Completed.

A nightly thing.

Every blackened sky is drowning the light out,

And these eyes are burning with tiresome exhaustion.

There is a Cheshire grin in the sky, shedding little resolutions,

But these voices inside my head are whispering a revelation.

I stare at the white washed walls until I see a face.

 

Fiery amber eyes with red rimmed lids,

Ghostly pale sky of winter fades,

A skeleton body that shouts what I use to be.

She sneers to me my name I’ve given her,

Tells me we are one in the same.

 

My hands claw at my doll hair, yanking and pulling

As my arms tense in the muscle with anger.

Gut wrenching pain severs my insides and I curl up.

I cannot close these eyes and I cannot feel this body of mine.

This heart that beats is too fast.

 

At this rate, I will surely die of a massive heart-attack.

I gasp for oxygen as she wraps her arms around me,

Whispering that everything will be alright if I just let her in.

She whispers to me that we are loved,

I, her sensitivity, and she, my blood and heart;

 

Loved by one and all to be the light and the conclusion to harrowing.

She runs her fingers to my head, tapping my temples.

‘Let me in,’ she hisses like cats. ‘Let me be one…whole once more.’

I shake in my hands, eyes wide, blood running cold.

I choke in my mouth for the words to say.

 

If I let her in, I will mutilate this body with more disgusting scars,

I will fall into dismay and never be the same.

So I’ve been sleeping with these silent roommates.

And all I see scares me, and no one knows it, but he�"He saved me.

I shove her way, and push my way to the bathroom mirror.

 

I look at the girl I see, and she’s crying.

Those eyes of fiery amber orbs and red rimmed lids.

That skin of ghostly pale and the body of a dying soul.

She touches my hand as I place it to the reflection.

 

She whispers with my voice that I will be fine.

It’s just another episode.  I will be fine.

And if I can become her once more, or let her in,

I will fade into a grave six foot deep and never be saved again.

I will be a sick green corpse with worms eating into my brain.

 

I will be alone in a cold metal box, away from the one who saved me so.

And I will close these eyes forever, to never wake up.

I crawl back to my bed, and curl under the covers.

I pull them over my head, and let the cement rip me into sleep.

It’s painful to dream, and sickening to feel the touch.

 

But it’s a great comfort to see the face I use to know.

And it’s a great sense when Savior likes the face he sees.

It’s amazing when she and I are one and he likes this new being.

And life is just fine when I open my eyes to the gloomy morning,

And smile as Saviors face filters through with the complete Me.

Reviews

[Harmonica winds]

powerful, personal write. Like this so much because it's emotional.

[screamin'ian]

This has a calm feeling to it, despite all the anxiety in the beginning. It is a comfort to be recognized "as you truly are," and accepted, even liked, and more, loved. It's great the way you relate that it all happens within your self.
I like the way you express it honestly and with so much passion.