A W A k E...

After a drunken night on the town, Jane wakes to find some unwelcome messages on her mobile phone...

     Jane Grey rolled her eyes and blinked into the gloom. Her head was pounding and her mouth was dry. She tasted sweat on her upper lip and smelled stale alcohol on her breathe. She massaged the bridge of her nose and creased her brow as another wave of nausea rolled over her. A dim light played across her fingertips as she located her mobile phone tucked into the shirt pocket at her breast.
     �Jesus�� she whispered, as faint recollections from the night before filtered back into her mind. Wine, cocktails, tequila.
     The display from the phone hurt her eyes as she held it close to her nose; evidently she had slept in her contacts again as her eyes felt gritty and sore.
     12 unread messages.
     Jane gave a slight shake of her head, irritated that she had again drunk beyond her capacity, as her thumb worked over the keys.
     Message 1/12: Catrina Willis 01:22am
     -Hey u! wer u go hun?? me n grls in jasps wine bar lost u in pub thort u had gone 2 loo. Cu in 5mins xxx-
        
     Jane cursed softly; she, Catrina and the girls from the bank had hit the bars straight from work to celebrate Clare�s twenty-first. The cute barman in Bar Revolver had been plying them with Merlot and tequila slammers, they must have gone to Jasper�s after that. Her recollection was fuzzy, had she gone to Jasper�s?
     �Sod it.�
     Her thumb worked again on the key pad.
     Message 2/12: unknown 01:58am
     -Awake?-

     Jane frowned and stared at the number, it was not one she recognised. She had slipped her number to the barman; she remembered the wink and flashy smile as he pocketed her card. She felt a sudden stab of guilt.
     Message 3/12: Philip Moore 02:12am
     -U ok baby? Do u want me to pic u up I am awake so can do if u want. Txt me wen u want x-

     �S**t, s**t, s**t.� Jane hurriedly scrolled back up the messages and deleted the second message; it would have probably meant nothing to Phil even if he has found it. She could always say that it was a wayward text, a wrong number.
     Message 4/12: unknown 02:14am
     -Remember me? ;-)-

     Jane clicked her tongue in annoyance and deleted the message. Stupid bloody question. She puffed out her cheeks and blew cooling air up onto her face, it was so hot.
     Message 5/12: Catrina Willis 02:28am
     -2 drunk 2 stand getin cab home don�t know wer u r hun hope u had gud 1, fone me wen u get this maek sure u gt home ok xxx-

     Jane a sigh and cycled through the menu to call sender. The display blinked Network unobtainable. Irritated she shook her phone and tried again.
     Network unobtainable.
     She gave a grunt, �f*****g phone.� It was not the first time she had lost a connection at home; as soon as her contract is up she would be switching to another service provider.
     Message 6/12: Philip Moore 03:40am
     -U ok Jane? Its v late fone me wen u get this I will pic u up u drunken cow haha! X-

     She gave a slight smile; she could almost see Phil�s expression as she fell across the bonnet of his Audi and slid into the passenger seat. Last time she had been sick on his interior. Surely not again, she thought, he would be furious.
     �Honey?� She called out. Silence, unremitting. �S**t��
     Message 7/12: unknown 03:47am
     -I saw u again 2day but u didnt see me I waved but u carried on. I came 2 the bank but u didnt serve me the other day, it was yr fat friend the 1 with the bunches-

     Jane frowned, who the hell was this? Hurriedly she scrolled through her text history to see if the number matched any others; it did not.
     Part Message 8/12: unknown 03:48am
     -I didnt want 2 b rude but u wudnt c me yr fat friend the 1 with the bunches sed u were at lunch but u were in the bank. I told her that u new me fm wen we were at uni but she sed u were out-

     Part 2 Message 8/12: unknown 03:48am
     - yr fat frend shudnt lie 2 cutsomers!! Fat b***h!!!!!!!-

     Jane�s pulse began to race, her mind whirling as she deselected then selected the next message. She remembered something now about something that Melissa from the bank had said. A guy. Some weirdo, she had said, asking after her.
     Message 9/12: Philip Moore 04:02am
     -Ok babe not funny where r u? Cat has foned me she cant get hold of u on yr moby am worried now. Call me ASAP-

     Message 10/12: Catrina Willis 04:08am
     -Hunny where r u? Soz but I foned Phil as I can�t get u on yr fone. Fone me when u get in pse xx-

     Jesus, it was so hot, Jane blinked and drew a hand over her face as she quit out of her messages menu and cycled through missed calls.
     01:10am 9/6/06 � Catrina Willis
     01:17am 9/6/06 � Catrina Willis
     01:36am 9/6/06 � Catrina Willis
     01:56am 9/6/06 � Catrina Willis
     02:23am 9/6/06 � Catrina Willis
     03:15am 9/6/06 � Phillip Moore
     03:31am 9/6/06 � Phillip Moore
     03:33am 9/6/06 � Catrina Willis
     03:49am 9/6/06 � Catrina Willis
     04:01am 9/6/06 � Phillip Moore
     04:13am 9/6/06 � Phillip Moore
     04:16am 9/6/06 � Phillip Moore

     Jane hurriedly thumbed the return call button, again it flashed, Network unobtainable. Setting her jaw she depressed the call button again.
     Network unobtainable.
     Network unobtainable.
     Network unobtainable.

     She drew a breath and closed her eyes as another wave of nausea hit her and she struggled not to vomit. Her head was spinning and she pressed the phone against her forehead, drawing in shaking breathes. It was so hot.
     Jane cycled back to the final messages.
     Message 11/12: unknown 04:28am
     - Im sorry I shudnt get mad but u shood be nicer to peeple. U shudnt have left me like u did at uni and go off with that philipp f***a I will be going to see him next after I have seen yr fat frend 4 lying-

     She blinked as sweat rolled into her eyes, blurring the words of the next message. Lawrence? Jane rubbed her eyes feeling bile clawing up her throat as her heart began to thud. Lawrence Pierson? Surely not� She had hardly given him a thought in the three years she had been with Phillip. They had dated perhaps twice towards the end of her second year at University. He had sent her flowers a few times after but Phillip had put him in his place she had heard nothing. With her eyes closed she struggled to even picture him, shoulder length dark hair, thin faced, dark eyes, neither attractive not unattractive. A grey man in every sense. Not unlike the person Melissa had had removed from the lobby of the bank.
     Jane smeared the sweat matted hair from her eyes and started to read the last message, her throat tightening; it was stiflingly hot. The air was thick and even breathing was becoming difficult. As she levered herself up onto her elbows her head came into contact with something hard inches above her, something that creaked as if under tremendous strain in the darkness. Bringing her knees up hurriedly they too thumped against something hard above, involuntarily her feet kicked out sideways thudding uselessly at what sounded like wood on both sides. With her breathing coming in short ragged, panicky gasps she almost lost her grip on her mobile:
     Message 12/12: unknown 04:32am
     - I sed then I wud not let u go and I wil not give up. I hope u get these messeges cos I luv u, u no that, I told u wen I sent u the flowers but u did not want 2 meet me. Now it is ok cos u can stay near me and I can c u evryday. I hope u get the messeges cos I love u and I didn�t want to bury u 2 deep, if u luv me 2 pse txt me back and I wil cum and dig u out-

     Network unobtainable�.
     Network unobtainable�.
     Network unobtainable�.
     Network unobtainable�.

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Music courtesy of Marilyn Manson.

Author's Note

Again this bears no relation to any girlfriend I may have buried, alive or otherwise...

Reviews

[Steven Silvey]

Wow...He buried her! That's insanity. I had to laugh the whole way through this, because one of my best friends is named Philip Moore. Everytime he said something, I thought of Philip, lol. If you knew him, you'd see why it's funny to me.
So was it Lawrence!?
Is she okay!?
Great bit of mystery and suspense. The best I've read. Going into favorites, for sure.

[Jared Kardos]

Whew...creepy stuff.

Looking back after reading it, one would think that she would have noticed a lot quicker that she was at least trapped in something. I mean, after one wakes up, they tend to want to sit up, right?

However, one would not be thinking of this as the person was reading--one's heart would be pounding too hard to hear the brain.

Very good stuff, sir--it kinda reminds me of a modern-day Poe tale, espicially since she will, most definately, meet with an untimely end after that is over.

[Ivy Louise]

this is so creepy! i love it!

[Lionel Braud]

i like how this story is styled with text messaging cause it warrants a new era to modern fiction, to something we all depend upon, text messaging.

[Silvia - Scribo, Ergo S..]

Vastly enjoyable read, a little dark, a little creepy, suspense, the lot. Great write, Howie! xxx

[Raef C. Boylan]

The suspense of this is cleverly written - we're not even properly aware of it until about the middle of the story - "A guy. Some weirdo, she had said, asking after her." - "Jesus, it was so hot" etc. Due to the after-effects of her being taken and her location being akin to the after-effects of over-indulging in booze, we aren't too concerned for Jane for a while.

The 'text-speak' is well constructed too, and the style you've used for this story - telling it mostly through Jane's examination of her texts - works well. You avoid all the cliches that writers tend to fall into when inserting slang or texts and email into their stories; simple things like the occasional misspelling - "maek sure u gt home ok xxx" - increase the realism of this.

I think the ending is great, albeit disturbing.
All those people thinking they were safe from being buried alive and dying in the ground so long as they carried their mobile with them at all times...i bet this'll freak them out.
No signal.

"Network unobtainable�.
Network unobtainable�.
Network unobtainable�.
Network unobtainable�."

Great write. I enjoyed reading this; it's entertaining and absorbing.

Thanks for posting this.

p.s. a few typos/queries:

"smelled stale alcohol on her breathe" (breath)

"as soon as her contract is up she would be switching to another service provider" - the tense are in conflict a little here ("contract was up").

[Lainie W]

Great journey to a stunning conclusion.....That was wow!

[Pamela]

Oh my goodness. This is so horrific! What a twist to an otherwise fairly normal tale of the morning after the night before.

Very well thought out and written Howie, you took me completely by surprise with the ending.

[EW Bradfute]

Very Good, it was near the end that I figured the coffin. I liked it the suspense is there and as you get more into the story the reader is getting drawn in.

[Sunny]

Great. I am very claustrophic and this one really got me. Well done.