Lollie's Ballad

An "ode", of sorts, to those who have been bullied.

Lollie was a strange girl,

Quiet and reserved,

Clinging to life in a world

Which had never much loved her.

Her family shunned,

Her peers forgot

Her simple, lilting name.

By all was she hated,

By all was she shamed.

 

Tanks of greasy gasoline,

A paper box of flames.

Light one with a swift, smooth strike

Lie back,

Watch Hell burn.

 

Lollie was a strange girl

Who climbed up very high.

She turned herself into a bird

And fell from a perch in the sky.

Author's Note

Just in case you can't get the gist of the poem/it's obscure, it's about a girl named Lollie. She is constantly bullied by those around her. One day, she decides she's had enough. She sets her school on fire and, unable to cope with what she's done, climbs to the apex of a tower and jumps, plummeting to her death. And no, this is not based on anyone real. However, I'm sure that there are people out there who have gone through similar situations.

Reviews

[Umbra-Regina]

This piece has a very fluent flow. Lines I thought were particularly excellent were, "By all she was hated, By all she was shamed". That caught my eye before I began reading from the top. The more I read, the more momentum the poem gained. The last two lines were a brilliant way to end the poem. I liked how you compared Lollie to a bird, because it made the visual that much better. Overall, the topic was perfect because so many people can relate to it, and it's a growing issue.

[freewinter]

This is dark and beautiful, I adore it.

[Sky]

How often can the input of others poison our minds against the love of ourselves. A great depiction of one who has been driven to the edge by the point of view of others. How awful to forget that we are all deserving of love and when pushed to the edge from the shame of being simply who we are.
Great job!

[Tarry Franck]

Very deep - well written - great flow - wonderful read!

[Max_E_Stone]

Very powerful message. Your words and imagery were very deep. You should definitely make this mainstream. Awesome job

[Lina Grey]

Sad. Nice imagery, intriguing and abstract. Thank you.

[BLBrown]

I liked this. When reviewing poems I really look for the first few lines to pull me in, otherwise I tend to move on. Yours had me from the start. I was intrigued. I love abstract poetry - it let's me fly when I write in that way. Nice.

[Angelic Surrender]

This is a great poem. I like the story to it. You did a very good job :)

[eatmills]

I really enjoyed the limerick stylings of this and of course the storyline.

[Tenebrousoul]

Very poignant. I can relate! Great Job!