The Unstable.

These things calmed me.
Once or twice before.
The rain hits the window now.
I want to go outside.
My numb head says better,
That I should go to sleep.
I've not rested since 6 o'clock yesterday morning.
I have not faired well since.
Now she worries, stayed up late for me.
And I beg her she rests, she let go,
And find what kept her at ease.
Those things calmed.
Only once before.
And the rain is light against my skin.
I miss my love and pride.
I swallowed it long ago,
Choked as it went down.
What keeps me on edge?