Seeking Normality

The strange lengths humans will go to for their friends

Normality is never beyond a human’s grasp.

It is not boredom; in fact it may need the inspiration of something extraordinary to bring about this state of contentment that every person deserves.  The condition of happiness does not necessarily go hand in hand with life, it requires as much effort as you can bear and in most cases, the combined effort of those closest to you.  You just need to hope you have someone like that.

Even if you give it your all, there is no guarantee of success; it is actually extremely rare for most individuals.  The reason why we force ourselves to make the effort is simply because there has never been a single human mind in history that has thought, ‘It isn’t worth it’.

Two minds on Earth who were not currently thinking about this (seriously, not even a little bit) were those of Greg and Andy, who were much too preoccupied by their present task.  Their car was presently travelling at high speed down a country road.

“Where next?” Andy hastily asked from the driver’s seat.

“Second right,” Greg instantly responded as he played with the Satnav, before turning to the camera mounted on the window to his left, recording their every action.  “What my skilled driver fails to realise is that he could simply get the Satnav to tell him himself rather than roping me in to be his own personal helper.”

“I don’t like the Satnav voice,” Andy explained.  “It freaks me out.”

“There are other voices you can choose, you know?”

“It’s not about the voice, it’s the fact that it doesn’t come from a human.  I don’t want a computer to tell me what to do.  You start following its orders and it’s not too long before they’re in charge.”

“What?” Greg laughed.  “It’s not telling you what to do.  It’s a tool, it merely suggests.”

“Well, I don’t like the tone it ‘suggests’ with.”

Greg could barely hold back his tears as he laughed more at Andy.  He turned to speak to the camera again as if it would make more sense than his friend.  “I’m sure it’s funny for all you people watching at home, all the strange things this boy comes up with but for the person in the car he’s driving, it can be quite worrying.”

“Hey, If I said to you the word ‘on-autumn’, what would you think I was referring to?”

“That’s not a word, you’re just putting two random English words together and then forcing me to think about it, just so you can watch me struggle and gain some kind of sadistic pleasure.”

“Don’t have any ideas?  I’ll tell you.  It’s a word that means your parents.”

“Please explain.”

“Because it’s the opposite of offspring.”

Greg turned to the camera with a look of obvious pain as a result of the bad joke, but a small smile couldn’t help but form from his reluctant lips.  “Can you believe this guy?”  Greg turned back to Andy.  “Please just focus on driving, there’s gonna be a sharp turn on the left that’ll take us right there.”

“Ha, Phoebe’s got no chance.”

“Yep, boys rule.”

Their car turned quickly at high speed and continued along this new lane.

“Is that a rabbit?” Greg asked.

“Where?”

“Over there.”

As Andy drifted the car in the direction indicated to get a better look, a grey rabbit that was previously crouching by the side of the road hopped out slightly in its first step at crossing.

“Don’t drive towards it!” Greg said.

“Oh no,” Andy said as he turned the wheel, narrowly missing the frightened rabbit.

“What the hell was that about?” Greg said.

“I just wanted a better look.”

Greg turned back to the camera with an expression of nervous embarrassment.  “That bit will probably have to be edited out later, don’t want to risk people writing in to complain about our animal cruelty.”

“That won’t happen, we didn’t hurt him.”

“You scared him though, most people would consider that cruel.  I want to win the race as much as you but just calm down a bit, eh?”

“We can’t let Phoebe win this one.”

“What’s the score at?”

“I don’t know, but she’s definitely winning.  We’ve lost the last three events.”

The car slowed down before turning into the car park of a large building out in the middle of nowhere.

“This really the place?” Greg asked.

“Must be, there isn’t another building around here.”

“What exactly is it?  A restaurant?  Why’d they build it all the way out here?”

“I think it’s an inn.”

As the pair exited the car, a van pulled up behind them, from which a camera crew and their director got out and began filming the two young men.

“Err…Greg?”

“What?”

“I don’t want to disappoint you but…”, Andy said as he pointed to Phoebe’s car behind him.

“How the hell could she…?”

“Come on, let’s get this over with.”

As Andy and Greg entered the nearly empty inn with a cameraman following to capture every moment, they saw Phoebe sitting in a corner while enjoying a meal with her own cameraman nearby.

“You are a complete…”  Andy began.

“…Winner?” Phoebe interrupted with a look of smug satisfaction that can only be attained by beating your friends at something.

Greg laughed and joined Phoebe at her table under the gaze of the barman who seemed to be the only other person here.

“I can’t believe you guys are here as well,” the barman said.

“This nice man who made my food is called John and the two nice gentlemen who will be paying for it are gonna be you two,” Phoebe said.

Andy begrudging went over and shook John’s hand while Greg offered him a wave.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Andy and that’s Greg.”

“I know you guys,” John said.  “You three are the ones off that program.”

“Yeah that’s us,” Andy said.

“You always make each other do those ridiculous competitions, what exactly was this one?”

“A race across the country to some inn in the middle of nowhere.”

“That’s pretty normal for you guys,” John said.  “I remember seeing one where you had a contest over who could be a better animal trainer for a marine show, that one was hilarious.  Even though you two lads always team up, that lass over there always wins, doesn’t she?”

“Yes, thank you,” Andy said dryly as Phoebe's laughter provided the background noise to their humiliation.  “You don’t need to remind us, we were there at all of them.”

Andy walked over to their table and sat down in a sulk.

“Cheer up Andy,” Greg said.  “We’ll do better next time.”

“No you won’t,” Phoebe ‘reassured’ them.  “I love it how wherever we go now, everyone recognises you two as the losers.  I’m getting kinda sick of being by myself though, can I go with Greg next time and you be on your own?”

“If you wish,” Andy said.

“Let’s cut it there,” the director said.  “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

As the camera crew left, John wandered over to their table and sat down.

“Your friend here’s already booked you rooms,” he said.

“Which you’ll be paying for also,” Phoebe helpfully pointed out.

“Where’s your bathroom?” Greg asked.

“Just down that hallway and on your right,” John said.

“Good,” Greg said as he got up.  “I’ve been dying to go for a while but I didn’t want to stop so we could win.”

“So frustrating to suffer all for nothing,” Phoebe called after him as he left down the corridor.

“You guys seem to have the best job ever,” John said.  “You just go all over the world, come up with fun things to do and then do them, how’d you get so lucky?”

“Yeah it’s pretty good,” Andy said.  “We started to go on holidays during Uni. like this, where we came up with crazy contests where we can just have fun.  Then we started filming them ourselves and putting them online.  Our present company liked them and we got a contract to make our own program.”

“How do you come up with the ideas?” John said.

“It’s difficult to say,” Andy said.  “We just work hard coz we gotta keep coming up with them.”

“To keep you employed right?” John said.

“No…” Andy said.  “…Well, that too.  But we gotta keep doing it for Greg's sake.”

“What do you mean?” John asked.

“We’ve all been friends since school,” Phoebe said.  “And since then, Greg has always had a problem with depression.  There’s been no real reason…it’s just how he’s wired.  So we keep him occupied with our games and adventures to make him happy…and us too I guess.”

“If your life is the same everyday and you’re not doing anything you’re enjoying, then that would even make a normal person start to question the purpose of their lives,” Andy said.

“If we never stop…” Phoebe said.  “If everyday there’s a new purpose…then he will never sink back into his depression, he won’t have time to.”

“That sounds like a lot of effort for your friend’s sake,” John said.

“Of course it is…” Andy said.  “…But we don’t mind.”

“Why?” John asked.

Andy and Phoebe looked at each other as if they didn’t understand the question.

“It’s because he’s our friend,” Phoebe said.  “And we love him.”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Andy said.

“But are you sure you’re doing what’s best for him?” John said.

“We’re spending time with our friend and we’re all happy,” Phoebe said.  “What’s wrong with that?”

“He might be happy in the short term but that can’t last forever,” John said.  “What happens when you run out of ideas?  What happens when the show ends and you need to get real jobs to make money?  You won’t have the time to take care of your friend and he’ll be back where he started.  This all sounds like a stall, in order to really help him you need to get him some professional help.”

“He’s had that before,” Phoebe said.  “Back when he was teenager.  He didn’t like it, he always complained about the therapy to us so we told him to stop going.  It’s pretty simple, in life you should only do what makes you happy, that’s what it means to be a human.”

“We’re his friends,” Andy said.  “We know what’s best for him.”

“Are you sure?” John said.

***

During the night, very little sleep was occurring.  In Greg and Andy’s room, the three had gathered.  It was a simple room with a bed on each side and a large window in between them.  Phoebe and Andy sat on opposite beds while Greg sat against the door.

“That John guy was a little weird,” Phoebe said.

“I liked him,” Andy said.

“I didn’t really talk to him all that much,” Greg said.  “What was he like?”

“He was a fan of the show, which is always nice,” Phoebe said.

“What did you talk about?” Greg said.

“Not much,” Andy said.  “Just the show and that.”

“What’s the plan then?” Greg said.

“Suppose we just stay here for tonight and we can all go home tomorrow,” Andy said.

“And then what?” Greg said.  “What’s the next adventure?”

“We don’t know,” Phoebe said.  “This is the last of the series.  We’ve got a lot of time before our next episode so why don’t we just relax?”

“We could go on holiday,” Andy said.

“We spend all our time going on holiday,” Phoebe said.  “That’s what our work is so a break from work would just be spending it at home.”

“Aren’t you worried?” Greg said.

“What do you mean?” Andy said.

“Do you honestly think I spent all that time in the bathroom?” Greg said.  “I heard what you said.  I’ve always caused you both nothing but hassle.  I can’t do anything by myself, I rely on you two completely.  I’m holding you back.  If it wasn’t for me, you two would have proper careers, you wouldn’t be just a couple of clowns who get recognised on the street as those idiots off the telly.  You could be actually contributing something to humanity rather than just one pointless human.  I’m so selfish.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Phoebe said.  “We love this.  Who else can say they have as much fun at their jobs as us?  We play for a living.  Forget contributing to society and screw the other humans, all that matters is our own happiness.”

“Yes,” Greg said, slowly rising to his feet.  “You’re absolutely right.  Without me, you could be happy.  You would probably be married by now, maybe even to each other...goodbye.”  Greg opened the large window and was about to step through it when Andy rushed to him and held him back as he struggled fervently to break from Andy’s grip.

“Oh for goodness sake,” Phoebe cried out.  “Stop being so melodramatic you idiot!  Let him go Andrew, he won’t actually do it.”

Andy hesitantly stopped hindering Greg and slowly stepped away.  At which point Greg looked at him…and then over at Phoebe…and then at the window, which he immediately ran at and jumped through.

Andy, with a horrified look upon his face, shot his gaze over to Phoebe and demanded, “You said he wouldn’t jump.”

“I thought he wouldn’t.”

***

No, Greg didn’t die.  They weren’t that high up after all and so, as Greg lay recuperating in hospital with several broken bones, Andy and Phoebe visited him everyday.

They never believed this to be a hassle, nor that Greg was a burden, even if his suspicions were never pacified.  All the time they had spent with him, they never considered a waste despite the lack of verification whether they were doing the right thing or not.

The only detail that the pair of old friends were certain of was that every second of their time, even if they were never given confirmation of neither success nor failure, was completely worth it.