MY old Self, ideas of the past

this one's from '10 but i just want to put it somewhere


i'm sitting here bored not knowing what to do ith myself. looking for some kind of answer but not even getting a hint. i've thought about resetting, that's the easiest option. but i dont want to lose some of the things i have.

i wish i had a guide to what we call life. but no one that makes to the end can really teach you. people can try to prepare you. with little infromation we actually have. tell you the basis of things. but it's the details that always haunt you.

even now, i'm not sure why i'm writting this. there's no real point to it. maybe it's the thought of someone finding this reasures me some how. like a way to confid in someone but leaving it to chance to pick who.

i'm not sure why i've double checked this. looking for my mistakes. in this world words dont matter. the lack of them makes the difference. words are just noise, silence is reason.

i'm not even sure if i'm depressed. i'm sure i've gotting over this whole "living" thing. making it more of a waiting line. i'm not sure to where. really, why would there be more. why would we want to continue to have the happy moments fade. the time where there's nothing more to talk about. when the stories run out or grow old.

there's nothing that truely lasts forever is this world. time makes all bow down to it. the world keeps going forward. every step leaves no path. there's never a turning back or try agains. if you try to always hold your path your future will crumble. if you leave your path you feel lost and alone. your heart closes just a bit and wont open again. you cant find someone new. a person to make a new path with you. but it's never the same, and the new will never truely see your heart.

forgotten shards
the wounds never heal
the smoke never rises
start forgetting how to feel

Oh mister denial,
come pay a visit.
I want that sweet bliss
they call ignorance.
If only forgetting was as easy as it sounds.
Or maybe I've forgotten how....

These are things i've said that i think might be romantic:

(more are coming. I just haven't said them yet, and these are all by me from my own mind)

"I've lived a life of regret. But I would do it all again since it means i get to meet you, and i wouldn't change that for the world"