Chapter Six: Grasping Love

The day before graduation, Elijah had enough of all this. He was furious and was planning to talk to Cherice, one on one. Elijah came to my house that night and threw a rock on the side of my room’s window.

“Get your a*s down here, man, and come with me.”

“Where are you wanting to go?”

“Just come on or I’m going to kick your a*s.”

 

“I knew he was serious because Elijah was usually not this angry, so I came along.”

“I’m going to get this straightened up, Kit.”

We walked to Cherice’s house and I was not feeling like having to deal with all of this.

“Kit, you stay here and wait by her window. Listen to what we say. I’m getting this straightened out.”

“Man, is this a good idea?”

“Shut up, fool.”

Elijah knocked on Cherice’s door and Cherice’s mom answered.

“I need to talk to Cherice,” Elijah said.

“Cherice” yelled her mom.

Cherice came and welcomed Elijah. She took Elijah to her room and he started talking to her and then asked questions.

“Cherice, do you know what you are doing to Kit?”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Yea, you are, Cherice. Kit has been in the hospital with heart failure over you and you are going to answer some questions. I’m tired of seeing him like a zombie and I want the old friend I have known for years back.”

“Elijah, it’s more complicated than that.”

“Alright Cherice, do you love him?

“Elijah...”

“Damnit Cherice, he loves you and I know you love him. Do you love him? Do you think of him. Answer me, now!!!! Damnint!”

“Stop this! Stop this!”

“Then answer the question.”

“Yes, I do. I love Kit. He’s all I think about.”

I heard Cherice say these words. I could not believe my ears. Without thinking I went to her open window, put my head in and said,

“You do?”

Cherice looked at me as if surprised.

“You are no different than the rest, though. You only want me for one thing. You‘re a perv, a lecher.”

“Cherice, you know that is a lie. Yea, we kissed and that moment was my bad. It was totally out of hand and pure passion. But it was reciprocal. Have you ever had one instance where I groped you or made a lewd comment?”

“No...”

“If you would allow me to explain myself to you, you would see how I really feel about you.”

Cherice nodded her head and said to come over in an hour. Elijah and I left and I hugged Elijah and thanked him for being there for me.

“Kit, that’s what friends do.”

“Thanks bro.”

Elijah left and an hour later I went to Cherice’s. She let me in and we immediately started talking.

“Kit, I shouldn’t have said all of my feelings. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, it’s ok, Cherice. I feel the same way about you.”

“Kit, I am sorry. I have wanted to be with you all along. I just can’t tell people how I feel. I’m so used to shallow people and after that kiss, I thought you would just want me for sex and never want to share anything with me except lewdness and debauchery. I‘m sorry I made you suffer.”

“Cherice, I have been in love with you since the first moment I laid eyes on you. I couldn’t say anything either because I thought you would never want me. I knew when I met you, you were deep and I wanted to share that with you. You were so beautiful, like a siren tempting the skies themselves to fall from the heavens to feel her embrace.”

“Oh, Kit. I love you. I’m sorry. Were you really in the hospital and do you have heart failure?”

“Yes, I’ve had pain for years but didn’t pay attention.”

“Oh my Scorpio. I can’t bear life without you!”

Cherice laid her head on my chest and I held her for many hours, her eyes gazing in mine as she felt the rhythm of my heart. After she fell asleep, I thought it was time I go. I put her head on her pillow and I found a piece of paper and pencil to write. I wrote the letter placed it on her pillow, pulled her dark-raven hair back and kissed her gently on the forehead and left.

On this paper, I wrote this letter:

 

“Cherice, I was planning to go to North Carolina after our graduation for college. After hearing that you wanted nothing to do with me, it seemed meaningless to stay here and suffer in this world without you. However, if you love me and want me to stay, I will go to college here so I can be with you. I love you baby and would do anything for you. If you want me to stay, let me know
CALL ME TOMORROW!
I love you baby,
Kit.
PS here is our poem for you and I

“I’ll Be Strong For You”

Softly into my bitter ears,
Your words flow freely inside my heart.
Staring at the night time sky,
I find myself thinking of you.
The stars, themselves, call out your name,
Bringing solace to my battered heart.
I wonder if you see them too,
Where you live, so far from me.
By my side, I wish you here,
Just to hold you next to me.
Alas, I know this is a dream;
A fantasy, delusional to my mind.
I have accepted many things.
I know time can’t heal my wounds.
I can fake a smile, a simple laugh;
Keeping faith to make you smile.
God, I know him all too well.
My life, he cursed at birth.
I hope that my many trials,
Won’t darken you with my despair
This lonely fate without you,
I don’t mind bearing the pain.
I can remain strong for you,
Bearing crosses for only two.
Your despair, I know you keep,
I’ll take it in, keep you free.
And all the rest throughout my time,
Matter not if you are near.
My bitter years of broken dreams,
I’ll pick the shards if I can keep you here.
May they slit my skin, my blood to surface,
Dripping pools on grass-stained life.
But if you’re happy without my hand,
This walk I will continue alone.
I will bear the curse of sorrow,
A loneliness for all of time.