THE DEATH OF THE OLD ME

I sat by and watched him died!

I sat by
And watched His blood dried
In the cracks.
He was juvenile
Filled with pride
And He was my friend, once upon a time.
But when He was stabbed in the heart
I just sat there, like a frozen time
And watched Him died.
He was the old me.
So, I just sat by
And watched His blood dried
In the cracks
As I transcended into a new life.

Reviews

[Ashley Renegade]

This is really good! The only thing I would suggest is that is a little bit of grammar problems. I noticed you are from Nigeria, so considering that you are doing fantastic with English!

That being said it would make more sense if it said:
"And watched as His blood dried"

And:
"And watched as He died."

Simple wording issues. As far as concept and writing style it is really really good! Way to go and keep it up!

[IamRealTusoul]

Thank you dear friend...

[Devious13]

that is excellent ! i loved it i can relate and i feel as though i felt your very pain bravo !!! good job ,