Beauty Endures

Beauty exists just need to look.

A lonely flower gazes upon the valley below.

Anticipating visitors to admire its iridescent glow.

Its delicate aroma so sweet in the air.

Yearning to captivate a visitors senses.

Enduringly it awaits as days slip by.

Even with great perseverance petals begin to fade.

Drooping  as days grow cold hinting fall is around

Petals descending to the frost covered ground.

Its strength almost spent as it tries one last time.

To gaze upon the valley below once more.

Never before has the world seen a flower frown.

The end is here as it collapses to the ground.

Spring will soon begin and a new flower will arise.

Don't let it succumb to the same fate.

The world contains such breathtaking beauty.

Though most don't take the time to look.

People of today are blind to true beauty.

They only need to lift up their head and look.

Reviews

[JKRyder]

Very story-like. I think if you shortened the sentences and added more to the emotion, it would strengthen it.

[My Broken Heart]

Thank You Very Much!!!!!!! I have a passion for music, as well as, I write and sing my own songs. Poetry is a brand new world for me, so your input helps me greatly. Your suggestion to shorten the sentences. Help me understand exactly what you mean. Do I need to break down one sentence into two? Such as line 3, "Its delicate aroma" "So sweet in the air" Thanks for helping out!!!!

[JKRyder]

In doing my own research on poetry it was suggested (I can't remember the specific reference, sorry) that making statements instead of sentences or by removing words like and, as, the, can strengthen the meaning or emotion. An example ... "Enduringly it awaits as days slip by" could be stronger as ... enduring it waits, days slip by. Does that make sense?

[My Broken Heart]

This is awesome!!!! Thank you for your creative input. It helps this ol hillbilly out more than you know. I have lost a lot of myself the last few years, so in hopes to bring back a bit of who I was, I turn to my deepest passion, before its gone too, Writing, reading, and music. Thank you a bunch, from a guy who had combined grades in grade school, because there were not enough in one grade to make a class. 4th and 5th grade combined was only 14 kids. "LOL" I will work on this poem and if you don't mind I could put the revised version here in the comments To see what you think. Thanks again

[JKRyder]

You are most welcome. Happy to help.

[TWIZTED]

Yes life raises its ugly head sometimes, and hurts us deep within. But You my friend have reassured me that over all the hidden beauty can and will prevail to make us find our will again. TY for that.

[My Broken Heart]

You are most welcome. Life involves an variety of extreme amounts of pain at times, and can break us down to the brink of no return. I find it helps to absorb all the good and beautiful things that surround us as I can. In hopes for a bit of happiness to counter all the pain.

[A hare off]

It sure seems that way often, just look around, there is so much beauty this world has to offer. I really enjoyed your poem, it carries a wonderful message.

[My Broken Heart]

Thank You Alot. I am glad you enjoyed it.... This is a beautiful world and I am so glad some take the time to look.