Shut Up and Listen.

Just my thoughts. Just my beliefs. Just my reality.

I have a new hope, and maybe you all will listen.  Maybe you will understand just a little.  Oh, and if you’re reading this “Family” be prepared to become filled with anger because I’ll give you the full truth, of me, of my thoughts, of my views and decision, and the world.

 

Girl Named Mom: You’re amazing, but no matter, you’re you.  You control only you, and if you want to control me, and take a leak on my heart, go right ahead.  I will not stop you.  But maybe my words will let you know that you can put restrictions on me, you can pull me out of public school, and you can yell and scream all you want, but you will never change me.  You are just Mom, just my mom, a friend who, at the moment, wants to strangle me.  But stop wasting your breath, your precious energy, time, and efforts all to change me.  You can stop taking me to see Loud Mouth, and you can stop providing for me.  Let me fend for myself.  Do not let me rely on you no more.  You do not need a burden like me.  You do not need the stress of me.  And stop taking responsibility of my actions.  I made them, not you.  I did this, let me fix this.  I don’t care about the age difference, but do care about ending it right.  So let me.

 

Boy Named Dad: I love you as much as I love Mom, but the same thing goes.  You call me these wonderful names, but you take them back when I hurt you.  Just stick to one side.  Am I Good or Bad?  Am I Daughter or Enemy?  Am I a pressure you do not need?  Yes.  Do I cause you pain? Yes.  But do I do this on purpose? AS IF.  I just do what I do.  And NOT for attention.  Not for anyone but me.  Love you, too.  Just stop worrying.  I’ll be fine soon enough, and out of your hair.

 

Girl Named Twin:  Stop blaming me!  I know our bond was strong and I ruined it, but you have to know that it can be mended.  You need to know that no matter what, I will always be Miss Negative to you and this family, but I just want you to know this:  That strong bond?  You may not feel the pulling I feel, or the severing, or the chunks flying out.  You may not see it either.  But just wait.  I know you’re tired.  Impatient and giving up.  I can’t change that.  But just know that I am always your sister, your other half.  So enjoy it while you can.  Enjoy it to the full.  And if you choose not to, then fine.  Hugs.

 

Boy Named Older:  View me what you will: Sister or not.  We’re still blood related.  I do dumb stuff too.  I am arrogant just like you.  Just like every teenager.  Makes me any different?  No.  But I laugh that you need proof over words.  You think it’s all in my head just like Mom does, Dad does, Sis does.  You all think it’s all in my head.  Maybe you’re right.  Maybe you’re not.  You never know.  Still love you no matter the view.

 

Boy Named Younger:  Intentional?  Maybe.  Accident?  Who knows.  I know this though:  Deep beneath the hard front you put up, and the harsh words you utter, I still love you, and you still love me.  Though you’re angry almost every single day, and though you’re the baby of the family, you’re just a brother, a friend to me.  Nothing more, nothing less.  You’re no different than the others of this family.

 

Something for you all:  You all have raised me to be who I am, but overall, I have made me, Me.  If you do not like this Me, then there is nothing I can do to change that.  Adjust.  Find something you do like.  But I will not change for you, for God, for anyone.  Sigh all you want.  Beat me with looks and words like normal.  Hit me with love and wishes.  No matter what, only I can accept these beatings.  No matter what, I am the only one in control.  Stop and think about it: You only have one life.  Religion aside, if you had a choice, to waste your breath on one person out of this family, would you?  Or would you tend to yourself first?  Think long and hard about what you’re doing.  And tend to yourself first.  I can handle my own.  I can do this.  The past has nothing to do with this.  Only the here and now.  When you’ve made up your mind, let me know.  Until then, you are just trying to control me.  Until then, you are just wasting your life on someone who is just like everyone else: A person with a rotten mind.  And until then, think about yourself, and take control of only you, NOT ME.

Author's Note

Sorry.

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

Strength to you for speaking your mind! This piece shows that no matter what the ripples and waves in life may bring, you're going to stand on your own principals. That's a wonderful thing.

Aaron