Chapter 1 - Blake

Secrets are for everyone. Some may share their secrets with their close friends, some may not. It always depends on what kind of person is holding that secret. Luckily for me, my friends never knew about deep " soul secret that I've always been keeping ever since when I realized something about myself.

Maybe some of them suspected it but no one ever asked me about it. True it may be bad to keep such hard secret on your soul so even if you want to tell someone, you can't because you are afraid of what they might think of you. That's what happened to me just before I found a person that had the same secret.

And this is how it all began to us…

 

I stared at myself through the mirror that hung in the change room water dripping down my face from my wet hair. My brown eyes stared back at me sadly holding most private secret that I’ve never told anyone. After awhile, I began to notice flaws in "perfect face" of mine. Everyone said that I'm handsome guy and girls fawned over me but how could they not notice my flaws? They were so easy to detect and yet no one did. I was afraid to look away from the mirror but I pulled my eyes away from sad face in the mirror and looked at the clock.

It was about 4 pm so pretty much I was going home early than other days. Most of the time after gym, my girlfriend Gigi, waited for me at the front doors and we walked back home together. Her house was located right on my street so we were seeing each other lots of time and we came over to each other's houses occasionally. Now it was becoming sort of our tradition ever since we started to go out together.

Well, more like, society of our parents and we must be going out with each other already. We were just friends back then but even now after we kissed, there were no feelings for each other so far. What kept us together was just that everyone expected to be us together. Everyone would do that to be still in popular crowd, right?

But today, when I started walking towards the front entrance, she was nowhere in sight. Perhaps she went out with her friends or she had test tomorrow or maybe she just forgot. Or she just didn’t want to see me. The thought made me laugh out loud and even though I probably sounded crazy right now, but no one ever forget to meet me somewhere that I would go to. Especially a girl that was a fan of mine.

My mood lifted at my own useless sarcasm and I walked out of the school heading back home. School was nearby but still I had to walk for about 10 minutes or more if I was tired or lazy. And this time I was just being bored so I slowed my pace and started to look around the street feeling like it was first time ever being here.

Houses on the street were simple magnificent, not plain and boring at all. Windows were large as they could be although sometimes there were not as great houses for just commoners. I sometimes felt sorry for them that they didn't live like other people did, but hey, this is life, wasn’t it? People choose themselves who they want to be and what they want to have.

Heaving a sigh, I stretched and stopped hearing music come out from one of the commoners houses flowing beautifully in the air and around me almost hypnotizing me. The music sounded like it was written by a professional, but still it sounded like a teenager built it and formed it into beautiful piece. With curiosity overpowering my mind, I stopped and looked around finding open garage door in the house that was on other side of the street.

I headed towards it crossing over the street that was silenced from other things and stopped myself once again before I could look into the garage. Taking deep breath while trying to calm my nerves of being rudely nosy, I knocked on the garage door making the music stop. Shuffling came from the shadowed part of basement and crashing sound of cymbals was followed after that causing me look inside with a frown.

Inside guy was righting the guitar in one hand and picking up the cymbals with another one trying to set them back where they belong. He had kind of a medium height but I guessed that I was few good inches above him. I asked loud and clear watching as he struggled to put back the instruments. "Do you need any help?" Guy looked up to me and our eyes met. His gray eyes widened and he let go of the cymbals that came crashing back down onto the ground and making me flinch.

It was Max Patois, the well known guy that was so far a homo. Crap, what had I gotten myself into? I hate homos, I hate them, I hate them... I repeated to myself but soon my mind began to shut down as I stood there arms at my sides staring at the most cutest boy I've ever met. No wonder all the girls liked these kinds of boys. And yes, my deep secret was overpowering my vulnerable mind now but I forced myself then to smile and wait for his answer.

Max smiled back at me brightly and shook his head. "No need. Thank you though." He finally picked up the cymbals and putting them on top of one shelf, he turned back around and with one hand on the electric guitar that he was holding, he spoke. "Well… What are you doing here, Blake? Where's your girlfriend?"

"Gigi? Oh, she just went shopping with her friends." I told him calmly with a lazy wave of my hand. Hopefully he will believe me and get on with conversation from the current topic. People always told me that I wasn't a good liar so I needed someone to practice my lies on. And here was the perfect opportunity.

Max slowly nodded and smiled with another charming smile that almost made me unable to breathe. "Oh. Then how come you are here? Like here?" He spread his arms gesturing to his garage and I lifted my shoulders trying not to let embarrassment get over me. "I heard music and decided to check it out. I couldn't do that, you say?"

He blushed, pink color staining his cheeks cutely and shook his head averting his gaze down on the floor. "It's okay. I was just wondering why the most popular and handsome guy of the whole school decided to stop by at my house." Now it was my turn to blush under his words. This was just getting worse and I somehow needed to leave already before things could get any worse.

I nodded and stepped back with faint smile. "It looked like you were busy. Maybe I should just go. Alright, bye. See you later!" I turned around and started to walk away but stopped when Max called out after me. "No! Wait!"

He, by sound of his footsteps, ran after me and stopped when he reached me. He asked then quietly. "Would you like to listen more to the music?” Then he quickly added, “Only if you want to." I slowly turned around and looked at him noticing that he was getting more and more nervous and was blushing with his head downward.

Smirk slowly crept up to my face and I reached out setting my hand on his shoulder. "I would love to listen more." My smirk turned into bright grin when he relaxed under my hand and then looked up to me tears slightly swelling up in his eyes. I frowned and shook my head lightly then taking my hand away. "Oy! Don't cry now. You'll look like a girl." He nodded and wiped his eyes before he gestured me to follow him and lead me inside the house.

My eyes took in quickly his house which seemed to me comfortable that any of those fancy houses that were outside. Nice, but not new, couch and few armchairs and then there was a small coffee table in front of the TV practically covered with magazines, books and notebooks. He probably studied more than I did, I thought to myself and sighed before looking towards the dining room along with the kitchen.

The kitchen was cute in its own way. The dark " wood table stood with empty space along with few chairs around it right beside the fridge and everything else. Even with this small space, the furniture made it look like this house was home to everyone. 

Technology in the kitchen was new but not as fancy as rich houses and everything was just simple. Nothing in this house was that luxurious or extra fancy that looked like it was bought for more than a million. My gaze moved back at Max who was watching me persistently as if he wanted me to rate his house.

“Uh…  Your house is nice.” I smiled hoping that I said with enough truth. This time, I didn’t lie but … Max beamed at me like he was told that he was now a richest guy in the whole world and gestured to the chair near the counter. “Take a seat. I need to have a break. Would you like to eat anything?” He asked me going towards the fridge.

Briefly taking another look around, I shook my head. “No, thank you. Do you have anything strong to drink? Like beer?” Max bit his lower lips cutely probably it was his thinking face. Max nodded then. "Yes. I might have it stored somewhere here." He turned around and began to search around for liquor. I watched him for couple seconds before I sighed softly and looked down at my phone going through messages that were exchanged between me and Gigi before me hitting the gym. None of those messages said what I wanted to hear about where she went and how come she didn't wait for me.

Clink of the glass on the table made me look up at the bottle of beer that was standing in front of me and Max was sitting across me holding another one like that. He smiled happily and I managed to return the faint smile before I took the bottle and screwing off the lid, I gulped down the liquid.

 

* * * *

 

After few hours of useless drinking and of easy going conversations between Max and I, my gaze moved to the clock and sighed seeing that it was only 8 pm. I looked back at Max who was sitting in the chair with crossed legs watching me with slightly narrowed eyes as if he was planning to do something. After awhile, I decided that it was probably my imagination.

I rubbed my eyes and took a deep breath before grabbing table and then stood up slightly wobbling as my vision blurred and world swam around me. Max stood quickly and moved towards me reaching out to help me. I gladly took his hand and he moved closer snaking his arm around my waist also righting me up. 

Even with my state of drunkenness, his touch felt nice instead of being rough and taking advantage of me like some of other girls did somehow. I leaned gladly against his warmth and he supposedly smiled down at me before he started walking towards the door.

During our walk towards it, I said with slurred speech. "I need to go home." Max chuckled softly and nodded. "Yes, I know that, Blake. Is your house far?" I shook my head and he smiled lightly before he put me up against the wall and took the coat from the hook putting it on me slowly and carefully. "You can bring it back tomorrow." I tried to nod but as I started to move it, everything swam around me making me stumble forward.

Just in time he caught me with his outstretched arms and pulled me back up smiling as if he wanted to me to fall and himself to catch me. I slightly narrowed my eyes at him but he didn’t say anything when he opened the door and escorted me out.

The chilling air of early winter hit me straight as I walked out of the warm house. Even under the soft coat, I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself feeling more awake than I was ever before. Then arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me back into some warmth that made me look at the person. Once again, it was Max that was guiding me forward back to my own house and still holding my shoulders pulling me into his warmth.

Deciding that only this once and only because of cold and because I was already drunk, I will let him hold me like that. When we finally neared my house, I looked up to the windows and sighed. No one was home so I'll be all alone until the very morning. We walked up the steps and I stopped in front of the door starting to look into my pockets hoping to find the keys.

When I finally found them, I took them out and turned them in the lock unlocking the door.  As I started to walked inside the house, Max pulled me back and I face him to ask what it was before something soft was against my lips. Slightly frowning in the darkness, I didn't know what to do until I realized what was against my lips.

Strength suddenly came back to me and I pushed him away with punch straight at his jaw. He winced and stumbled down the stairs managing not to fall yet. Anger boiled through me and I huffed before turning around and walking into the house slamming the door after myself. I turned on the lights in the entry way and leaned against the wall taking deep breaths.

Even though the secret was still inside of me, how could this happen? To me? Why now?

Author's Note

What do you think? :)