Father ’n Son

One afternoon beneath a tree,

my age no more than twenty-three,

'pon Mary's supple, soft red cheek

I placed a kiss that made me weak.

In me, her charms endowed romance

with ev'ry quick, flirtatious glance.

At every turn of every stroll,

a kiss from her I gladly stole.

As years elapsed, we merged with fun;

then, traded vows … we had a son.

I saw our young man’s growing drive,

bestowed by life to make men thrive.

And then, one day at twenty-three,

a girl he kissed beneath a tree.

I need not share what follows next,

it parallels my prior text.

I only hope when we’ve grown old,

our legacy will thus be told …

“The girls we'd kissed beneath a tree,

made all live very happily.”

Author's Note

Thank you to Richard for his invaluable help. He's a blessing to the site. 😊

Reviews

[Patricia]

This is beautiful, not many men would write like this of their son unless you are talking songwriters and a few come to mind but I am so moved when I read this, what an awesome write!

[Relic]

Bobby Goldsboro? Thank you very much, Patricia. :)

[Aluppi Jampur]

Love this! Beautiful romantic smooth flowing rhymes.

[Relic]

Thank you very much, Chrome. :)

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

I loved the story this told! A son following in his father's footsteps!
And too me the last stanza pulls it all together!

[Relic]

Thanks very much for your thoughts, Kathy.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

My pleasure!

[Betty Hermelee]

Like father, like son! I find it sometimes difficult to watch our kids grow, especially into in their teens when they fist discover their hormones and then from there, who knows'; it's also nice to know that father is setting a good example for his son. A lovely write, soft and romantic, and making an important point in life about setting examples for your kids. It's those parents who don't is where kids get into real trouble. Very well done
Best, B

[Relic]

I agree, B. Thank you for adding your thoughts. I appreciate it.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

This is so sweet and beautifully written. Awww, really it’s so heartwarming and I loved the way it was written and how the story goes on, the parallels between the father and the son. It’s so adorable and amazing, but honestly realistic. The story, the rhyming it all makes for a wonderful poem. Thank you so much for sharing such a great, generational story. (:

[Relic]

Thanks so much for your kind comment, Verigo Cat. It's much appreciated. 😊😁

[Sami Khalil]

A very good tale of Father and son; rhyming real well for maximum effect. I like poems with tales. You are good at both.

[Relic]

I appreciate your comment, Sami. Thank you very much. :)))

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome Relic and not Tom sellek....

[Sami Khalil]

Selleck....................

[Relic]

.....😁😀🤣

[Sami Khalil]

:)........................

[Gee]

Faultless and a tale told through generations.
I have only 1 daughter and if I catch any man missing her I'm gonna rip their lips off(joking)
Hope you are well Relic

[Relic]

lol Thanks for your thoughts, Gee. :)

[.]

Wow, what a nicely rhymed poem and the theme!!A nice story of two generation but one fate shared by these lines and happ ever after ending....really like this poem

[Relic]

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Dreamer. Thanks so much. :)

[John the Baptist]

This is a very nicely rhymed tale of two generations. The speaker notes how he met his wife and then relates a very similar process in the life of his son. This is a happy story covering an extended period, something we don't see a lot of in these pages.

[Relic]

Thank you for reading, John. Much appreciated. :)

[JayG]

I like it. Prosody-wise the meter is perfect, and the generational continuity is a nice, warm, touch.

[Relic]

Thank you so much, Jay. Your comment means a lot. :)

[JayG]

If you want a really great, and interesting dive into the ins-and-outs of prosody, and what it can do for you, Howard Ho does a deep analysis of the poetic aspects of the song, Surface Pressure, from the film Encanto.

The first four minutes are background on the situation that the song is reacting to. Not poetic, but interesting, non-the-less.

Then, he does an analysis of how and why the lyrics grab the listener, and create the necessary mood.

I found it fascinating, and a demonstration, both that as a lyricist, Lin-Manuel Miranda is a genius, and, that there's a LOT more to writing poetry and fiction than there appears to be.

YouTube: How Surface Pressure Works & Why It's Catchy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diuYQxcLdWw

[Relic]

I'll check it out for sure. Thanks, Jay.