Life; virtue or sin?

Life is a wondrous virtue, so people often have told me. I have been told that life delights the masses. In this single moment, I have experienced what others have experienced a thousand times - happiness. It seems a strange statement. A gentleman has not experienced happiness? I can imagine the laughter that taunts the lips of those reading this. A gentleman has wealth. He has women...or men, if his preference should follow such a path. A gentleman has everything. Of course, this is but a subliminal piece of the jigsaw piece...one small piece.

 

Motives...consequences. They are both beautiful lights which guide me. The motives of life; what purpose do I have? Which path do I wish to follow? I ask myself these questions, reflecting on the past, mistakes which I have made, hoping I will not make them again. These motives are guides - they will help me find myself and my soul. Consequences - the consequences are what make the motives important. The motive might be right but the consequence means the action is wrong. The question - how do we predict the consequences? We cannot. Consequences are variable. This is the Hawthorne Effect - the principle of outside factors, variables dependent on the environment.

 

People have often said that life is not as it seems. I struggle to find a fault in life's virtues. Life is a beautiful and intrisic value to which I possess little understanding of. I adore life as I adore Venus. Like love, I relish the pain that stems forth from it. This is the balance of life - pain and pleasure. We are all sadomasochistic at heart. We all relish the pain, the lashing of rejection because we know we will find happiness. It is what we are all searching for. I understand that there must be a balance. There has to be. Life is balanced. Only we can change that.

 

Yin and Yang - principles which have lived with me for a lifetime. Karma - it will have its way with me. Should I feel remorse that I am a mere ragdoll for the deities of Love and Life? How can I? It is a beautiful adrenaline rush. I relish the happiness it brings me. It excites me. I dare say that it arouses me, if I should be so profound. Some people commit those glorious seven sins for excitement. I do nothing but live my life and yet I get that same effect. Perhaps life is the eighth sin. Life is my glorious sin. It is my only sin. I revel in.

 

If life were a woman, I would adore her. I would submit to her. Oh how she would shine a glorious light with beautiful black tresses that fall across her shoulders, her ebony flesh alluring me with those thick lashes. How I would love her. One day, I shall be free of this meagre exterior and my soul shall be free to dance in the mountains. Untin then, I excite myself with a taste what is to be had in this world.