A mile to go

With smog

Hovering among

Crevices

Of a sleepy city  

The sun rose

From slumber

Heedful of rain

On the way.  

Soon,

As increasing showers

Diffused puddles

On shiny streets  

Birds in flocks

Flew.  

Car windshields

Clattered.  

And a lonely reveler

From the night before,

Braving every soggy step,

Could only contemplate

The last call,

The last beer,

And the girl who left

With someone else.  

Having no umbrella

And a mile to go,  

The sky

Employing harsh wisdom

Reflected his pain.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

A pleasure to read this poem again Tim. You create great imagery here and a fine ambience. The city would kill me these days after living in the country and yet I was born in our capital. A beautiful composition.

[Relic]

Thanks very much, Chris.

[Lorry]

Been there, done it, got sick of it snd moved to the countryside to try reclaim the last remnants of my sanity. (I think I'll get that printed in a t-shirt!) 😃

[Relic]

lol Thanks for the comment, Lorry.

[Marie]

This unhappy gentleman found himself at a place in life which he never wanted to experience in reality. It is a very difficult place to be and perhaps the alcohol brought him some semblance of comfort in some small way. The weather seems to reflect what he is feeling inside. Morning dawned and he found himself without anything to save him from the falling rain. I can see tears in his eyes, but you would think it was the rain running down his face. Hope in the cold light of day that he has learned a lesson and abandons the drink, exchanges it for a wonderful life without it as his constant companion. A well executed narrative poem, thought provoking and insightful, also very poignant. Thank you for sharing, dear R...

[Relic]

Thanks for your great review, Marie.

[Marie]

Most welcome always, dear R ..

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

lovely rhythm. flawless. and i'm thankful for having the privilige of spending a bit of time in your private thoughts. it always feels, wherever we are, that there's still a mile to go. while the narrative is talking about one day, there is a lot of subtext and insight, which makes it overall a memorable poem.

[Relic]

Thanks very much for your thoughts, Ern. :)

[Samuel Dickens]

I think I know that guy. What a sad, sorry pile of human debris we men can become when a gal gives us the boot. (Or cold shoulder) The scene you present is vivid and the words strike home. I'm glad he walks in the rain and doesn't drive a car.

[Relic]

lol Thanks Sam, much appreciated. :)

[Starbaby]

A very thought provoking scene you paint for us. Life often teaches us the folly of our choices with harsh punishment. I liked this very much.

[Relic]

Thanks for the comment. Much appreciated.

[Panhead Rod]

Very nicely written piece... All of us at some time or another suffer that one wet mile to go... Loved it...

[Relic]

I appreciate your comment. Thanks so much. :)

[AYVID N]

A beautiful description of rain reflecting the bleak weather within.

Having no umbrella
and a mile to go

...speaks of the difficult place in life with little comfort or assurance within reach. The pain is made worse by the betrayal. I felt it strongly.
A great poem, dear Relic.

[Relic]

Thank you for your kind words, Divya. :)

[Arundass TP]

This is an interesting poem. Enjoyed reading 🙂

[Relic]

Thanks very much.

[Brad]

This is very very good. There is such an emptiness "the morning after". This captures that feeling remarkably well.

[Relic]

I appreciate your comment, Brad. Thanks. :)