The Epic of Roy the Moose

Many years ago
On a bright summer's day
lived a moose named Roy
who went out to play.
The games he played
are not like your's or mine.
They involved goring hikers
and random passer-bys.
Now Roy spent his morning
running and having fun.
He slew a hiker or two or three
and then lay out in the sun.
After all that running
Roy found he was tired.
His legs fet like jello
and his mind unwired.
He found his eyelids heavy
and his tongue tied, for he could not speak.
The rough grass felt like velvet...
and he soon was fast asleep.
.....
ROY AWOKE (with a jolt)!
and discovered he was bored.
"What good is my life," he thought
"If all I do is maul and gore".
So,Roy contemplated this fact
and slowly formed a plan;
he would seek adventure
and forever leave this land.
He packed his things (he didnt have many)
and was soon ready to go.
He ventured into the forest
.......
and tripped in a rabbit hole.
Roy's foot was caught, he could not escape!
He strugled and struggled, but could not get free.
He made such a commotion, he made such a racket,
the forest's residents all came to see.
The mice all chuckled,
the birds all laughed
and suddenly, A BEAR APPEARED!!!!!!
and then, it left.
Now Roy became sad,
and started to cry.
But, then heard a little voice,
saying "I'll help you, big guy".
Roy felt his foot being pushed
and with a loud *POP!*,
it emerged from the hole.
Roy did a bunny hop.
He looked for his savior,
but the other animals had gone home.
A voice said "Look down"
and he saw who removed him from the hole.
It was a small grey rabbit
(He was really small)
His ears made up most of his height
(He was only one foot tall)
"I'm Mitch" The rabbit told Roy
"That's cool," said Roy, "but now I must go."
"Why?" said Mitch, "Let's play a game"
"No"
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to."
"Why?"
"Am I not getting through?"
"Kinda," said Mitch
"It sounded like "No",
but I must say
I can't tell, fo sho"
"Why" asked Roy, completely puzzled
Mitch shuffled his feet and gave him a shrug
"I'm hard of hearing," he said
"Don't tell anyone"
Roy started to laugh
then thought about death
(Dumbledore, Agent Smith, and Obi-wan Kenobi all die!)
Then, silently, returned to his quest.
"Where are you going?" Mitch asked
"Away!" said Roy, again pausing his quest
"Away from you,
and this stupid for-est!"
"I know a place!" Mitch said with Glee
(Which is also a TV show that I havn't seen)
"We can run and have fun all day long
and it will be awesome, like Charlie Sheen (Lawlz)"
Roy paused...
and decided to ask
"Where is this place?"
"Just over that mountain; we'll get there fast!"
Roy thought to himself
"It would be quite nice
to not be like Charlie Sheen.
Hey, it'll be cool, like Rita's Water Ice."
"Okay" Roy agreed
"I'll go on this journey
get your stuff together
and hurry!"
"Oh, I'm ready,"
Mitch said with a grin
"I've been ready to leave
since 2010"
So they were off
skipping along
(actually, mooses can't skip:
their legs are too long)
They travled for some time
and saw many things;
les hippopotames, les crocodiles
and a lion, who was the king.
(But that's not important)
They came to a town
but it seemed empty
obviously not the cool crowd.
Suddenly, a man appeared
"Help us!" the dude shouted
"No" said Roy
and then the guy pouted;
"There's a dragon up there!"
he said hysterically
"He's eaten our townspeople,
each and every one, ALL THREE!!"
Roy sighed; he did not want to help
"What can I do?" he said gritting his teeth
"If you could slay the dragon with your antlers
that would be great." the guy said, so peach-il-y.
Roy sighed again, and said "Ok...."
And he and Mitch turned
and waled toward the mountain
where dragon's fire burned.
They climbed up the mountain.
It wasn't very hard
For as I said earlier
Mitch was small and Roy's legs were long.
They reached the top
There was a foul odor in the air
"Where's the dragon" Roy wondered
AND THEN IT APPEARED!!!!
It looked very fierce
from it's head to its toe.
Its scales were bright green.
It smelled strongly of smoke.
"Let me handle this!"
Roy said with a snort
"Be my guest." said Mitch
Roy had not retort.
Roy charged at the dragon
baring his antlers.
He was as strong as an elephant
and as fast as a Trans-Am.
He charged at the dragon
brandishing his horns
"When I'm done with you," he thought
"you'll be covered in dragon-sores!"
And they fought
.....
and fought
.....
and the lion won!
.....
just kidding.
...
To be more precise,
the fight went like this;
Roy charged at the dragon,
and the dragon ate him.
Now the dragon lumbered to Mitch,
who promptly backed against the wall.
And as the dragon neared,
Mitch said "Jolly good show!"
"Why thank you," said the dragon,
"You did well too.
No one could lure that wretch nup here.
No one, that is, but you."
Mitch shuffled his feet,
and mumbled a "thank you"
"You should go back," said the dragon,
"and tell the guy the task is through"
So Mitch went down
to the mountain's base
On his way down he spied
a wooden sign, which he faced.
"Welcome All." the sign read
"To the Village of Hikers
Who Traverse the Forest
On Foot, Not by Bike-rs"
And Mitch went to the town
and heard thunderous applause.
The hikers all clapped for him
for helping their cause.
"Thank you so much,"
said the man from earlier
"You halped rid us of a monster,
a murderer!
Now we hikers are free!
We can traverse the forest as we please
and we don't have to worry about
the killer moose, who comes out of the trees!"
"Now, my friends,"
the man said to the crowd,
"We have some hiking to do!"
And he took a low bow.
So, in the end,
the hikers were freed
from the evil moose
who be-came dragon feed.
And this story's moral
(You always need one);
"Don't maul hikers
lest you'll be a dragon's num-nums"