Naked

Naked,

so very naked you feel

you stand alone in cold

people surrounding,

every eye on your naked body

they see you clearly,

they study you closely

 

You sense that your heart is now exposed to air,

yet it can't breath

it wouldn't dare to take in air

around all of these eyes

an awkward movement,

means another day that you stand here naked

 

Eyes! eyes!

so many eyes!

they are all red arn't they?

they pierce every pore in your skin

seering through you; x-ray scanning

your heart begins to pound, pound, pound

 

All eyes are on your heart

you know it

the red light reflects onto your heart

as your feel it start to burn, burn, burn

 

Your blue eyes bubble in tears of pain

steam emerges from their sockets

and your eyes start to rain

all of the other eyes move to your's

before you throw your hands to cover your face,

they notice the rain clouds blurring your eyes,

the rain clouds that clothed the naked eyes

that were looked right through

until you gave into your naked fear. 

 

Author's Note

It's not that good. I just wrote it off of the top of my head in a few minutes.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

This is an incredible poem of raw emotion, a
flood of feelings unleashed. The power of our
emotions displayed, triggered by the stares of the
prying, semi conscious minds.

This is an exceptional poem in many respects, imagery,
flowing description, feeling and technique blended into
what I consider a masterpiece.
My Favorite !
RATE: 100%
---- Eagle Cruagh

[WorldOfMakeBelieve]

I like it I like the colors mixed in with it and I thought it was amazing =)

[Emily B]

Very good work. Full of electric emotion.

[lori c]

how often do people get to us in this way...looking right through us until we crumble under their scrutiny and often for no defineable reason. i love the color choices here, brings out an interesting emphasis. the last stanze seems to be the natural outcome of such eyes watching and waiting seemingly forever. pretty darn good for something just off the top of your head. i like it.

[Shadows of Sight]

I'm thinking i like this. Even though i believe that we shouldn't let other people make us feel so insecure.
It happens alot thought, the people see through our veils and see more then what we would like them to see.
But i guess that's what actually either makes us grow or makes us cower and hide, letting others grow over us.
I choose to grow, and not care what other people see inside me.
Great Write! :)

[Wolfwind Words]

I liked where this was going. The last stanza through me though. Not sure exactly what it was, but it seemed like the subject changed. If i guessed i would say that this has to do something with people seeing through the masks people wear to hide their innerselves. And the fear one feels when everyone seems to see right throught?
I think this has a lot of potential! :)
Keep up the good writing!