War of Wills

In an English class, which had already begun, Ash and Liz strolled in to have Miss Storry say, "Late," at them.

"Sorry," Liz said.

"Ashley," Miss Storry said.

"Yes?" Ash said.

"You're wearing that hat again."

"Thank you for noticing," he said and gave her a little curtsey.

"I’m not complimenting you, I’m pointing out a mistake.  It’s not part of the uniform, take it off."

"But I like it."

"I don’t care, you’ve worn it every time I’ve seen you and I’m sick of it.  What are you hiding under there?"

She removed his black cat-eared hat and was so shocked by what she saw underneath that her face became a frozen mask of disbelief as she was stunned speechless.

Under his hat, Ash had a real set of cat ears, the same colour as his long hair, protruding from the top of his head.  He cocked his head sideways as if to ask what was wrong.

Very slowly, Miss Storry lowered the hat back onto his head and simply said, "Sit down."

"OK," he responded.

Ash and Liz went to take their seats, walking past Natasha as they did so.

"Hey Natasha," Liz tried to sound casual as they walked behind her, but Natasha simply remained focussed on her schoolbook.

The pair sat down together and Liz whispered to Ash, "She certainly is a worthy foe in this war of wills."

"You're a sick person," Ash said.  "Get help."

"Stop speaking," Miss Storry said.  "Now, I forgot the box of books in the staff room.  Josh, can you go get them please?"

"No," Josh said.

"I know it was phrased like a question but it really wasn't," Miss Storry said.  They locked gazes for a while before she said, "Go."

Josh slowly got to his feet and left the room.

"Miss?" Liz said.  "What do you think you're doing?"

"What do you mean?" she said.

"Don't piss off Josh," Liz laughed.  "Everyone's afraid of him...even most of the teachers."

"Well I'm not."

"You should be.  It's best to just leave him be.  He doesn't play well with others."

Josh reappeared with the box of books, set it down on a table, smiled at his teacher and returned to his seat.

***

After English, Ash and Liz were walking down the corridor when Josh and Seth caught up with them.

"Hey Ash?" Josh said.

"Hello Josh," he said.

"Can I ask you about those ears?"

"Which ones?" Liz said.

"The cat ones," Josh clarified.

"What better way to hide the fact that you have cat ears than by always wearing a hat that has cat ears on them?" Ash said.  "No one would ever suspect you."

"Can I see them?" Josh said.

"Sure," said Ash, removing his hat, allowing Josh to marvel at them.

He was permitted to stare in fascination at them for as long as Ash and Liz could bear before bursting into laughter.

"They're not real you dumbass," Liz said.

"Huh?" Josh said.

Ash unattached one of the ears to show that there was a metal clip underneath.  "They're just clip-ons that match the colour of my hair you idiot," he said.

Ash and Liz then left them behind while laughing like hyenas.

"What a jackass," Liz called out.

"That was my favourite moment of the day," Ash said.

Josh glared at the doors they had just walked through as Seth let out a brief splutter of laugher, before stifling it in time as Josh turned to him angrily.

"What?" Josh demanded.

Seth merely shook his head and wandered past him.

***

Later on in the commonroom, Josh and Seth sat together, Josh reading a newspaper while Seth read his book.

James entered, accompanied by Ash and Liz and the three sat down together opposite them.

"Hey Josh?" James said.

"What?" he replied.

"Ash and Liz just told me a funny story about you."

"What of it?" Josh glared at him.

"Nothing, I thought it was an easy mistake to make.  I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve seen humans with cat ears.  They’re really out there so I can understand the confusion."

"Shut it."

Ash and Liz were both grinning widely and even James was laughing.

"It’s good to see you happy James," Liz said.

"One more victory for the Brigade," Ash said.  "You can join if you like, James."

"No thanks," he said.  "I don’t have the time."

"You know, I gave him that hat," Liz said.  "It was a gift from years ago.  He loved it so much that he insisted on giving me something in return right away."

"Something right away?" Josh said.  "What was it?"

Liz produced a well-folded piece of paper from her blazer and showed it to the group.

"That handwriting is terrible," James said.  "What does it say?

"He wrote it in a rush," Liz said.  "It’s a contract."

"I’m glad you still have that," Ash said.  "I was worried you wouldn’t take it seriously."

"Oh no I did," Liz said.  "It’s a contract that states that its bearer will have the power to command Ashley Parkinson to sacrifice his life whenever they wish."

"Pardon me?" Josh said.

"That’s pretty morbid." James said.

"It’s supposed to be used in a life or death situation where only one person can survive," Ash said.  "It’s a useful contract, that thing."

"So if she said so now, you’d immediately suicide?" Josh said.

"Absolutely," Ash said.

"You know what really scares me…?" James said.  "I believe you."

Ash smiled eerily before spotting Jane walk past them.

"Liz?" he said.

"Got a new idea?" she asked.

"Just come with me."

***

In the I.T. lab, Ash was typing at a computer while Liz rested her hands on his shoulders to look at what he was writing.  Liz read what was currently on the monitor and started to laugh.

"This one is too far," she said.  "There's no way she'll believe this."

"Are you kidding me?  She’s so straight-laced she’ll do anything a teacher asks, especially if the one who calls her out is her."

"Even if she goes initially, if you really plant the extra signs as you say, she’ll realise it’s us and stop halfway through."

"Contest?" Ash said, looking suggestively at Liz.  "...And print," he said before clicking the mouse.

***

Mr. Blunt opened the register in his busy form room and read a notice contained within.  It said, 'Lee, could you please give this envelope to Jane Taylor in your class? Ms. Gracey’.

When Jane entered the crowded room, Mr. Blunt looked up and said, "Ahh, Jane?"

"Yes?" she replied.

"This is for you," Mr. Blunt said, handing her the envelope.  "It's from Ms. Gracey."

"Ms. Gracey?" she repeated, suddenly looking up at him.

She hastily tore the envelope open and read the letter inside.  It said, 'Jane, please come see me immediately at the teacher's common room.  We need to discuss the many complaints of sexually inappropriate behaviour by fellow students’.

Jane looked in horror at this request.

***

Jane approached the door to the staff room to see a piece of paper stuck to the door.  It read, 'Very sorry for this Jane, but I suddenly needed to go to the bathroom so come to the female staff toilet, Ms. Gracey’.

She took the notice down and stared at it anxiously.

***

Jane was about to enter the staff toilet when she noticed a message scribbled on the door in felt tip.  The message was, 'Again, I’m very sorry but they were out of paper so I’ve headed to the I.T. lab for some printer sheets’.

Jane looked at the message with a mixture of confusion and disgust.

***

Down in the courtyard, Jane hastily made her way towards the building containing the I.T. department, unaware that she was being watched by two figures on one of the rooftops.

"I don’t believe it," Liz said.  "She’s actually following them."

"I told you," Ash said.  "No one would dare disobey our fearsome and powerful Headmistress."

"D****t, I’m gonna lose and it’s all because of her gullibility."

"Yep, now come on, we’ve gotta place the final one."

***

Jane arrived slightly out of breath at the door to the I.T. lab, where she found a sheet of A4 printer paper sellotaped to the door with new instructions written on it.

It read, 'I really am very sorry but I had to run out to my car to get something.  This is the last one, I promise’.

Jane sighed and took the message.

***

In the school car park, Ash placed a folded piece of paper underneath the windscreen wiper of Ms. Gracey's car.

"Hurry up," Liz said.  "We've still gotta get to a good place to watch."

"Alright, let's go," Ash said before they scuttled away together.

***

Mr. Foster sat at the desk of a ground floor classroom while year 7 studetents quietly read all around him when Ash and Liz destroyed the silence by bursting into the room.

"What are you two doing here?" Mr. Foster said.

"Oh, sorry sir," Ash said.  "We just need to borrow this classroom for a bit to witness something wonderful.  Wait a minute, what are you doing here?"

"Mr. Jones is ill so I’m looking after his class."

"Oh OK, you won’t know we’re here."

Ash and Liz ran to the back of the classroom and sat on the windowsill in order to witness what was about to occur in the car park.

Jane wandered through the car park to Ms. Gracey's reserved space.  She looked around expectantly before spotting the paper underneath the windscreen wiper.

She took the note, unfolded it and read, 'Now is the time to let you know that I didn’t really want to meet with a pervert of your level of deviancy so I just sent you on a nice long walk in hope of the exercise helping with your perversions'.

Jane stared incredulously at the piece of paper within her hands.

Back in the classroom, Ash and Liz were laughing uncontrollably at this sight.

"I can’t believe it," Liz gasped.  "Look at her expression.  That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen."

"Even I had my doubts that she’d go all the way to the end," Ash said.

"No, fair's fair, you win."

An irritated Mr. Foster now approached them and said, "I'm starting to know you're here."

"I'm sorry sir but look through the window, it' so funny," Liz said.

Mr.Foster did so and remarked, "All I can see is Jane looking pissed and staring at us."

"Huh?" said Liz, who turned back to the window to see Jane looking over at them with an expression of intense fury.  She let the wind take the paper from her grasp before charging their way.

"Oh she sees us," Ash said unhelpfully.

"Run!" Liz said.

"Where?"

"Anywhere!"

Jane came running through the door before they could use it to escape.  "Can I talk with you?" Jane asked.

"The window," Ash said.

Ash and Liz climbed through the window and started to run with Jane following as fast as she could.

Once all distractions were gone, Mr. Foster just shook his head and tried to pretend that the last few minutes of weirdness had never happened.

"Back to reading," he said to the class.

***

Jane furiously charged after the pair through the car park, the chase taking them all over school.  Ash occasionally shot a glance back to their pursuer as they rushed in between the various buildings.

A class' decision to leave a window open meant they could hear Ash cry out, "We were only having some fun," as the three ran past the room.

The chase eventually led inside the empty commonroom where Liz and Ash hopped over a set of chairs, before stopping.  For some reason, Jane also stopped and then stooped over, gasping for air.

"Wait," Liz said.  "Why are we running?"

"Because she's chasing us," Ash said.

"Why are you chasing us?" Liz said.

"Because you're running," Jane said.

"I think everyone needs to calm down here," Liz said.

"Yeah, we were just fulfilling our Happiness Brigade duties," Ash said.

"How was that supposed to make me happy?" Jane said.

"OK, we admit it.  That one was mostly for us," Ash said.

"Just leave me alone d****t, I’m supposed to have a lesson right now," Jane said.

"I’ll tell you what," Ash said.  "We’ll leave you alone."

"You will?" Jane said.

"Why?" Liz said.

"That’s right," Ash said.  "All you have to do is join us and we’ll never do something like this ever again."

"There’s no way I’m wasting anymore time with you," Jane said.

"What you got to lose?" Ash said.  "We’re gonna be on study leave soon, there it ends coz we’ll be revising too.  Just help us out with one thing and that’ll be that."

***

Liz was sleeping peacefully with her back to a tree in a shaded area of the field when Ash approached from an overgrown patch and shook her awake.

"Liz?" he said.

"What?" Liz groaned.  "What is it?  Why do you hate me sleeping?"

"Come with me," he urged, before dragging her into the undergrowth.  "Look what I found," he said, pointing to the ground.

"What?  I can't see anything."

Ash crouched down, Liz copied him as he pointed to a certain small plant.

"It's a four-leaf clover," he said.

"Huh, that's actually pretty interesting."

"I didn’t think they really existed.  I’m so happy.  I’ve been looking for one of these since I was a child."

"Why's that?"

"Just coz they're hard to find," Ash said, leaning to pick it up before Liz took hold of his wrist.

"Wait," she said.

"What for?"

"You don't believe in it, do you?"

"Of course not."

"Exactly," Liz said.  "Don’t pick it up, because the luck doesn’t work unless you believe in it.  If you don’t believe in it, all you’re doing is ripping a rare plant out of the Earth."  Liz then stood up and said, "Come on, let's go to the commonroom."

Ash stood up with her, smiled and nodded in agreement.  They walked away, leaving the clover untouched.