A Lucid Cab Ride

A Story by Aditya Warrier

A married man, tired from his day's work gets into a cab and just dreams.

It was 11 pm. The stars surprisingly were visible in the polluted city of Mumbai. Grant Road was still abuzz with traffic, young lovers and w****s. It was the usual going for Aamchi Mumbai. This city never felt more alive than in the night. Hard music in the clubs, romantic walks alongside the chow patty beach, the waves crashing against the rocks. Serenity and Life were both in harmony.

Kaushik took his cab. He was famished. 13 hours of programming with just a 15 minute break wasn't just fair. It was virtual cannibalism. He hated his job. He told the driver where he wanted to go, sat back in the seat and closed his eyes hoping to sleep. That was the life of an average middle-class newly-wed man. He hated sucking up to business execs. So, he was left far behind and the suckers moved up.

A day in the life of a f*****g common man.

The cab came to a halt outside his modest bungalow. He had a car, but only used it for special occasions. Not that he was a miser. He just felt it was unnecessary when the company was paying for his cab (which was one of the very few good things his company ever did for him). He paid the driver who suddenly seemed to have a lot of facial hair which wasn't there when he got in the cab. He felt it was weird but ignored it as he was in a state of eternal exhaustion. He got out of the cab.

He walked up to the gate, rang the bell. Surprisingly, it was his mother who opened the door (Oh, great!). The devil’s sidekick is here. What is she here to brag about? How her younger son Kushal got promoted in his 'Investment Banking' firm? Again? Then, he sees his father, the devil himself. Now, that's weird. His father vowed never to put a foot inside his son's 'Modest' home. He hated how his son wasn't more like Kushal.

Kaushik was the rebel. Although, he did his engineering (which he hated), he went against his parents’ wishes and married a ‘middle-class’ girl, his college-sweetheart, Anamika. He had to get a mediocre job as a programmer in an IT firm to pay the bills.

Ghar Ghar Ki Kahani and all.

His wife came out of the Hall. Wearing a sari, just to impress his parents. BLEH! He came in. His father had a smirk on his face. A weirdly pleasant smirk, which didn't suit him. His mother looked happy, which definitely didn’t suit her. She came forward and gave him a hug. The last time was when he came first in the Chess Championship in the State. That was seven years ago. He backed off.

"What's the matter dear? Aren't you happy to see us?" his mother asks.

"Happy? Oh, I'm rejoicing! Can't you see? I've finally been subjected to some time by my parents who usually stick to my upper class little brother!" he replies.

"Now, now, son. Don't get so worked. We love you both the same", his mother says.

"Bullshit. What do you want?"

His father stepped forward, "Nothing. We want to give you some good news."

"Well, isn't that a first? And what might be this so called 'Good News' be?"

"A job. Now, I know that you love your job. But, Kushal is starting a new firm. He needs someone to assist his friend who's the Technical Director at the new firm", his father says.

"What? Assist my younger brother? So that your prodigal son can silently humiliate me at my supposed failures? And from you? You dare ask me that!" he ranted furiously.

"Hey, it isn't me who's living like a god damn lowlife in this small shanty!" his dad said.

“Shanty. Great. Why are you here then? Please leave before I do or say something that I might regret."

"Regret? Like what we do when it comes to you being our son?" his father grunted.

"We just came here to tell you this and maybe help your life in some or the other way", his mother said.

"And now you have. Please. Leave”, he motioned his hands towards the door.

They all stared at each other. Kaushik's wife was mute as she didn't want to come between these parent-child wars. The parents gave a slight sigh and then they left.

He stormed off into the backyard. He took out a cigarette, lit it up and puffed a smoke. He closed his eyes for a moment and felt the sensation inside him as his lungs expanded and contracted with the cancerous smoke going in and out.

He got out of his house to take a walk. After all, it was just a week since he rented this house. His work kept him so busy that he didn't have enough time to stroll around his neighborhood. He walked for about a mile when he saw something strange.

An abandoned bridge. Hmm.

He walked over to the bridge. He sees that there is a bridge going to...wait, where? It's all covered in fog. He looked over the edge and sees a dark and gloomy chasm that ended.....nowhere. “Now that's weird”, he thought to himself.

But it was rage. A cold rage boiling inside him. After all these years, he had done everything they'd asked for. Grades, College, a Job, the usual s**t that Indian parents tell their children to do. He just married the right girl which was the only thing her ever did for himself and the only thing he didn’t regret.

His rage blinded all logic. His parents, resented him. His wife, whom he loved very much, rarely stood by him when it came to confronting his parents due to fear.

He looked over that chasm and wondered what might be at the end of it. He was lost in a trance. In a minute or so, he somewhat regained his senses. He took out his phone, threw it away. He climbed up to the platform and just looked down. He wasn't sad. He wasn't angry. He was just looking for some peace. He was looking for a way out.

Without tear and without fear, he jumped.

He opened his eyes, startled by the nightmare. He tapped on the driver's shoulder to check. No beard. The driver threw a puzzled expression at him.

He went to the gate and rang the bell. No one answered. “Unusual”, he thought to himself. His wife usually stayed up late at night. Always, actually. She was one of the paranoid ones. He liked it most of the times, when she stayed up late and prepared some homemade food for him. He ate from the office canteen every day. But, he would always eat the food made by her just to keep her heart. Sadly, intimacy in their life was virtually nonexistent. Office, Eat, Sleep. Maybe watch TV with her. That was his life for now. A couple of times in a month would they make love and that was it. Sometimes, he wondered whether she was getting it from someone else. He brushed that thought off his mind. She was a good wife. A great one.

He felt inadequate.

He rang the bell again. Still no answer. He took out his key from inside the mailbox. He opens the door and goes to the dining room. The lights were off. Odd. He saw that there was food on the table. He didn't have dinner that night. He switched on the light and sat on the chair.

He took out a plate and grabbed a big spoonful of that amazing 'mutter-paneer' and a couple rotis. He finished one roti when he noticed a folded piece of paper kept under a vase. He opened it. It was a note.

Dear Husband,

I have loved you every single day since we met. I have always prided on having such a great husband. And you were always better than your a*s of a brother.

It's been three years. We haven't had any children. I know you want to make a life first. I understand. But a child is always the symbol of a happy marriage.

Are we happy my love? I'd like to think so. But I would've liked to know the truth.

I went to the gynecologist today. It was the worst day of my life. I came to know I can never be a mother. I'm sorry baby. I wanted to be a better wife. I really did. But I couldn't do anything. I had promised to stay beside you through thick and thin. I am breaking that promise. Please don’t hate me.

I have taken this decision because I feel you deserve better. I wish I could've been a better wife.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

Anamika

He stared at that note for a little over a minute. His wife left him? What did it mean? What did she do? He was confused.

"What do I do now?" he thought.

Their room.

He climbed up the stairs and towards their room. The door was locked from the inside. He felt an ominous feeling from the inside.

He kicked open the door after a few tries.

She was limp and was hanging from the ceiling fan. He slumped down on his knees and started sobbing silently without any tears. He couldn't go near her body. He didn't know why.

He was starting to become breathless. His vision, blurred. He started to choke. He had no idea what was happening to him.

His wife was gone. His parents despised him. His friends were living the dream. And he felt like a bloody failure.

He was getting a stroke. It was painful. But living without his wife was more painful. He decided to let go of the struggle and allow the pain to slowly take him. Maybe it was just for the best, he thought as his mind and body started to shut off. Pain was a distant memory. He half-expected to see his wife on the other side, if there ever was one.

He saw a blinding light flashing through his eyes as beads of sweat form on his face. The car barely passed the cab as the driver throws away some famous Hindi gaalis through the open window.

Another nightmare.

A dream inside a dream? He slowly moved his neck to look at his right and see whether Mr. Cobb was doing some real ‘Inception’ on him.

Nope. Just him and his beardless driver. Phew!

He reached his house, paid the fare, walked over to the entrance and rang the bell hoping his parents weren't there on the other end. He slapped his cheeks a couple of times, pinched himself. It was not a dream.

A while passed. He started to get worried. He repeatedly rang the bell. He was just beginning to walk towards the mailbox when the door opened. His wife was wearing her pajamas. Surprisingly she almost dozed off. Her hair almost looked like a bird’s nest. Her face was pale white.

She looked absolutely beautiful.

“I’m sorry baby. I must have dozed off”, his wife said in a sleepy tone. “I’ve kept some food on the table. I was waiting up for you. I made palak-paneer and I wanted to eat dinner together. I’m really hungry. Let’s eat”, she said with a cute smile on her face.

That was one of the few moments every man has in his life. The feeling of being one of the luckiest men in the world. It was wonderful.

She went in and got freshened up. After which, they sat at the table.

“So how was your day?” she asked as he put a mouthful of the roti and the paneer into her mouth.

“Maybe the dreams are trying to tell me something”, he thought while staring into space and completely ignoring what his wife said.

“Baby?’ Anamika called out to him.

“Huh? What?”

“Never mind”, she replied with a glum.

“Hey, tell me. Come on”, he told her.

“I just asked you how your day went. You looked lost. So I figured it was as usual.” She replied.

“No. As a matter of fact, it was great. I uhh, realized a lot of things today”, he answered.

“That’s good!” Anamika was happy when she finally started having a conversation after a long time.

It had been a long time since they had a normal conversation. She had loved him since college and could not imagine a life without him. In the recent months, with the pressure of work, he had started to become quieter and more tired. He hardly spent 2 full hours in a whole day with the exception of sleep. The conversation were becoming shorter. Intimacy was almost nonexistent. Sure, she was unsatisfied. But she understood. She understood his desire of becoming the man of the house. The desire of making a life of his own. Showing his parents that he isn't just a shadow of his younger brother. But, a man of his own virtue. She knew that if she was patient, things would turn out to be great.

She had moments when she could just let go and cheat on him. Or she could have just left him and married another guy who would give her time and what not. She was a very attractive woman. That wouldn't have been a problem for her. She never denied to herself that these thoughts didn't crop up in her mind. In fact, she sometimes thought that her husband was cheating on her. But, she threw those thoughts away as soon as they came up. She prided in herself to be a patient and trusty wife.

“Realized what?” she curiously asked her.

“Don’t worry. I’ll show you”, he said with a cheeky smile.

Anamika was puzzled. Sure, something had changed. A surprise? It certainly wasn't her birthday. Or maybe he thought it was. She let him be.

After dinner, she picked up their plates and went to kitchen to wash up and do the rest of the chores. She saw him eagerly going into the library. They had a study. He always loved books. He couldn't live without them. They were his second love. Maybe, first. She didn't care. But, today was something different.

He went to the library. He felt through the books. Some old, some new. He took out a book from the middle rack. It was ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’. He ran his palms over the pages. He took a whiff of the pages. The smell of old books was irresistible. This was the book that started it all. He put it back to its place with the rest of the six books. There were 187 books in the room. Each of which he personally went and bought.

He went back to the bedroom and locked the door. Anamika saw this. She found this weirder.

‘Why would he do that? Wonder what’s going on with him’, she thought to herself.

After all her chores, she walked over to the door of her bedroom. It was closed.

“Baby, you busy or something? Shall I come in?” she asked.

“I’m in the bathroom. It’s open”, he bellowed from the other side.

Anamika walked in. Her favorite, lavender scented candles. Roses on the bed. It felt like she was transported back to their honeymoon in Goa. The room looked beautiful.

She saw that there was something on the bed. She walked over to pick it up.

“Victoria’s Secret. Now, that's what I call class”, she muttered.

There was also a note on the bed. It read: “It’s been a while. And I had bought that 2 years ago. Hope it still fits."

She blushed like a to-be-married bride. She knew what was going to happen. It felt like something was about to start. A whole new chapter in their lives.

She walked over to the window and closed them along with the blinds. Anticipation and excitement filled her insides. She walked over and closed the door.

It was one of the best nights they had spent in a long time. Kaushik woke up at 7:40. It was a Friday. Which meant he had to go to work. He decided to skip it. He looked over to his beautiful wife who was sleeping like a baby. He got off his bed and went to the library. He sat on the chair, powered up his Mac Book and started writing. He didn’t stop till 9. He put down his Mac Book. It was a truly amazing day in his life.

At 9:30, he woke up his wife to serve her Coffee and her favorite ‘Peanut Butter Sandwich’ in bed. She was truly overjoyed.

“Morning baby!" she then sees the breakfast. She almost jumps in astonishment. "What is going on with you?” she laughed. “Are you okay or something?"

“Never been better”, he bends forward and gives her a kiss on the lips. “Freshen up. We’re going on a small vacation!”

“Wait! What? Why? What about work?” she asks in a confused state.

“Honey, when your husband says that you’re going on a vacation, you don’t ask questions. Hurry up! Chop Chop!!” he said as he exited the room.

Anamika finally got back the man she married. Excited. Sweet. Curious. Different. She didn't know what the reason of this overnight change was neither did she care. She could see that things would be better and resumed sipping her coffee and munching on her sandwich.

He finally knew what those nightmares … nay ... dreams meant. It was time to take charge of his own life. He switched on the TV. ‘Inception’ was on. He had a wide grin on his face as he sat back and watched the movie.

There were two things kept on the roughly made small wooden desk.

A manuscript for his dream novel. He had been writing it for the past two years. He was pretty confident it would be great.

The other was a resignation letter.