Tao'misi's Ward

A young seeker is charged with delivering his people into sanctuary, but is he all he purports to be?

     These were the blackest of days for the Tribes Beneath the Silver Skies. With their numbers depleted through the sickness that plagued the valley and the capriciousness of Those Whom Reside Above, desperate measures were destined to be undertaken. A council was formed. The clans gathered at the Teeming Stone and awaited the Tribal leader�s charge. It was a time of choosing and all knew of the legends that out of the darkest of times a saviour would arise to lead them to safety...
Ka'omaha, Tribal leader, rose up above his underlings and spoke unto them:
     �O� hearken my children. For many cycles now, the Blight that assails the Azure valley has grown; our food, once abundant, diminishes by the day. The wilfulness of Those Whom Reside Above the Silver Skies rises to unparalleled heights and the stealer of lives stalks among us ...�
     There came a clamour of unrequited grief from the females and their children and mutterings of consternation from the assembled males. Ka'omaha waited for this to abate before he continued:
     �The Council has spoken at great length and it has been decided that the clans shall flock to the banner of Tao�misi, the Seeker. He is long travelled in the valley and has glimpsed its boundaries. He says that that which lies beyond the fringe of our world is the legendary Sanctuary Banks. To eschew this sliver of freedom is to seal our fate as surely as if we had invited Those Whom Reside Above into our very homes. Sanctuary Banks where food and shelter is plentiful, where there is no sickness and the Blight cannot strike down our offspring!
     Accompanying the Seeker will be the young, the healthy and the knowledgeable, they will carry on the line and make a new life for themselves in Sanctuary Banks; this is Tao�misi�s ward. The old and the sick will remain here with me for I fear they will never make the journey.
     With each day we tarry, the valley becomes more uninhabitable and so I beseech the clans to offer up their chosen and bid farewell to those who choose to remain behind.
     You shall leave with the coming of the light my children. Ka'omaha has spoken.�
     Ca'riocha, her eyes glistening, detached herself from the milling crowds and came to rest at the side of a thoughtful Tao�misi who lingered a little way off.
     �I am so afraid my love but I am thankful for the solace that you shall be our saviour brave Tao�misi.�
     He enfolded his life-partner in his loving embrace and felt her nuzzle against him. �We are all frightened my love; it is a dark time indeed. But I fear that noble Ka'omaha is wrong to choose me; I am not the Great Saviour, I am a mere Seeker.�
     �No, Tao�misi, he is right. You are the most travelled of all the Seekers and perhaps the finest there ever has been. I believe in you and so you must believe in yourself if we are to survive.�
Tao�misi appeared to slump and turned away so that she could not see his eyes.
     �My love, I have something to say. I have travelled only to the borders of our village, as far as Tumbling Rocks but no further,� he looked away, �I have not glimpsed the boundaries of this valley nor can I say if Sanctuary Banks even exists.�
     �Bold Tao�misi, I do not understand,� Ca'riocha said.
     �I spoke a great mistruth,� he said brokenly. �My father was the great Seeker and so widely travelled, so respected� My courage failed me at Tumbling Rocks, I turned back�I felt like dying. I am a coward and a failure.�
     Ca'riocha fell silent and took a moment to compose her thoughts, finally she spoke. �You are no coward and you are certainly no failure, we shall prove this together. You will lead the Tribes beyond Tumbling Rocks, though the Azure Valley and discover Sanctuary Banks. I will be with you. I will not let you falter brave Tao�misi; you will guide us to salvation.�
     �Sweet Ca'riocha, you are my heart,� Tao�misi whispered.

     With the coming of the morn the Tribes gathered, their numbers swelling in the silvery light. Tao�misi felt Ca'riocha beside him, pressing herself close and he felt invigorated. �All will be well,� she whispered, �I will never leave your side.�
     �Nor I, sweet Ca'riocha,� the Seeker replied. He crested a small rise and addressed them.
     �Cherished Tribes, noble Ka�omaha has charged me with your deliverance to Sanctuary Banks. The way will be fraught but you must concentrate on the matter at hand, do not stray from the line but keep an observant eye on the skies; Those Whom Reside Above will be watching and they will try to snare us with their trickery � do not let them. If a brother or sister should fall by the wayside, I beseech you do not tarry beside them for they are already lost and you will be too. We leave!�
     And so it was that Tao�misi the Seeker, with his beloved at his right side, led the Tribes on the long journey from the deterioration of the Azure valley toward mythical Sanctuary Banks.
     For many, the journey was a terrifying and arduous slog with little food or rest but Tao�misi drove them on regardless. So few had ventured far from their homes having become incapacitated with the fear of the unknown at childhood. After several cycles they reached Ragged Bluff and paused awhile to rest whilst Tao�misi collected his thoughts. He stared silently out across the Bluff towards Tumbling Rocks, his heart thudding � so many frightened eyes upon me, so many weary souls depending on me�and we have yet to pass the Tumbling Rocks; the very foundations of the Dominion Beyond the Silver Skies � were they reside.
     He became aware of a presence beside him and a second pair of eyes followed his gaze. �Is that it?� Ca'riocha whispered. Tao�misi said nothing but turned back to the massed Tribes.
     �Fear not,� she said, �for I am by your side.�
     As they approached Tumbling Rocks, a flickering caught his eye far off to the left and he felt his heart lurch in his chest. A bright thing was dancing as it by itself, twisting and mesmerising. It caught the eye of a youngling who darted after it, her eyes wild in wonderment. A fancy! One of the many devious trickeries of Those Whom Reside Above. Tao�misi started back towards the Tribes, calling after the youngling but knowing with dread certainty that he would never reach her in time. The youngling�s parents alerted to the danger whirled about, crying out in horror as she reached the fancy. It jerked and tipped once, enticing her further. The fancy glittered in her eyes. A single thread of light glimmered once in the silver sky and suddenly the youngling was snatched from under her parents despairing gaze, upwards, twisting and bucking haplessly until she was gone.
     The loss burned into his heart but Tao�misi knew that he had to get the Tribes moving again and quickly. �Brothers and sisters, they are abroad � fly!�
     As one, the remaining Tribes fled, spilling over Ragged Bluff and rushing across Tumbling Rocks.
     �Do not stop, do not slow!� Tao�misi commanded.
     Fear turned to abject panic as several of those fleeing were plucked from the charge at the behest of Those Whom Reside Above, writhing and struggling in vain to disappear in the dappling silver light. Those who stopped to save or give aid to others were also snatched up, torn from the embrace of their despairing loved ones. Tao�misi felt Ca'riocha beside him as he pushed on his soul cut in twain; his jubilation in her dogged survival was tempered by the dread thought that she too may be taken at any moment.

     As the silver skies descended into glittering amethyst the last of the Tribes crossed Tumbling Rocks and further into the unknown. It was mere moments from there when Ca�riocha, exhausted and weak from lack of food, gave a faint crow, �Tao�misi, what is this extraordinary landscape?�
The valley slopes petered out, running flatter at either side to fall into a vast undulating plain that stretched as far as the eye could see. Tao�misi closed his eyes against the vision, fearful that it may be that and nothing more. No, it was real; no flight of fancy or unreasonable dream.
     Sanctuary Banks, it could be nothing else.
     Giddily he swept his life-partner into his embrace, �we are here my sweet. It exists! We have made it!�
     He turned to the Tribes, shouting joyously, �it is here! It is here! Sanctuary Banks is here!�
     The Tribes cried out and swept forward, rejuvenated and rushing past them out of the Azure valley and to safety. Tao�misi and Ca�riocha watched them stream past, their eyes bright and their hearts swelling.
     �You have done it valiant Tao�misi,� she whispered, �you are a hero, you have saved us all.�
     The triumphant Seeker watched the Tribes passing him by, some calling or carolling his name as they flooded into their new home, a bounty of food and shelter. Ca�riocha moved aside from him her euphoria giving way to the hunger pangs and fragility that the harrowing journey had brought about. So many of them had fallen on the way; some taken by Those Whom Reside Above and others having succumbed to sickness or exhaustion. She allowed her eyes to flutter closed as she rested; finally we are home. Vaguely she became aware of something prickling the edge of her consciousness, something scented; something that made her tongue tingle and her stomach ache.
     Sanctuary Banks where food and shelter is plentiful�
     Ca�riocha�s eyes snapped open, food! It was there resting upon a rock, unguarded and inviting. Automatically she was drawn to it, all too aware of the pangs in her stomach, so hungry�so very hungry�
     She would take just enough sustenance, enough to keep her from fainting and then she could join beloved Tao�misi and they could build their home together. Hastily and heedlessly she crammed the food into her mouth, swallowing and feeling the warm endorphin glow spreading through her body.
     �NO!� The moment Tao�misi�s horrified cry resounded she knew she was caught. The food jerked slightly and a thread of light shimmered faintly above her. Sharp pain exploded in her mouth and she tasted blood. Tao�misi reached her, his body grazing hers and his mind afire. He twisted violently trying to free her as the silver skies rippled and a vast alien network of intersecting lines closed in around them mashing his body against hers. Her wide eyes were a riotous calamity of shock and dismay as Tao�misi saw his own fate sealed within them
     I will never leave your side�
     Nor I, sweet Ca'riocha�
     Upwards they surged, the silver skies rushing towards them, swirling tempestuously and foaming as they burst though into wild and cold bright light.


     �Look Dad! I got two with the net!� The boy said, hauling himself up onto the bank and dropping back onto the lush grass. He watched the two fish curl round each other in the net, almost protectively. The father grinned and ruffled the shock of unruly blonde hair on his son�s head. �Good job son, that�s brilliant.�
     The father stared upriver, towards the chemical plant that pumped noxious clouds of filth into the summer air. He gave a gentle shake of his head before staring down again to the sparkling silver shapes that darted and swarmed at the mouth of the great lake.

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Reviews

[An Ordinary Woman]

This is absolutely brilliant, Howie. Fantasy isn't my usual preference of genre but my Lord, I was sucked in from the start. ** I am not the Great Saviour, I am a mere Seeker **I had goosebumps ... I gotta tell ya. I loved how Ca� riocha had so much faith in Tao� misi ... and even more wonderful was the fact that he believed, as long as they were together. The ending was a surprise, I hadn't expected them to die. The part about the boy catching the fish from the water, Wow. Of course the music, an excellent touch, very dramatic (I loved the piece you chose, btw) and was absolutely magical when played together with this. ... not intending to cause any blushing this time around, but 5 stars and into my favorites. very excellent work.

[Dingo the Archwizard of..]

This was well written, but I think it need something.
The transition between their homes and the banks was far too short. You drew it out in such a way as to make it a very important aspect of the story; you should lengthen it to do it justice. Minor grammatical errors are scattered sparsely throughout, as well; I suggest you put quotations on your dialogue. The lack of quotations there threw me off a bit, though it didn't hinder the fluidity of my read all too much.

All in all, decently written, though I highly recommend you lengthen it a bit. The twist at the end was interesting, also. You need to lengthen the journey to the Sanctuary Banks. Do that, and your story is at its best.
Peace, Dingo

[Starting Over]

This is such an awsome story... thanks for entering it into my contest!!! I loved it!!! Greta job!!

Lacey

[I C S Clark-Hogg]

I love stories with a twist in the tail. A delightful read.
Irene

[Leah Elisabeth]

This is interesting. The twist at the end was definitely unexpected. The only piece of advice I can give you is to use your colorful words sparingly. You have a huge vocabulary but try using some of the smaller words in it, then your big, picturesque words will stand out more and be much more effective. Also, I thought your word choice was rather incongruous with your lack of correct comma usage. I did think this was quite well done, but simplicity can amaze just as much as complex sentences and words.

[One Last Drop...]

Excellently written. It caught my attention and I stuck with it to the end. Such a sad ending! But it's great. A really good twist in the plot there, and it wasn't an average fantasy story. Well written and a unique idea.

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

This is a really cool and amazing story. The detail is fantastic and I enjoyed every minute of it. You did a fabulous job writing this piece, awesome write!!!

Heather

[Frances O'Neill]

This is an interesting story of fantasy. The ending contrast piece is very nice and a contributory idea to the fragility of life.

[James Watts]

This was cool. The interesting thing you gave depth o a social order belonging to a trbe of fiish...I like it. The twist a the end was very nice.
A bright thing was dancing as it by itself, twisting and mesmerising. It caught the eye of a youngling who darted after it, her eyes wild in wonderment. A fancy! One of the many devious trickeries of Those Whom Reside Above. (liked this. Not until I got to the end I realzed th right thig as lure and those above were people. So, just a guess, but did the chemical planthave anything todo with these highly independent thinking fish. Awsome read.

[dawnsue541]

You are so good at writing the twist in the end.

[Crystal L. Test]

Oh my goodness, quite a twist at the end, eh? I wasn't ready for that! About half way thru I truly found myself being drawn into this fantastical world. This has such an ominous tone. You successfully carried throughout the piece. Quite an interesting read. I haven't reviewed many stories but I read plenty so I figure I know what's interesting and what isn't. I'm amazed how you were able to imagine and describe the landscape and the characters.

Great job and thanks for sharing.