Rain...

Rain...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rain 

runs her fingers 

through my hair

kisses my lips

caresses my shoulders

and whispers in my ear

"Don't go..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note

Please point out any inconsistencies, mistakes, or overall thoughts - good or bad.
Thanks to Richard for the advice. :)

Reviews

[FGFRANKLIN]

She's out to drown you. ;) I'd give my pronoun personification like the rest of the poem and make it "her" in preference to "its". Just my penny's worth of thought. But the poem is pretty nigh perfect as it is.

[Relic]

Thank you, Franklin. I'll consider "her."

[Soyam]

It's smoother than somebody's career :)
Beautifully penned... hope to hold that loved rain I hand.., but after cuddling us like this, they simply slips or leave:)

[Relic]

Yes they do Soyam. Thank you for your comment. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh but this works so well.

I see it allegorically...the rain being trouble...maybe in a relationship...and it is saying....stay and face me, the love is worth it.
I love short pieces like this....so much room left for the reader.
j.

[Relic]

Thanks for your thoughts, J. Much appreciated. :)

[knighngale]

aww that's a good one dear, love it, i love rain, rain is good, but I know what you mean, great work hon, :D

[Relic]

Thank you, knighngale. :)

[knighngale]

your welcome dear cheewuwu

[Aluppi Jampur]

I'd recommend a darker font (since you asked)
Sad feel to this one. Lovely little poem.

[Relic]

Thanks for the recommendation, Chrome; and the read. :)

[Relic]

Tried to get the font darker but it messed up the poem so I'll have to leave it for now. I appreciate the suggestion though. I'll keep it in mind. :)

[Aluppi Jampur]

It's fine. I just have bad eyes.

[Relic]

So do I. ha

[cheyenne s garcia]

Loved this. Reading it was excellent. Hope to hear more from you.

[Relic]

Thank you so much, Cheyenne. :)

[cheyenne s garcia]

You are very welcome.

[Richard🖌]

Ohhhh-YES, Tim!

A modest, but highly imaginative Free Verse that creates a moment's sensation most all will recognize and relate to in one personal way or another.
I recall happy, sad, and mournful times standing in the rain … excellently rendered and presented, my very skilled Friend.
Your title is deceptive, as it leads one to believe they're going to receive the description of rain … for this reason, it should be titled simply, Rain... in light blue and bold letters, so we'll be completely surprised and even more pleased. Your use of tildes as decorative holders is like eye candy that reeks of good taste … maybe, make them blue and bold, too? Worth a look-see, eh? Great line-breaks, needs befitting artwork to make it the virtual little masterpiece it deserves to be.

Anyway, you know I love it, like do all your work! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Relic]

Thank you, Richard. I believe I've had rain as a title in the past. Thank you for your - experienced -comment. :)

[Richard🖌]

All I can do is try … LOL!

[Cherrie Palmer]

Makes me think of summer.
Nothing better than a summer shower, no matter what your age.

[Relic]

Thanks, Cherrie. :)