-Wacca-

Good grief, I have no idea where this came from... it just occurred to me sitting in a Costa Coffee one afternoon... I think I might need some help...

Well, as far fetched as this story may seem, I�ll tell it anyway�

     I was sat in a Costa Coffee this afternoon, nestled in the back of a sizeable Waterstones� bookshop, hugging a large Mocha and nursing a bruised ego. My relationship with my long term girlfriend was in tatters and to make matters worse it appeared to be �Happy-Couple Friday� in Plymouth. Everyone seemed to be holding hands and smiling fluoride-smiles, it looked for all its worth like some diabolical Persil advert. Hence, I retreated into the warm sanctity of a bucket of coffee and wallowed in bookshop self-pity. It seemed that everything was conspiring against me, not least my MP3 player:

Track #84: Always � Bon Jovi.
F**k me�click!
Track #131: I Don�t Have Anything (if I don�t have you) � Vast.
Jesus wept� click!
Track #9: You�re My Best Friend � Queen.
Oh come on�it�s on f*****g random! click!
Thank you for listening� Have a nice day� the Sony Corp�
Oh bollocks to you.

     I brooded into the muddy depths of my mug and conjoured chocolate swirls with my spoon before drawing a mouthful. It was uncommonly quiet in the caf�, devoid of the usual hubbub of chatter and clinking spoons and crockery. I gazed over the rim and watched everyone through the drifting whorls of Mocha-steam. A bored-looking Barista drying cups stared bleakly into space, a grey-suited man with a laptop tapping mechanically on the keys and a doting, saccharine-coated couple. I watched the couple holding hands across the table and wondered who was cheating on whom.
     I sighed, chiding myself silently for the thought and tilted the cup/bucket towards my mouth. At that moment the lights dimmed and the bookshop beyond faded from view, nobody seemed to pay any heed. I noticed that the luminous escape markings on the floor dotted and blinked into view as darkness encroached upon us. Somebody seemed to have been somewhat over-zealous with the placing of the floor markings, I thought, they were everywhere.
     Just then, the grey-suited guy stood up and moved across the room heading for the gap in the barriers that led back into the bookshop proper and the cookery section beyond. I blinked; he looked strangely ephemeral, almost as if he wasn�t quite there. I shook my head and stirred my coffee again seeking more chocolate to rise to the surface.
     When I looked back again, the couple has risen from their seats and were moving back down towards the counter. Well, I say moving, they were sort of� drifting almost as if they were wearing those wheelie-heelie shoes that kids wear these days. Now that�s f*****g odd, I thought. The woman, in her striking light-blue coat, scooted past me and turned abruptly before she reached the counter and zipped off to the right. Simultaneously, the Barista shot out from behind the counter and trundled back up the way she had come. I watched in amazement as he seemed to pass right through her.
     What the f**k?
     Just then, grey-suited chap reappeared but on the other side of the room as if he had passed straight through the brick wall. The woman�s boyfriend, bedecked in a shocking red-pullover, darted back to the left and cut across her path as if searching for something.
     The four of them maintained this routine for about thirty seconds, traversing the coffee shop and weaving between tables. It was most unnerving. Again, a couple of them seemed to pass through each other, wordless, heedless, their eyes blank and their movements automatic. I stared hard, feeling my heart thudding in my chest.
     They were transparent! I could see the faint images of things beyond them, through them. Now I�m a pretty level-headed kind of guy but, to coin a previously used exclamation, what the f**k?
     As I set the mug back onto the saucer, it slipped and clattered noisily against it, slopping coffee onto the table top, I shoved back the chair to save myself a scolding and the chair legs screeched against the floor. They stopped, as one and turned until they were all facing me.
     My heart lurched in my chest as their dead eyes fell upon me.
     I stood up and seemed to come more acutely into view to them. They bobbled on their heels slightly and then began to drift towards me.
     That was it, I was off.
     I skirted around a table as the Barista checked his turn and followed me up the aisle. The light-blue coated woman, spun a 360 and came after me. For some reason red-pullover boyfriend was sulking in a corner moving back and forth. It was then that I noted that the luminescent floor signs faded beneath my squeaking trainers. I glanced over my shoulder to see an aisle of darkness behind me. I moved on, perhaps the signs were showing me the route out. I came to a crossroads, the signs trailed away to the left and the right. Now what?
     Barista and blue-coat were hot on my trail. I carolled away to the left, the lights winking out beneath my feet, before long the whole shop would be in darkness. Grey-suit came out of nowhere and I virtually s**t my pants on the spot, it wasn�t that he was particularly scary, it was just that I hadn�t expected him to materialise through a brick wall. I took another two lefts and headed towards the gap in the barriers and the sanctuary of the cookery section, red-pullover was drifting up to cut me off. Thankfully I made it just before him.
     Darkness swallowed me up.
     Silence.
     A faint breath of air and I blinked.
     I was back on the other side of the coffee shop, there was no escape! My heart was pounding in my chest and my legs were shaking like those of a stray dog shitting (crass but accurate). Blue-coat was almost upon me, I whirled away and down another aisle, the pale lights winking out beneath my feet like some ominous countdown to destruction, I feared my moments were numbered.
     Grey-suit was coming up the other way. Barista to my right. Red-pullover appeared to be jiggling about having some sort of seizure. I spun about � too late.
     Two of them reached me at the same time. They slid over me with a dreadful coldness. My skin prickled as they engulfed me, clutching at my yellow jacket and holding me in check. I shuddered, paralysed with fear.
     I felt myself twisting, turning inside out, opening up like a peapod and splitting into nothingness. My whole existence convoluting and degrading. The coffee shop tilted and disorientation washed over me. Strangely there was no pain. There was only blackness�

     I opened my eyes, steadying myself. The ghosts were suddenly behind the counter, moving awkwardly in the small space and I had returned to the centre of the room. I clutched at my jacket for signs of damage or blood, there was none. I was returned, reborn, respawned unharmed.
     A track of lights trailed away from me into the distance, the ghosts were on the move again and      I finally knew what I had to do.
     Keep moving, avoid the ghosts, follow the trails and I would soon escape this strangeness, this game, this world, this personally inspired mania � this� Pac-mania.

Wacca-wacca-wacca-wacca-wacca-wacca�

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....................................................

Music courtesy of Aphex Twin.

Author's Note

WARNING: Some or all of this story may not be true...

Reviews

[ALifeAquatic]

Thank you for entering this in, "Be Experimental."

Normally I find it hard to read a story on Writer's Cafe the whole way through, but this had be to the end!
It's a very clever piece, both stylistically and in content. Not only is it humourous but as it has already been said it has a dark/intense edge to it. Personally I prefer to sit in Cafe Alfresco for my coffee but that isn't anywhere!

If I had to make one small critique it isn't because I'm a prude or the language police, but I just think the amount of cursing while not to an enormous extent, takes away from the piece, I know that when I resort to cursing it's because I've ran out of verbs, nouns, adjectives etc.

That doesn't really matter much though, as once again, my expectations have been exceeding by the quality of out of the ordinary, clever, experimental entries I've recieved!

Thank you

AHouseOfChambers

[Craig2591]

Brilliant!! I didn't get it until the last line. Made me laugh. It was also well written and entertaining.

[Sunny]

LOL....LOL...LOL. Perfect comedy with an intense edge. Great.

[Narnie]

Stick to herbal tea, Howie. I play Pacman with the other invigilators during any three hour mocks (you get so BORED) and it is so tempting to do the 'do do do do do dod o doooo...' but of course we are way too professional for that. Your story has swishes and turns and a cheeky smile throughout. Perfect.

[richard hurndall]

I too have noticed that Costa coffee is stronger than most other chains. Perhaps there is a conspiracy here to put the nation into a coffee-induced illusory world- I don't have a problem with this...
Many thanks, I enjoyed this story a lot.

[Carla (trying to make e..]

I did the normal... oh my...LOL.... when I got to the end....
you do it to me every time..

Carla

[Marie]

Very interesting. I liked it a lot.

[TL Boehm]

Awesome story here - I think what really grabbed me from the first was the clicking of tracks - how often we do that. Well written...