I Once Wrote A Poem

I once wrote a poem
I wrote it on my palm
But somehow it washed away
With tears or sweat
I can't really remember
I took a bottle of water
And drank all of it
But I felt thirsty all day
As if my thirst for life
Yet to be quenched
I put on a sweater
To keep the chilly wind away
But inside I felt cold
With no signs of love and care
I desperately tried to find a shelter
A shelter made of love
But I didn't realize
There were holes in my heart
And to hold love it wasn't prepared

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

No man can put new wine into old wineskins. The wine will ripen, the skins burst and both will be destroyed. And no one can say that new wine is wonderful straight after they have tasted old because they will say, the old is far better. But put new wine into new wineskins and keep the old wine in old skins so both are preserved. That was a lesson from my Teacher.

[Mrs MelRose]

Nice. I like that one a lot. I can relate to this poem.

[BlackPrince]

'There were holes in my heart, and to hold love it wasn't prepared.'
That lines says to me that love is a two-way street.
It takes our individual effort as well, from the heart, to show true love, and a sincere lover or friend will reciprocate, because love is reciprocal.
So sometimes it's good to question ourselves; do we make the effort to show the love that we'd like to receive from others?

WELL DONE!!!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Inject Positivity,
"I Once Wrote A Poem"
The yearning of your being just cries; a yearning for closeness-safety-trust.
I get it. The building of the need of love; it began with the use of your palm. Our hands are very special and important for giving-receiving.
The poem upon your palm washed away-the loss of youthful dreams?
The bottle of water? Thirst for life. This is a need in all of us. Very beautiful!
The sweater to keep the chilly wind away? Still cold inside. Wow!
No signs of love and care, I desperately tried to fin a shelter. A shelter made of love.
There were holes in my heart but to love it wasn't prepared.
You have done yourself proud. I really liked all the subtle symbolism. It was interesting and challenging to grasp. thank you.
Kathy

[Samantha]

This was a lovely read, truly amazing and something I enjoyed. Love is tricky and scary and sometimes my heart is like that. It's tired and can't hold the love it so desperately wants too. Very well written! I hope you are well and life is treating you kind you good soul (:

[anne]

I hadn't been on here for a year or so, but I just came back and I remembered you. I remembered your kindness and your positivity and I felt this sudden need to visit your page and see what you've been sharing. I really enjoyed reading this poem. Though it seems to be build around feelings of emptiness or sadness or some kind of brokenness, I think it also portrays a sense of hope. Although the poem might be washed from the hand, it has left an open space for something new. The holes in your heart will be filled again by the growth you will experience. It will be something very rewarding, I think, to see how much you can endure. I hope you're well x

[jaybeth]

Hmm, really touching diction there.

[Vria P Crow]

Long time no see my positive friend! However, this poem contradicts my previous statement. It sounds as though you have been heartbroken yet there is still an innocent tone to it. Please do not let pain sway you from who you are or rather let it help you grow.

[BBP]

I liked this, the comparison to the outside feelings verse the inside. You twisted this well.

[Quinn]

Beautiful, very nice form with an interesting story behind it. Very personal and a lovely read.