A mile to go

With smog

Hovering among

Crevices

Of a sleepy city  

The sun rose

From slumber

Heedful of rain

On the way.  

Soon,

As increasing showers

Diffused puddles

On shiny streets  

Birds in flocks

Flew.  

Car windshields

Clattered.  

And a lonely reveler

From the night before,

Braving every soggy step,

Could only contemplate

The last call,

The last beer,

And the girl who left

With someone else.  

Having no umbrella

And a mile to go,  

The sky

Employing harsh wisdom

Reflected his pain.

Reviews

[FGFRANKLIN]

"The sky is crying" to quote SRV. And that blues tune passed through my mind as I read this. Love the painting you chose to go with the poem as well. Nice work.

[Lisasview]

Love, love, love you excellent image!!!
Wonderful thoughts explode into your poem dear Relic!!
I just loved every word...
Lisa

[Relic]

I appreciate your comment, Lisa. Thanks. :)

[Lisasview]

You are most welcome

[emmajoygreen]

Firstly that picture.. brilliant, moody and what could add or improve its mood. ?!

Your words! You took that visual and re-created its mood, its clues, its corners and creases.. is as if -you had turned it to squares and hinted at each square. Brilliant phrases, finely selected words, I wonder, do you paint or photograph?

'.. lonely reveler - from the night before, - raving every soggy step, - could only contemplate.. '
'.. the sky - employing harsh wisdom - reflected his pain. '

Not allowing me to post a review - yet again.

[Relic]

I appreciate your comment, Emma. And no, I don't paint or photograph, I only use my imagination. :)
The site has been malfunctioning a lot lately for me too.

[emmajoygreen]

Your imagination holds both pen and brush, my friend.. you see and use a panorama of words - you fortunate gent.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Bravo, my friend. This is freaking fantastic. I loved every word! My only regret is that I'm just now reading it. Sorry about that. You've so much talent. F.

[W. Barrett Munn]

I get the idea of an sky doing the crying for a man unable to do so - perhaps machismo prevents it. Perhaps he is simply to defeated and cold. Definitely creates an image in the mind, and that is good.
W.

[Relic]

Well said, W. Thanks.

[Aura]

That familiar pain overcomes this man, seeing the girl he loved walking out with someone else, all the things that could've gone wrong... has gone wrong. A familiar gut pain that will eventually get better but will harden a person's heart. I enjoyed reading your poem, thanks for sharing! I also like the image you chose to accompany your poem, it's dark but still has alot of details in the painting!

[Relic]

Thanks very much for taking the time to read this and for leaving a comment, Aura. :)

[Aura]

The pleasure is all mine!

[John the Baptist]

Well, those all nighters will exact their price, won't they? Great imagery here, all pointing to the guy's misery. I hope he is sober enough to walk that last mile without falling into one of those "diffusing puddles."

[Relic]

haha, I hope not either, John. Thanks. :)

[duff]

The lines are scenic and you feel as if you're walking with the writer. Beautifully vivid and your words painted the environment. You captured that rainy walk and then some. Its a pleasure to read this.

[Relic]

Thank you, Duff. :)

[Silmara McGarry]

Who hasn't walk that mile hum? The imaginary is superb and your poem strongly well written.
Well done!!!
I hope all is well with you :-))

[Relic]

Thank you, Silmara. :)

[keith]

anonymous walk of the humbled

[Relic]

So true. Thank you Keith. :)