Prayer of Demise

A very dark poem.

Angel, Angel, in disguise,

Save me from my own demise.

 

For if I shall die before I wake,

My weary soul is yours to take.

 

And if the wrath of God shall be,

Upon my sinful mind, then He

 

Shall strike me down right from the sky,

Until the Final Judgement's nigh.

Author's Note

Sorry about all the "shall's."

Reviews

[momo]

nice! im very impressed with this write! its whole style is awesome and you did so well with the subject very good!

[life in a ne/on tube]

@ music in the air: no, actually i wrote this last year.

[Graceful]

okay this is the 5th time i've read and i can't get over it! so well done! hey is this based on what we learned in rel. class?

[Graceful]

oh my gosh....I am speechless....that is so good. the ryming was amazing. And i'm not just saying that cause ure my best friend. I'm telling you the truth. listen to me for once. Freakin' amazing!

[nothing]

This was a good piece of work, and very well written. You used a great deal of shall, and it seemed to make me grin because (unknown reasons) I love that word. So, anyhow, I love the judgement day feel to it. Like how there doesn't seem to be enough time, so do what you will. This is great work. Keep it up.

Truly,
Sarah.

[PaperHearts]

Beautiful! :) Simple, yet full of depth and meaning. I really liked your wording in this piece, and thought that the arrangement of the words worked perfectly in creating the right tone and evoking the right sentiments for this poem. I loved the second stanza in particular, "For if I shall die before I wake,/My weary soul is yours to take." :) Great work,
~PaperHearts

[Aven]

hehe, it's okay to say shall... shall we agree upon that? ^.^ it has a very "judgement day" feel to it, just try to play around more with language... I believe you can do so much more when you stop thinking because it is a bit uptight but well written. :)