Separation

A guy decides to stop hanging out with his best mate... with consequences...

indent]Girlfriends come and go but best mates are always there...

     I sat down on the couch and shook my head disapprovingly at him, �you just don�t get it do you?� I said.
     He stared forlornly back at me silent, shrunken, red-eyed and completely partied out.
     �I can�t cover for you anymore mate; the excuses are getting a little thin on the ground now and people are starting to notice.�
     He bobbed his head slightly as if conceding the point.
     �It�s not just the trouble you get me in, the humorous little scrapes that I can write about and post on the Writer�s Caf�. You�re starting to make me look like a twat. And the money side of things� Jesus. If you were bringing money into the house it wouldn�t be so bad � I could live with that, in fact, I�d be chuffed to bits! But no. F**k me, you�re costing me money.�
     I ran my finger along the empty tin of beer that I was holding and pinged the rim with a fingernail and sighed. �Okay, perhaps its not all you,� I admitted. �Maybe I go out too much, maybe I drink too much when I do� but you have to admit, more often than not, it�s your idea that we go out � you with the master plan. I haven�t been to a decent club in months; it�s always the cattle markets where the slappers hang out. B**b tubes and blonde hair is great and all but I�d like, for once, to go out with a nurse or a school teacher, a woman with brains and not just 36DD�s�� I gave a little shrug, �okay maybe brains and 36DD�s, but you know what I mean.�
     I cracked open another tin of beer and drank deeply, this was harder than I thought; we�d hung out together for so long.
     �Look, I�m not blaming you for Delilah, I know I should have kicked her into touch after the first night and now I�m forking out four hundred quid a month in child maintenance. But my point is, if you hadn�t been chasing after Sindy f*****g Parsons, it wouldn�t have happened. Financially I�m on the bones of my arse here; I�m going to lose the flat and everything in it. S**t�� My mum always said I was too easily led, I was pissed off at the time but I think this was largely due to the fact that she was probably right. I just couldn�t let him lead me around like this anymore, his up and at �em - always have a good-time attitude and persuasive arguments was leading me down a path I didn�t want to take. I was beginning to suspect that I had a drink problem; I knew he was useless when drunk, hanging off me like some f*****g drooling imbecile and making me look like a right c**t.
     �Look I�m sorry you got herpes from Carol Sweeney, okay I admit, that might have been my fault� but it�s not my fault that you are allergic to latex.�
     He said nothing, just lowered his head and stared into the distance, numb. Perhaps he even sensed what was coming. Did he even care? The prick.
     I drank half the beer and blew out my cheeks, it was him or me. �Your attitude is starting to drag me down fella, I�m sorry.�

     I drained the beer and tossed it across the room. Taking up the nail scissors I stared down at him, his head resting quietly against my upper thigh � I hope that anaesthetic has had time to kick in.      Lifting him up gently, I pressed the scissors to the base. My hands began to tremble and sweat ran off my brow. With a deep breath I started to cut.
     There was no pain at first. Wow, that�s pretty gristly, I thought.

     Girlfriends come and go but best mates are always there� until they start to drop you in the s**t.

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Reviews

[alesuriko]

You're grammar's really bad in this one, you should start thinking about using punctuation. I liked the blunt, gory and detailed honesty of this story though. The beginning reminded me too much of Shawn of the Dead but it started to get original in its own way. Gruesome and interesting. I particularly liked the addition of herpes and the "not my fault you're allergic to latex." Dark humor entwined with this sick story. Well done.

[Narnie]

Nail scissors? One sharp slice with some Wilkinsons Hedge Trimmers and the job is done. :)

This screams of a point that most men must reach in their lives? The moment when they realise that it's time to settle down and concentrate their libido on one woman? Do I hear wedding bells? heheh.

Youre writing more and more of these fast paced, quirky sets and your natural ability for them just gets better and better. Congrats.

[Sarah Hawkinson]

Awesome. I love it. Great writing skills you got there. I did find a few grammar errors; nothing big such as: "arguments was leading me down a path" should be "were leading" and "I had a drink problem;" should be drinking. But I'm sure you already knew that. ;]
Great work!

[C.m.v]

You'd think there'd be an easier way to get rid of a pal, geez! LOL Glad to know it wasnt a memoir or auto-biographical. phew! As for horror, this was pretty good, only thing? Add a little more to the cutting up part. You know us horror readers, we want to read about the gore.
Also, what did he do with the body? Or did he just cut up certain parts? This could carry on to be a longer story...maybe the main character is a serial killer...he befriends these guys and kills them for whatever twisted reasoning he has. I see potential in this to be a novel. I wish you wouldve entered my Dialogue contest...your dialogue is well written. Great job on this.