In Time

Another long one inspired by a dear one

What if you're just pretending to care?
What If you don't really know I'm there?
You never speak anymore
I know you're busy and have a life
I shouldn't bug you with all my strife
Are you really there for me?
Are you too good to be true?
Do I even have a clue?
Is this a trick from your own twisted mind?
A movie plot of every other kind?
Give me an answer
I wanna talk
Tell me what you really feel
Don't just walk
Away from me
No more lies or deceit
I'm tired of second guessing
Where I'm putting my feet
So I'm checking to see if you
Really love
Me
Because i know the mask you wear all too well
I wear it everyday to escape from my own hell
The same mask on a different face each made of
Silk and satin and armour and steel
The velvety richness of your voice
And the way you make me feel wanted
Leaves with me that very choice
Are you real, my friend that's haunted
I change the rhyme scheme but
It doesn't bother me
My writing grows, longer more
Perceptive and
Cunning and
Structured like waves of thoughts and of puzzles
My face into your chest I nuzzle
Thinking it's all fine for a while
I look up at you, you see me and smile
Were you watching the whole time? I ask myself
I'm putting certain thoughts away on a shelf
For I fear of getting hurt like all the others
However we can't live without each other?
Do you feel that ember, that spark, that small flame?
It ignites in me, but to you is it pain?
Pain in knowing my love is more true
And that yours is a bi product of me loving you?
Or have you thought about this before?
The fact that I could walk right out that door
If you don't love me soon, you must forever hold peace
And the misery ensues with the struggles and the tease
The mockery and flirting the hair flips and lip bites
Your tell it is showing. On purpose or fight it?
Kiss me in the bearded barely one day
And maybe I'll get out what I want to say
All of this
Not in rhythm
Or reason
Nor rhyme
But in words my dear
In words my love
In words and
In time