An Alliteration of Life

This poem was written when I was inspired to write by a good friend and forced myself to explore the true nature of the soul, or at least, my soul.

Of death and darkness, sweet desires,

Lost in the oceans of obsessive omens.

Twisted tales of subtle trauma

Soft sounds of screaming, filling the halls.

 

Anguish and angst, a moment's pause,

Translating the tears to something real.

Raw from the ropes of restricting woes

Lost in the feel of lust's cruel lash.

 

Eclipses of elusive empathy dwell

Haunting the hallowed halls of the mind,

I fumble, I fall and lose the focus

Bound to the beast of brutish pride.

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

Ah, alliteration, one of my very favorite poetic devices! You make good use of it in this poem and as far as I can tell no words are lost or forced into the stanzas simply because they begin with the right letter. It's a very telling poem too - it takes a lot to admit to one's own pride, but the tone of your poem gives the impression that you'd like to fix that attribute. I have one constructive (I hope!) comment, though: I suggest that you get rid of the first word, "of" and add the word "are" to the end of that first line instead. The way it stands now the first two lines of your poem form a fragment of a sentence, and to me that's a little confusing. Good job!

[D Poet K]

definitely different than most poems i've read in the contest...this was good