Let's Call It The Inevitable

Breath it in

to your lungs

hold it in

 

THIS WONT LAST LONG MY LOVE!!

 

Take it as it is justa crush- crush

(It's nothing more than that to me)

every kiss is justa brush- brush

(Make it fast so no one sees)

I love you is justa hush- hush

(words like that dont mean a thing)

passionate is every touch-touch

(You're the only one for me)

 

WHY DO I WANT YOU SO MUCH!

 

Heart beats pound faster

This is only leading to disaster

Still we play the game

you've grown to enjoy the same

We know it's all a lie

Forgotten

for tonight

you are mine

 

THIS WONT LAST LONG MY LOVE!!

 

Take it as it is justa crush- crush

(It nothing more then that to me)

every kiss is justa brush- brush

(Make it fast so no one sees)

I love you is justa hush- hush

(words like that dont mean a thing)

passionate is every touch-touch

(You're the only one for me)

 

WHY DO I WANT YOU SO MUCH!

 

Give it in

Give it up

He wont change

you're not enough

It's over

Don't try to savor

what didn't matter

 

AND NOW IT'S DON'T MY LOVE!!

 

Take it as it is justa-

justa crush

every kiss is justa-

justa brush

I love you is justa-

justa hush

passionate is every-

every touch

 

I REALLY SHOULD HATE YOU SO MUCH!!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is outstanding. I had to read the poem a few times. The flow and the repetition made this a great pleasure to read. It moved like music. Good poetry is music. I like the feel and the story in the words. Thank you.
Coyote

[Alex W]

This flows really well, I am presuming it's a song :-) If not, it should be!

Really like this, all goes together very well. The one thing i'll add is maybe make the first three lines another full verse? Iron out the spelling mistakes etc and you've got a great little poem/song. Very catchy.

80/100

[Looouise]

Is the title meant to say 'Inevitable'?

"It nothing more then" - It's & than instead of then

"passionite" - passionate

Your the - You're

its all a lie - it's

Then the first three mistakes again in the stanza after, "This Won't Last Long My Love"

It over - It's

AND NOW ITS DONT MY LOVE!! - This line doesn't quite sound right, and I'm not sure if it's because you've used a wrong word somewhere, or if it's because of the lack of punctuation to break it up to make it have some sense.

passionite - passionate

REALL - Really

I think this is quite a neat little thing going on up there. It sounds as if it is meant to be a song, so I'm just going to assume it is. I think you've written it quite well, and the language keeps the flow and the rhythm going. I think in those very first lines though you could not use the '...' at the end of the lines, that really does break up the flow of what it could have.

Also, I have a question. Was this inspired by other lyrics, that's just a question.

[We are young.]

This is amazing!!! Chan really, I love it. I love u!! XD very true as well, haha you think I write well, look at yours its... glorious!