A Fondness For Pessimism.

A Fondness For Pessimism.

A Poem by Kayleigh Huckleberry
"

Splendiferous curls, negative hurls.

"
Colourful whirls and bountiful twists,
too many thoughts blinded with mist.

Animated turns and splendiferous curls,
back-strained and broken negative hurls.

Disheveled flurries and woebegone hurries.


When fine sounding optimistism fails to excite more than worries.

© 2012 Kayleigh Huckleberry


Author's Note

Kayleigh Huckleberry
Essentially, fisticuffs between optimistism and pessimism. The layout of the poem was experimental, if not random. I wasn't sure of a genre, suggestions muchly appreciated, and feel free to the fisticuff the poem itself; all the way down town if necessary. ;)

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Reviews

this is much better but the last line is far too long..even if you left out 'fine sounding' it would scan better...try not to over elaborate

Posted 12 Years Ago


I'd break the last line into a second after "fails". Other than that, you paint a vivid, swirling picture of "fisticuffs between optimistism and pessimism".
Edit: perhaps after "to" instead..

Posted 12 Years Ago



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2 Reviews
Added on July 1, 2012
Last Updated on July 1, 2012

Author

Kayleigh Huckleberry
Kayleigh Huckleberry

United Kingdom



About
I have the tendencies of a rambling man, and I'm hoping this doesn't show in my work, I'll try to keep it short and sweet: I am actually an art student, so for me this is a second means of self-exp.. more..

Writing