Maybe Standing Is Hard.

1/13/2012

Maybe I don’t have a song to sing to you, a melody so caressing,

Or a voice that sounds whole and sweet, a lullaby that seeps you into sleep.

And maybe I don’t have much at all to show for, much to make heads turn,

Or a life that’s worth it anymore, to battle through the bloody wars.

But I am having trouble standing on my own,

Something I haven’t felt in months on end, failure and manipulator.

And now I am having trouble keeping my head up above the icy water.

And now I’m slipping into the grave with the feelings that dies long ago.

There is a part of me that’s coming undone, unraveling itself far too quickly.

And it’s all my fault that I’ve come to this point, only to cower.

And maybe I don’t know what it means to keep fighting until you win,

Or what it means to be a breathtaking beauty, an angel,

Because I was never much to begin with other than suffering.

And I sit alone every day, in the corner of the shower, crying in solitude,

And I lie alone, every night, on the bed that’s old and painful to slip in,

Shedding tears that the ocean can never out number in silence.

Mending me is a hard task to do, and loving me is even more difficult.

Wanting me is like wanting to kill yourself,

And needing me is like loving the devil between the sheets.

So maybe I am no great loss in my head, though you say I am to you.

And maybe I am not that amazing as you made me out to be, though it’s what you see.

But I am having trouble standing on my own more than ever,

Because I don’t have hands to hold me in stability or to help me up out of the mud.

I only have these nimble fingers that I don’t trust because you’re so far away.

But I guess I can stand against this wall until you come,

And I guess I can hold myself to the cement behind my back until I have hands to hold.

So maybe I don’t have a song to sing to you, a melody so caressing,

Or a voice that sounds whole and sweet, a lullaby that seeps you into sleep.

But I have a few big words that are tearing me apart because you can’t hear my voice,

And I’ll say them either way, in life or death:

I love you, even if I am having trouble standing on my own.

Reviews

[Lilmissfit]

I really like this poem its very good, creative, and nice choice of words. It had meaning and a good one also :)