Crawling, crawling, crawling

What's it feel like?

 
Imagine it's late and
you're trying to sleep,
but it feels like ants are
crawling up and down
the veins of your legs.
Crawling, crawling, crawling.
   
You try to shake them both
to fight off that annoying  
sensation just like you would shake
the dust out of a rug -
 
but it doesn't always help.  
 
You know that feeling
when your arm
is filled with mosquitoes?
Yeah, kind of like that,
only it's inside the legs -
moving slowly.
 
You have to get up
and walk around awhile.  
If you don't, it could  
drive you nuts.
 
It's kind of like a horror movie -
where bugs invade  
your body and you can't
get them out.  
 
All you can do is  
 
wait
 
and watch time pass
 
slowly.

Reviews

[Masked writer]

OH MY LORD, I could feel them, i could imagine them, I HAVE FELT THEM!

[Relic]

Thanks for your thoughts.

[Sheila Kline]

My now deceased father endured it while suffering from Parkinson's Disease, and a close acquaintance of mine has it so I am well aware of the discomfort and suffering that the condition brings! I'm sorry you have to be a victim of it and can but say I hope it lessens so you can get needed rest!!
I'm not familiar with the previous version so I can't comment on the revisions/changes made.

[Relic]

Thanks so much for your comment, Sheila. It's good to see you drop in. :)

[Chris Shaw]

Restless leg syndrome. You describe it so well here. You just have to get up and move about. Yes it feels like creepy crawlies in your bloodstream and the last thing you can do is sleep :(

Chris

[Relic]

It's a pain in the butt.
Thanks for the comment, Chris.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

when substantially bothered by problems hanging over our heads this is what sleep seems like...or lack of it.
The bugs are the thoughts that just keep us awake as they buzz or crawl through our minds.
Really terrific metaphor here.
j.

[Relic]

Thanks for the comment, J. :)

[John the Baptist]

Look on the bright side. It could have been slugs.

[Relic]

lol yeah, I'll try to look on the bright side if I can. Thanks, John. :)

[willweb]

I know this feeling very well and experience it often. I have been told I don't drink enough water but that doesn't seem to help either. It is kind of creepy to feel. At times I wish I could hang upside down by my feet because in my mind it seems like that would help, it probably wouldn't. Thanks for letting me know I am not alone.

[Relic]

No, you're not. I drink water everyday and try to get in a goos walk, yet it doesn't always help. Thanks for the comment will.

[Einstein Noodle]

sounds like restless leg syndrome .. i had a girl friend that had it and it was dangerous to be sleeping next to her ... what a long time ago that was .. another life .. that crawling, creeping feelings is so distracting, aggravating ... annoying ... at this time of year the gnats are rampant here in the Ozarks .. i don't know how they do it but they get inside the cabin at the smallest of opportunities .. to flit and creep and crawl on me arms and legs, face and beard .. arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! there's nothing for them to eat so i find gnat graveyards below lights, large windows and spots that make no sense .. i know the feeling you speak of .. and what it can do to sleep .. lack of it rather, as a result .. very relatable poem for me .. triggers all kinds of feelings and memories .. thanks for sharing Relic!
E.

[Relic]

And thank you for reading, E. :)

[FGFRANKLIN]

I liked the original better to be honest, which I always strive to be. I understood it and it was more succinct in delivery. Sometimes less is more. Don't get me wrong, this one is fine. I just prefer the original and, as in all things, opinions and tastes will vary. I enjoyed the read. F. I still gave it a 100%

[Relic]

Thank you. I write not only because I like it, but to learn. :)

[FGFRANKLIN]

Me too. I'm still learning even though I've been at my craft a long time. I still experiment, rewrite, edit, all that stuff. That's why I like this site, it's not a really serious forum for accomplished poets although it doesn't exclude them. But we amateurs who write for a hobby or fun have a place to hang our hats too. Frost said, "To be a poet is a condition, not a profession" and I couldn't change the condition anymore than I could change the color of the moon.

[Lorry]

Your words here relic remind me of a tune called funeral march of the marionettes, otherwise known to all as the theme tune to Alfred hitchcock presents. Perhaps you should try humming it the next time you get fizzy leg syndrome, which my then 5 year old niece was adamant that it wasn't pins and needles, but a technical medical term for what you just described. The thing I find most troubling about that is she is now a nurse. 😊
I do know the pain you talk of, which when suffering from it, the only appropriate name for it should be "Not a feckin chance of sleep" disorder.
Good luck with your own personal horror movie and I hope they never make its sequel 😊

[Relic]

haha, I hope not either. Thanks Lorry. :)