The Man With No Heart

A demon that consumes the hearts of girls that fall in love with him.

My heart was stolen
By the man with no heart.
It was easy to take
Doing so was his art.
I loved that man, but he could care less.
He left me in pieces;
My body a mess.
When I was with him
He never treated me well,
But somehow I loved him
Even through hell.
Lying with him
Over his chest,
Venom I saw
Empty blackness.
I froze in horror
Of that terrible sight.
The center of his body
Absolutely no light.
The gasp of my breath,
A hand on my face,
"Shhh," he told me.
Evil words I could taste.
Out of his mouth,
He pulled out a knife
The blade through my chest
His choice now my life.
Visions I saw
Of the color red
Blood everywhere
My beating heart by his head.
Choking myself
Drowning in pain
My heart in his hands
Red drops of thick rain.
Eyes full of evil
My heart he consumed
I would not be the last
Another fooled soon.
The true demon he was
Not a man, but a lie
Was my last thought
A tear left uncried.
With that knife,
He painted his art
His most beautiful piece
The man with no heart.

Author's Note

I spell the word "love" with the beginning letters of 4 lines. See if you can find it. (: And I know this poem is kinda weird, but I thought the concept was interesting.

Reviews

[Brenden Moran]

The latter half of the poem has the most promise but it is overall a bit too overdone. You are trying too hard. Let the words come naturally. Find the words; search for them and do not settle for a lesser expression.