Christmas

A man wrestles with affairs of the heart on a rainy Christmas night.

     It was Christmas night, bitter and black. The evening's lacklustre downpour had faltered into a cold, clinging mizzle that stole the breath. It curled about and clung to everything soaking it and leaving the roads slick and treacherous. What little wind there was caught the tree tops, pushing and pulling at the boughs causing a pitter-patter of droplets onto the sodden Earth.

     Ensconced in the tree-lined darkness of the roadside a set of hazards burned intermittently, illuminating the undergrowth in a flickering amber glow. Jimmy smeared the tears from his eyes and transferred his hands back onto the steering wheel to steady them, the skin at his knuckles whitening. He caught sight of his reflection in the rear view mirror, the dashboard lights under lit his features lending him a hollowed almost cadaverous quality. He blinked away the vision, all too aware that the years were advancing fast. The past three years alone had been unkind, the toll of their passage forming in paunchy dark sacks beneath his eyes�
     His heart was pounding and his mouth was dry, he knew he should be home with Lucy and Toby. He had seen Lucy's face as he had made his excuses at the dinner table and taken his coat down from the hook. He listened as the bullshit excuse tripped from his lips and turned his eyes away from hers. That look, was it hate, disgust, pity? Lucy had never been one for hiding her emotions well. She knew; she wasn't stupid.
     She had said simply, "don't be long."

     "Please don't go," he whispered his voice little more than a croak.
     Gemma said nothing. She stared ahead, her pale blue eyes hidden by the curve of her dark hair.
     "I'm sorry," Jimmy said. "I was stupid. I did something to my family that I swore that I would never do. I hurt them so badly with all this and I hurt you too, I never meant to�"
     The woman bowed her head and folded her hands into her lap. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me�"
     He shook his head wordlessly, pressing his hand against his mouth.
     "� but you did Jimmy. You did hurt me, whether it was your intent or not, you did and that's something that you will have to live with."
     Jimmy swallowed as Gemma reached for the door handle.
     "Please stay," he said, "just for a while�"
     "I can't�"
     "Just for a little longer�"
     Gemma half turned to him and offered him a faint smile, her light eyes glistening with tears. "You know I can't be here with you, not now." She turned away from him, leaning towards the door. "It's too painful for me� I'm sorry� Go see Lucy and Toby, they'll be missing you."
     "I'll miss you�" He replied brokenly.
     "I'll always love you," she whispered, "don't ever think that I won't."
     Jimmy buried his face in his hands.
     "I still love you."
     "I have to go�"

     Everything shook, the world jolting violently around him, thrusting him forward and then slamming him backward into his seat.
     Jimmy opened his eyes, his vision swimming and his mind roaring. A thin tapering trail of steam twisted upwards from the ruined engine block. The windshield now a shattered web, punched through in parts and bloodied. The bonnet crumpled, pushed upwards and folded, glistening in the light rain.
     He tasted blood, he tasted whiskey and vomit.

     Jimmy pressed the heels of his palms into his eye sockets in an attempt to shut out the whirling cacophony of wreckage and remains and noise and light and pain. He cried out.

     --One drink, my God it was one drink--

     Just enough to push him over the limit for driving. A wet road. A Christmas night just like tonight.

     Jimmy opened his eyes slowly. Rain tapped out a staccato on the roof and ran in glossy rivulets down the windscreen distorting the image of the bouquet at the base of the scarred tree. He stared across at the passenger seat, silently cursing every fibre of his being. "I miss you so much Gem."
     He reached down to gun the engine, resting his forehead against his hand as he did so. His thoughts turned to Lucy and Toby. He had been gone for hours. It was Christmas night and his children needed him, now more than ever.

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Silent Night by Willie Nelson.

Author's Note

This will dampen your Christmas spirits! Ho Ho bloody Ho! ;)

Reviews

[Freder Fredersen (aka G..]

Bravo sir! The Chistmas story ever to grace my eyes! I truly ejoyed and will be a freuenter of our syllabic establishment.


"He tasted blood, he tasted whiskey and vomit."

FF

[Fantasyfairy]

A nice Christmas story, lol. Well, it was expected but still a good story. It was interesting to read, well written with the right amount of tension and pity throughout. XX