Kyle

While watching the burn show for the Zaca Fire, one thing would have made everything perfect...

Kyle jumped into the picture as I was snapping it with my cell phone. We were both in our Yellows and hardhats, the US Forest Service logo on our sleeves. And there I was trying to get a picture of me with the Zaca Fire in the background, when now I’d have a picture of me and Kyle with his tongue sticking out.

They called us firefighters. Me and Kyle and everyone else on Engine Crew 31. We were the bozo’s from a town called Pozo, population: 35. Shaffrar was a 20-something farm kid who chewed Copenhagen like a grown man. Lightning was from South Georgia and talked really slow and was really long winded, hence the irony of his nickname. Embrie was our Captain, and she could carry a chainsaw like the Gears of War video game. But Kyle, Kyle just wrote “poop” on fiber tape and stuck it to the back of my helmet.

The Zaca Fire was my first fire. The second largest wildfire in the history of California. And I didn’t know what to expect as we rolled up in our Type 3 Wildland Fire Engine to watch the burn show, but Kyle leaning over and whispering “scary, ooooh scary” sure wasn’t helping.

Our striketeam, made up of 4 other fire engines and us, staged in a line along the safety zone and readied our hoses in case the firing operation when array. Hotshot crews were stationed at the top of three hills, preparing to set off a back fire and kill the beast. I looked up over the ridge and took off my sunglasses in awe.

There it was, the Devil himself, the main fire came ripping over the ridge like a tidal wave made of flames. The smoldering ash was shot high into the air, staining the evening sky a choking grey. Kyle and I stood at the edge of the safety zone taking weather. Wind conditions were right, everything checked out, crews loaded their grenades and prepared to start some fire.

The flares were fired high, exploding like bottle rockets on the dry brush. Small shrubs caught flame and torched like roman candles, and soon a wave of red and orange was snaking its way toward the main fire.

It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I’d been picked up off the street lifeguarding at a pool for this job, and never in my life did I think that I would ever be fighting a wildfire in some godforsaken forest in the mountains of California. I stood there breathless as I watched the show, and thought about all my friends back home who hadn’t been there for me when I needed them, or my family who had told me not to come here, and wondered how many people in the world would ever see this thing I was seeing now.

Kyle looked over at me and smiled.

“You know, fire’s not as scary as most people think it is.”

“I’m not scared,” I said trying to sound tough, “it’s exciting.”

He just smiled and continued watching the fire. We were standing really close to each other, two silhouettes against a raging flame front.

“It’s beautiful,” I gasped. He touched my head with his two fingers then.

“Keep it up here,” he said.

I shot a quick glance at him. His blue eyes and square jaw on his broad neck and shoulders made him perfect for hugging, perfect for teasing, there were plenty of things about him to make fun of. He was so beautiful too.

I thought about going for it, how the one thing that would make this moment perfect would be his hand in mine. Standing there watching the Zaca Fire, holding Kyle’s hand with my line gear on in the middle of nowhere would have been the best moment of my life.

We stood there in silence for a while, the fire danced a mile away, unable to harm us and yet threatening our lives. Then Kyle turned and walked back to the engine. It wasn’t what I was there for, I was there to fight fires and work hard. But even with my Pulaski axe proudly in my hands, I still wish I could have just bucked-up and held Kyle’s hand.

Reviews

[Paul Grimsley]

I really enjoyed this. It came across as the genuine article and read really easily. It was compelling and drew me in and along -- made me want to read more. It reads as if it might be the lead in to either one larger piece or a series of smaller pieces and as something to whet the appetite it is great.

when array = did you mean 'went awry' or 'went astray'? it was the one part that threw me

[Dms]

Very nice scene. I can definately identify with that 'go for it, don't go for it' push and pull at the end. I've missed one too many opportunities because of my more sensible side.
I liked how you described the fire as "the devil himself". I remember when I was a boy someone told me that if you stared into the flames long enough you would see him. I would keep staring then, scared, yet mezmerized at the same time.

[No one]

Well, this is as close to a formal introduction to the 'real you' as I'm going to get. At least, that's what it seems. Maybe it's just fiction wearing the yellow clothes and hardhat of a nonfiction story. Either way, I enjoyed it. Fire fascinates me, so in a way I envy you and your close proximity to the awesome power of the flames.

My suggestions for improving this piece are as follows:

Use more detail when introducing something most readers can't see in their heads. ---->our Type 3 Wildland Fire Engine

[Hedra Helix]

Dude, all your reviews on this are right on;) I thought all the same stuff. plus I forgot to mention. I noticed the same thing paul did..

when array = did you mean 'went awry'

[Hedra Helix]

Aww I love that! thanks for sharing something so close to your truth;)

My favorite part bar none was this :

made him perfect for hugging, perfect for teasing, there were plenty of things about him to make fun of. He was so beautiful too.

[Jaclyn]

My only complaint about this is that if you are using firefighting terms, you have to remember that most of us don't know what a burn show is or what a hotshot crew is (is it a slang term, or is a hotshot crew some sort of special team that works on a certain area of the fire?).

Even with the bit of vagueness on the terminology, this was such a snapshot that made me ache. I loved the idea that you stood there and remembered all these bitter things that hurt you, and you almost seemed refreshed and cleansed by the fire beast. Then, you have this tender moment that just oozes with innocence and regret and poignance...I wish you would've gotten to hold Kyle's hand as well. :) With all the chaos around you, you were just a girl who wanted to be standing in perfect stillness with a guy you cared about...I just...I really felt it. Write on!

[Jacob Ives]

I liked this. Nonfiction like this doesn't need to be spiced up too much. It's honest, straightforward, refreshing... the dialogue is excellent. There's not an unnecessary line in the whole thing, but it doesn't sound like you adjusted anything to make it more exciting or dramatic for us, (though you obviously took the time to edit it, give some background, ... make it a good story). Anyway, you told it well.


"But Kyle, Kyle just wrote "poop" on fiber tape and stuck it to the back of my helmet. "

Who wouldn't go for that?