The Long Road

The Long Road

A Story by HoWiE
"

This was a story that came to me when I was living in London in 1993. I used to see an old man at the same time, same place every day on my way to the tube station...

"

    

     I saw him again today, leaning into the wind, his eyes screwed up and his mouth a tight line of determination. With his arthritic fingers  curled round the lapels of his weathered tweed jacket, pulling it tight against the cold, he hobbled along, his eyes tearing against the elements. The blustery breeze snatched smoky whorls of breath from his mouth and whipped them over his shoulder. His lips quivered blue and chapped. His watery eyes were rheumy and distant beneath his hooded lids, fixed upon the gate at the end of the long road. A shock of white hair escaped from the side of his hat and fluttered wildly as the old man sought to pull down on the brim with his free hand.

 

     Every Sunday morning at nine, come rain or shine, for as long as I can remember I have seen him struggle up the winding path that leads to the park. So many times I think he might not make it, that he may stumble or one day decide that his legs will no longer carry him. Last week he brought bread for the ducks and I watched him tear off small chunks and flick his wrist in their direction, an odd look on his face. In the summer he would wear a flower in the lapel of his tweed jacket and his eyes would not seem so tired, his chin would be tilted higher and he would clasp his hands behind his back.

 

     Today, unusually, he paused at the park entrance and his gnarled fingers traced the rust-flecked wrought ironwork of the gate. He stared back down the road and a curious flicker of what could only have been a smile, tugged at the corner of his mouth. Finally, he hauled himself past the gate and wandered into the park where he would be shielded by the curling tree line. Once out of the wind, he relaxed the steadfast grip on his lapels and pulled a crumpled posy of flowers from the confines of his creased jacket. He made a fuss of straightening the things with his shaking hand before continuing on his way.

 

     Once at the bench, he fidgeted in his pocket for a small bag of bread pieces and slowly lowered himself onto the bench before scattering the food on the ground before him. He removed his hat and folded it and placed it in his lap before carefully laying the posy on the weather-cracked woodwork beside him. Leaning over gingerly he licked at the tip of his thumb and smeared it over a small plaque embedded on the back of the seat, worrying at the verdigris there. Satisfied, he straightened up and clasped his hands in his lap to stare out across the lake before closing his eyes against the hazy sun with a smile.

 


     For so many years I have watched him come here, week after week, year after year, climbing the long road to the place where we used to sit and feed the ducks. So many times I wanted to reach out to him and let him know that I was there, that I had always been there, right beside him, all this time.

 

     When I opened my eyes, he was staring right at me. He saw me, he was young again and the sun was shining...



 

 

 

Photobucket

 

 

 


Music taken from the Main Theme from Legends of the Fall.

© 2018 HoWiE


Author's Note

HoWiE
One day at the tail end of winter he wasn't there and I never saw him again...

My Review

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Featured Review

PERFECT ! I read this never once thinking about the narrator. I was busy wondering who he missed. I was obvious that he was pining. The POW! He's pining for the narrator who has seemingly predeceased him. touching and poingant.

I have no suggestions for this. Just a question.

If you extended this ... could you maintain it's quality??

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 17 Years Ago


6 of 6 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I read this again .....well......'cause I love it, and I saw one very small thing:
"that I had always be there," This is such a fabulous story. I really love this one.

Be well. :)



This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is awesome. It's a beautiful scene full of life and color. I was immediately pulled in and then spun in the end! A fantastic twist in the end, which made me re-think the entire piece and about what was actually happening. Spot on! Loved it.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really really loved this piece. Thank you so much for entering my contest, and congratulations.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

:( *bawls* This was absolutely beautiful. The imagery was perfect. You have made the first cut of finalists in my Imagery contest. Thank you for entering.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

How cute. Perfect for the contest. Thanks so much for entering this piece. I absolutely adored it. I'll go ahead and tell you that you created a VERY loveable character with this old man. Well, I suppose you didn't CREATE him, considering you really "knew" him, but you did a very good job of making us (readers) love him. Love this piece. Best of luck to you in the contest!
KH

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

How sweet is this, and from you too you twisted s**t! This is fab, you should write more like this. Don't get me wrong I love the dark, intense slightly grubby stuff too but this, this has soul my good man.Sam x
And now resides in my faves so shove it.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I, who lack the imagination of most, wish there were more of an explanation here. I am a lazy reader and wish it to be explained to me, not by me.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 17 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a great piece. I felt like I was in the park, observing this old man, and observing you observing him. It's a beautiful piece of work-- it reminds me to stop rushing around like a chicken with my head chopped off and to notice the little things in life, like people with impeccable routines. And to just sit back and observe sometimes. Oh! And in the second paragraph, I think you're missing a period after, "his legs will no longer carry him.":)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 17 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I thought I was going to make it through with no crying...then you hit me with the twist at the end...and a swell in the music coincided. Luckily I moved the box of tissues closer before I started reading this one.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 17 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

This was nice. I didn't get to hear the music w/ it I'm on a s****y Mac. Anyway, I loved the content. It was so relaxing and fluent. A nice explaination of a person who probably never knew how much you knew or wanted to know about him. Only one mistake;
"He removed his hat and folded it and placed it in his lap then carefully laid the posy on the weather cracked woodwork beside him"
You should probably say - his hat, folded it and placed it-
I liked it.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 17 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 22, 2008
Last Updated on September 6, 2018
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Author

HoWiE
HoWiE

Plymouth,, Devon, United Kingdom



About
Well, I'm back - it only took 8 years to get over my writer's block! Now 47, older, wiser and, for some reason, now a teacher having left the Armed Forces in 2012. The writing is slow going but .. more..

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