A Letter to my Angel

     When death unforgivably robs the cradle, a sad story unfolds into painful chapters. My words, as simple as they are, will never be able to express the amount of grief I have known in loosing you. One can never truly understand the depth of this kind of loss unless they have themselves have experienced it. I have stared death in the face, and in doing so I gained a newfound respect for life. Only in death can one learn how to live, that is the irony of it.

     The all too short fourteen months I was blessed with you, changed me in ways I cannot voice. I now have a vision for the hidden beauty in life. The type that blind eyes might never have the chance to witness. I can see hope, almost as if it were displayed upon a shelf for the next aimless being. I still find myself wandering down the aisle, almost a year after I laid you to rest, searching for the courage to continue on in this journey we call life.

        I hold your memories close to my half broken heart; it is these alone that make the pain seem almost bearable. The echo of your innocent laughter still haunts my silent ears. How I yearn to hear it one last time. The way you used to cry, although not often, even through the sickness and perpetual hours spent in hospital rooms. You were always such a cheerful child; you must have acquired that from your daddy.

     Your first birthday, the way you devoured the cake in mere minutes, which took me almost twelve hours to make. The way you couldn’t quite rip the colorful paper of your presents. How you would throw yourself on your butt and smack your hands against your forehead when you felt frustrated. It is these simple moments that I cherish, the ones most people take for granted. I hold these precious memories within my heart as a keepsake.

     I am not quite sure where heaven can be found, but I know you must be there. With the feathered wings of a divine angel and the pure spirit only a child can possess. I rest easy knowing you have departed this life for the next, a home in which everything is perfect. I can think of far worse places then heaven to grow up. Until I grow my wings with you, my guardian angel I know you’ll be.

     I have found peace simply because I know that you no longer have to suffer. And although you may not be here in body, I know you are in spirit. I never have to walk this life alone, for I have an angel upon my shoulder. You are the warmth within the summer’s sun. The gentle whisper of the autumn breeze. For all I have to do is take a second glance, and I can see you in the beauty of this ugly world.

     I have so much to thank you for, my son. You have been my inspiration to better myself and the life of your big brother Ryan. I only wish to make you proud. You have given me the strength needed to be who I have always wanted to be. It is you, my hero, who has opened my eyes to all of what life, can offer. It was you who taught me how to live; in the short year I was able to know you.

     Death robbed the cradle, and stole what was your life. But what it could not take was your memories. I hold them for myself. What it could not take from me, was what was already given. So here I sit, filling in the blank chapters of what was your precious life. I miss you Colton John, and until I join you there in your home of heaven, know that you are loved and missed with every beat of my still half broken heart.

Reviews

[Courtney]

Really good keep it up