M.I.A.

M.I.A.

A Story by ian8777
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A piece of flash fiction

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The room was quiet, with only a faint hum of roadwork’s coming from the freeway. The toxic stench of stale cigarettes and incense caused Jim to gag and cover his mouth with his t-shirt. The bunk bed was full of magazines, books, and junk that had no purpose. The floor was strewn with dirty underwear, empty beer cans, and half full take-away boxes. He lifted a slice of pizza and eyed it in disgust, ‘Hmmm, pepperoni and penicillin’ he whispered, as he placed it carefully on top of the overflowing pedal bin. In all his years serving as a Marine in hell holes around the world, Jim had never seen filth quite like this.


Jim moved to the window and tried to lift the sash. His barrel like arms strained and heaved, but it had been stuck fast when his son Jacob had painted the room black a few years ago.  He stood back from the window, with the sound of potato chips breaking beneath his feet. ‘How can anyone live like this?’ he mumbled, while scratching his arms and neck roughly.


 The black walls were covered with posters of bands that wore make up and angled fringes that covered half their faces. They had names like ‘Don’t look down’, or ‘Kids that cut’. They disgusted him, and he stared at them through hate filled eyes. They were the ones who had kidnapped his strong and healthy boy, and turned him into a weak minded little prick.


‘Why can’t he play baseball or something, like a normal kid’ he spat while rummaging through Jacob’s chest of drawers. Jim found a Playboy magazine which made him smile, ‘at least he ain’t no f*g’ he chuckled while flicking through its contents. He placed the magazine back in the drawers and found a small notebook which he opened. It was completely blank except for a small poem written in calligraphy.


  LIFE SUCKS:
 Pop’s never at home
 Can’t reach on the phone
 With a w***e, drunk in bed
 Crying alone, my Mom is dead.

© 2012 ian8777


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Reviews

Sounds like where I was held up at after my divorce but no band posters. Great story

Posted 12 Years Ago


ian8777

12 Years Ago

It wa based on an old flatmates living arrangements..thanks for the review!
Very good; very pointed. You didn't tel about your characters, but "showed" them, which is a mark of good writing.

Posted 12 Years Ago


ian8777

12 Years Ago

just read your story 'straws' and I think your descriptive powers are right on!
Marie

12 Years Ago

Thank you. I don't describe backgrounds or people, but hope they are defined in the context of my wr.. read more
ian8777

12 Years Ago

Yes i get that. This is also the way I like to write. I feel that a person's actions can determine h.. read more
Nice imagery throughout the whole story. You wrote it very well, no uninspired beginnings. The emotions at the vet end were raw and well done in the boy's journal. Nice write
God bless

Posted 12 Years Ago


ian8777

12 Years Ago

Hey thanks very much. All the best..
Lost in Wonderland

12 Years Ago

No problem

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188 Views
3 Reviews
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Added on August 6, 2012
Last Updated on August 6, 2012

Author

ian8777
ian8777

North Wales, United Kingdom



About
I am new to creative writing and new to this web-site. I am looking forward to meeting like minded people to share stories and tips on writing... more..

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