The World Has Fallen

I'm lost.
I do not know what to do, where to go, who to seek.
I don't know what is right and what is wrong. What is good and what is evil.
My right hand is black from blood, the other is white from snow.
Purity and death.

Wherever I go, whatever I do, it doesn't feel right. As though everything turned on me, as if the world decided I wasn't welcome anymore. My mind and my heart are not at agreement anymore. When I feel good, I think I shouldn't. Like it's wrong to feel good. Everything seems to try to convince me I am wrongful as whole. Like there is nothing for me to do that would wash off the signs of my sins.
I wander through the endless fields. I kill a man and my heart flutters with excitement. I swear a vow and my wishes seem fulfilled. And then I break the vow and I feel at loss, just for a moment, until I do it again, and again, and again. And the white before my eyes turns to red and to black and to grey. And the grey is all I see, all I feel, all I know.
I am blind now, my body is blind. My soul, my hands, my eyes, my thoughts. Blindness, it feels good. I cannot be held responsible, I didn't know, I didn't see.
And I smell fire, I smell burnt bodies, cities, feathers, hair. I smell the smoke as it runs down my throat, I choke on it and it feels like I'm finally full. And the smoke sticks to my lungs, cracks at every breath, tearing the walls down. And then I smell nothing, I taste blood running up my throat, filling my mouth, flowing down my cheeks, but I don't choke on it. It becomes part of me, this bloody stream on my face and chest and thighs. It's endless. And I can't taste anymore.
I am blind, I am mute, I am breathless. And I hear the world. The bird breaks into a song of death. The fish splatters the bloody sea around. The wolf growls quietly over his roast beef of someone's liver and the bone of spine cracks. The snake's scales whisper in the sand like a mother smothering her child. The creatures roam the lands and I stand there, listening, as they run past me as though I'm not even there. All the sounds screw into my ears until they become a constant buzzing of a thousand bees. They're looking for a way into my shattered brain.

But I can still touch, I can still feel. And I can still walk. So I step forward and I feel the fur, the feathers, the scales, the sand brushing against my fingers. The warmth of the cruel, impassive sun and the cold of eternal stiffness. My bare feet stumble over sharp rocks and merciless thorns and they bleed, become numb. I fall, but I keep going, grabbing branches with my loathsome palms, sliding my stomach over endless mountains, as I traverse the lands and oceans. My touch finally leaves me as well and all I can feel is the life fleeting away with every drop, every second, every grain.
And then I know at last. As my heart stops, my mind becomes clear. There has never been hope. There has never been light. Only the steep path leading into the abyss. It was never too late, because there has never been time. And now everything stopped and the world we knew has fallen.

Reviews

[Allen Smuckler]

Excellent write Harmonia,
your words caught my interest from the onset, grabbed hold of me midway, and before I knew it...I was captured. The energy, images, and heart pounding pace made me wish it wouldn't end but rushing to the finish line to discover what we could only imagine. Perhaps it was more relatable, toxic and topical than any of us care to admit.
This short story would also make a great first chapter to a book, BTW and interestingly enough the last chapter.
Well written Harmonia.
allen

[Harmonia Chimera]

Oh my gods, thank you so, SO much! I love your reviews, they're always so logical, professional and straight to the point I can't even make them look like barely an opinion (and that's what I tend to do when I have a bad mood, trying to bring myself down more). So thank you a lot. This means a lot. To be honest, when I was writing it, it was supposed to be a story of a girl lost in a wood and trying to find her way, and somehow it turned into an apocaliptic sort of thing, and I don't even know how.
I am taking that into consideration, but I thought more of it being a meaningful nightmare for a character in one of my book. You know, the kind of nightmare that completely changes your way of thinking, makes you lead your life differently.
Thank you for a fantastic review!

[Allen Smuckler]

you're most certainly are welcome Harmonia...As I said, it was impressive. I've read two of your works and enjoyed both...so keep on keepin' on...
Whatever you decide for this particular write will work, however, usually, not always but usually..."think long....think wrong".... you should always keep that in mind...
I can see your dilemma Harmonia, but usually it's just better to keep as intended...it just seems it was meant to be....and move on to the next project...
I can't wait to read it....
allen

[Inspiring Writer]

The world's been fallen... WELL SAID AND WELL EXPLAINED. Liked whatch ya said. Everyday this story apply's on everyone's life indirectly. To make it more powerful and strong we human always do the same evilly things in our life and get pain after gives some pain.
An outstanding write written by you. If you have some more time to write or add then i'd love to recommend you to write... i meant to add some more lines here in this piece because, i wanna read more on it.

From the past few days, i'm working on my book and i'd dropped the one tittle "The world's been filled with bad things"... but write half page .. i wasnt getting some more words to write on. what to write.
But after read your this piece, i must say, i've got what i was probing i think. This' write tells me to continue my write too. So, if you write.. even i'd love to say, you must have to add few more lines on it... i wanna read.

Beautiful write, it's so real.. totally real one write.
Great job. Ii must say one more thing that the world's also been filled with such kinda great writers alike you.

[Harmonia Chimera]

Thank you! I love your review, and I'm so glad I could help you get writing! I hope it works out great for you :)

[Anti Phalanx]

This is brilliant! I find your writings amazing, you create some really great imagery. May I ask, when did you start taking an interest in writing?

[Harmonia Chimera]

When I was, like, four? I started reading then. I wrote my first story when I was five. When I was seven, I decided I wanted to be both a vet and a writer, and well, here I am.

[Anti Phalanx]

It sounds like your doing well for yourself :)

[The Mutterer]

This is excellent, I enjoyed reading and read it twice. It was moving and the imagery you use is immensley powerful. Nice :)

[Harmonia Chimera]

I am SO glad you like it! I enjoyed writing this one and I'm happy others enjoyed reading it, too!