At the Foot of the Mountain

    Far away from Edinburgh was a man who had never heard of Colin Shaw, nor had he ever even been to the UK.  This man was member of the new European Parliament and was currently sitting in his office in Brussels, working on something probably important.
    His office was large and opulent but still managed to remain tasteful.  On the morning of the 25th of April, he just planned to sit at his desk working on a new proposal for Parliament to consider, while at the same time waiting for a greatly anticipated phone call.  When the phone did finally get around to ringing, the man immediately put his papers to one side and answered it.
    “Yes?”
    “Hello sir.”
    “Tell me what you know.”
    “I just thought you might like to know before it was announced.”
    “So you mean…it was a success?”
    “That’s correct sir.  The votes have just been counted, the motion passed.  The UK will now become part of the European Union, the King will be announcing his abdication within the hour and place control of the country in the hands of the European Parliament.”
    “Excellent.  So everything went perfectly to plan?  Nothing I need to worry about?”
    “Everything is good.  That militant Scottish group we aided in attaining weapons provided a perfect war for us.  It made the British realise that their country is falling apart under their own government and provided a strong sway in supporting joining the Union.”
    “Great, it’s all for a good cause.  The Union is now whole, the last wayward child of Europe has returned to its family.  Do you know that we’re setting an example to the rest of the world?  Have you heard what’s happening in America?”
    “No sir.  What?”
    “The United States and Canada are strongly thinking about joining up as one country, with the same laws and policies across both lands.  It’s begun, we’ve set up a ripple effect all over the planet.  I hear talk on every continent to do with Unification.  We just need to focus on keeping our Union whole, then other continents may soon follow our lead.  Who knows where it could end?  I look forward to the day when we are all one people, without nations dividing us.”
    “As do I sir.”
    “Do you know what’s going to happen to the British military forces?”
    “They’re going to be disbanded sir, just like the others.”
    “What about the equipment?  Is it going to be auctioned off to private companies as with the other countries, with the profit going to benefit the Union?”
    “Actually it’s already been all bought up by just one company.”
    “How could that be?  The UK joining the New Union hasn’t even been announced yet.”
    “Well, this company had prior knowledge of what was about to occur, they acted quickly, sir.”
    “How could they have prior knowledge?  Only you and I know about the plot in Scotland.  I’ve even kept it secret from the rest of Parliament.”
    “Why did you do that sir?  I thought this was sanctioned by Parliament.”
    “War mongering?  Are you serious?  Of course they don’t know.  I knew the UK was highly unlikely to join the New European Union without some convincing and Parliament would never agree.  Now everyone’s happy, the Union is complete and no one else in Parliament has the burden of knowing how this really came about.  Now stop stalling, how did this company know beforehand about the UK being absorbed by the New Union?”
    “That’s because it was the same company I used to supply the Scottish militants with weapons.  I had to let them in on the plan to get them to cooperate.”
    “Oh.  You used a British company, didn’t you?  I always thought that to be a mistake.”
    “Don’t mistrust the company.  They were neutral in this conflict, not government controlled.  Besides, everything turned out as planned and they were very cooperative after I told them what we were doing.”
    “Well, I suppose they also got first chance at buying up the British military hardware.  Wait!  They didn’t get hold of the nuclear weapons, did they?”
    “No.  European officials have already started moving to seize them.  They will soon be in possession of the Union, just like the rest.”
    “Good work.  Officials are on their way?  That must mean that the other members of Parliament know about the result of the vote.”
    “I imagine their sources are informing them, also.”
    “I’m glad everyone is acting so quickly, it makes the transition so much easier.  By the way, I forgot, which company was it you used?”
    “It was a London based pharmaceutical company that arose in the aftermath of the credit crunch to replace some of the companies that fell.”
    “A drugs company?  You got the guns we needed from a drug company?”
    “They were the cheapest I could find.  In fact, they didn’t charge me at all.”
    “What?  Why not?  Surely they would’ve taken a massive loss.”
    “I suppose so.  All they asked for was some kind of guarantee that we would do business with them in the future.  They want us to think of them whenever we need something from a company.  The drugs business is just a front, they are involved in a lot of questionable business.  Weapons development and arms dealing to name just a couple.  They even invented the new Cerberus tanks, which have been bought my many governments, including both the European Union and the British government.”
    “That seems reasonable.  What’s the name of this company?”
    “Olympus Pharmaceuticals.”
    “OK,” he said as he reclined in his comfortable chair.  This man took in a couple of relaxing breaths that he deemed himself to have earned.
    “Have you ever wondered what you’d be like if you were born in a different time?” the European MP asked dreamily.  “I know it’s impossible to tell if you would’ve thought of any of the inventions that are already around today.  I think it wouldn’t have been too difficult to discover gravity.  It just seems so obvious.  But I’ll tell you one thing.  I can honestly say that I would’ve never thought of the umbrella.  I would’ve spent my entire life soaked without it ever crossing my mind.”
    “Err…sir?” the voice over the phone sounded confused.
    “Oh sorry about that.  I was just allowing my mind to wander for a second.”
    “Is there anything more you need?”
    “Actually yes.  I do have something else I may need your help with.”
    “Yes sir?”
    “I’ve been working on a new set of motions for Parliament to consider in preparation for a fully united Union.  I need your help in ‘convincing’ some members of Parliament who might be reluctant to sign off on it.”
    “What kind of motions?”
    “Well there are a number of small matters contained.  One of my more controversial ideas is to legalise all the currently prohibited narcotics.  I think it will cause fewer problems for the New Union in the long term if we regulate it ourselves rather than letting the criminals get rich off selling the drugs.  It’ll also be safer for citizens because we can synthesise cleaner versions.  Maybe that pharmaceutical company that helped us out this time could be in charge of this?  I also want to introduce a new continental-wide law for a complete ban on private citizens owning firearms.”
    “Sounds good.”
    “The greater good.”
    “What about companies like Olympus?  They’ve purchased the military gear of the former nations, including all the guns.”
    “I think we can look leniently over these companies.  They’re not exactly civilians or government, they’re somewhere in between.  We’ll just use discretion, turning a blind eye to companies that have proven themselves useful to us, like the Olympus Corporation.”
    “They’re called Olympus Pharmaceuticals, sir.”
    “Whatever.”