Life Lessons.

Life lessons are always haunting in the back of my mind,

And the ones who laugh in the end are the brilliant of them all.

But the fact remains that I am misunderstood,

A raging war of all that is cynical.

I grab the closest people to me and let them throw me away.

I reach back for them and they shout a bold “No!”

I fall to my knees as I did at the age of thirteen

Collapse into despair and hurt, yet I still manage to love them so.

The world is a cruel place, so I have learned, but the most vile spot

Is the spot inside my head, that lump of a brain that makes me think.

That cold piece of muscle that screeches when it’s at work.

And all I can do is stare into the night

Stare up at the vent in my room, and wait in frozen fear as they come for me.

Out of the walls they creep and hover above me.

But tonight I will smile at them, and show them a kind opening.

I will let this world rule no more, for the one inside my head is more powerful than you know.

And the girl on the outside slips into a sleep, a deep nightmare that is Life.

My lessons wash away and I repeat what I am programmed to do.

I will no longer let them see what is happening.

I will shut down, and go into hibernation.

I am an animal on the inside, a beast, a demon when I show it on the outside.

Do not worry, children, parents , and the world, for little miss me is vanishing.

This is okay, I was never a big asset to this world either way.

But just so you know, I still can love.

Even death I can love.  For isn’t that what I want?  Though deep down I fear?

I’ve made promises and kept my end of the deal though you all remain to break yours.

If this world will let me be…The life lessons will no longer haunt my being.