More Writers Cafe Rules 11-20.

This is a continuation of the 10 rules of Writers Cafe.

More Writers Cafe Rules 11-20.

A Story by Relic

RULE 11: FRIEND REQUESTS:

Send out friend requests to as many people as you can but don't review any of their work. Many will be under the impression that you enjoyed something they wrote. Experienced writers, however, may be cautious about strangers who have never even said hello to them. 

They'll research your friend's list and notice it growing at an exponential rate. For those that accept you, a peek into your Stats could reveal more reviews received than given. 

Some of you are shy about giving reviews or just plain suck at conversations. You probably just want to see a multitude of faces on your friend's list. Indulge, perhaps they have photos in their accounts you can admire while you're there. On the other hand, you could just wait for someone to review your writing. (See next rule).

Rule 12: READ REQUESTS: 

Send out lots of read requests to new friends that have accepted you. Hey, if they're nice enough to hit the accept button without checking you out first, why not give it a shot right? Otherwise, just follow rule 4 (Reviews) if you're so inclined. 

RULE 13: POINTING OUT ERRORS:

Beware of pointing out any errors in another's writing. Some people actually do appreciate your input; they're not only thankful but also interested in knowing what those errors are. Others, however, are very sensitive and might delete your 'critical' review. They may have worked over five minutes writing that thing. 

Don't take a chance; show them you enjoyed it by using tiny or massive praise. "Great!" is a good start. If however, you're adventurous, you can go all out--"Okay, after reading this epic poem, I'm ready to call it quits. Do you wanna know why? Do you wanna know why? Because I'll never be this good if I live to be 200, okay, okay, I mean come on!" 

Then again, you may not even be giving any reviews. I just figured I'd mention it in case something exciting should happen in your life to motivate you into trying it. 

Rule 14: MENTION WRITERS CAFE:

Mention Writers Cafe in your title. It tends to draw people in. I guess they feel like you're talking about them in some way. Oh, how I remember those dreary days with little reviews until I did this. Perhaps you will have some luck at it as well. Try it.

RULE 15: SELF-PROMOTION:

Advertise your own work in each of your reviews. This is a risky move but could be beneficial. You see, some people can't always understand what a poem means so they look for other opinions to guide them. If you mention one or two of your poems or stories, who knows, you may get an unexpected review out of it. 

For example: Wow, Blah blah, this sounds just like my poem 'The Red blah blah.' Or, perhaps you could even slip in some tension as a hook. "This poem has such impact. I wrote a similar one called "The Green Blah blah. Be careful if you read it, though, the outcome may be too much to handle...for you, or anyone else who reads it." 

(Thanks, LA Lorena)

RULE 16: IMAGES

If you can't think of anything creative to say in a review, just refer to the amazing images. Writers enjoy such comments. It gives them the impression they were more creative than they originally thought.  (Thank you Kimmer for this idea.)

RULE 17: CUT AND PAISTE

If you don't feel like doing a review, simply cut and paste a large portion of the poem followed by the words, "God I Love this, love this, love this!"  This will depict an overwhelming sense of enjoyment you received from a certain stanza you just needed to point out or you'd burst. (Thanks, DrD)

RULE 18: SLIP OUT:

If someone has asked you to give an opinion of his or her poem and you don't have the desire to do so, you can say that it merits much more time than one reading can handle. You want to go over it again to grasp its full impact. That'll buy you some time before you forget about it.     (Thanks, LA Lorena again)

RULE 19: BLOCKING:

On a more serious note, I'd like to end with some words by my friend Frieda...

"This is not a physical contact sport; there is no need for unnecessary blocking. Be the adult, if you are one...and just ignore the person like in real life. Otherwise, see rule #14."

© 2013 Relic

Author's Note

As in the first set of rules, this is told with humor.

Rule 14 was omitted. See Redzone's review and my reply.

Reviews

[CS]

Rule #12 is why you are my friend, right? I suck at conversation. Thank you for letting me keep your house on my friends list so I feel less lonely and have something lovely to look at.

Rule #13....one morning, oh, many moons ago, someone here sent me 27 read requests in one day. I have been traumatized ever since.

Rule #14- Yes, this is a writing site, and we should be adult enough to accept constructive criticism of our work, but really, who wants all that negativity when we can just give overblown gushy reviews where everything we read is "magick" or "beautiful" or "gods gift to mankind". We are here to stroke ego, aren't we? Don't like that someone said you misspelled something in your poem? Delete their review, their friendship, block them completely, and then make up a fanciful story about them to ruin their reputation.

Rule #15-Or, get into arguments with people who genuinely like you for no reason. That has caused some pretty good drama around here too.

My dear sir, this was the most beautifully magical piece of writing ever written in the history of mankind.

P.S. I really did enjoy this :)

[Frieda P]

lmao

[Relic]

Now who's starting rule number 15? and where did my reply to Courtney go?
Thank you Courtney for your review.

[LA Lorena]

I think perhaps she blocked you. I know I did.

[Frieda P]

yep where's the stupid fookin rule on blocking, seriously, who'd wanna block me....hahaa

[CS]

I would never block Relic. He has the prettiest avatar.

[Relic]

Okay, lets relax now. ( under his breath--Christ, what the hell did I do now)

[LA Lorena]

Give it another month Frieda, and half the site will wanna block you. Your funniness disrupts the quiet scholarly atmoshere. Oh s**t, just realized that this comment could be considered a 15 starter.

[Relic]

My comments are disappearing. I like it when you curse LA. ha

[Frieda P]

It's LA's fault I'm sure, and thanks Lorena I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy inside now...

[Relic]

I feel the end of 15 coming on.

[LA Lorena]

Oh, I can curse! It's how I ended up on the naughty list. Isn't that a poem BTW? That I wrote? SEVENTEEN!!!!!!! ADVERTISE YOUR OWN WORK IN YOUR REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Frieda P]

jaysus I just went to read a 'friends' stuff and I'm blocked again! You have cursed me LA ;P

[Relic]

You got it love.

[Frieda P]

2 down....

[Relic]

Tis done.

I haven't been blocked in a long time. At least not yet.

[LA Lorena]

ya, well it's early yet Relic

[Relic]

Yes, I know, but there's always a chance. Thanks for 17 love.

[Frieda P]

Should make a rule that if someone blocks you for no good bloody fookin reason, there's gotta be an explanation...at least A, B or C!! ;)

[Relic]

Hmm, lets see...

[LA Lorena]

I got blocked my very first hour here! ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Frieda P]

wellll, forget it.....

[LA Lorena]

FRIEDA CHECK YOUR DAMNED INBOX WOULD YOU!!!

[DrD]

I would answer all of you but you're blocked. But Frieda wants a reason . . . . Myrna's jealous.

[LA Lorena]

Myrna? I thought she was yesterdays news? Or is it tomorrow already? Mexican time is different than here, I'm sure. At midnight, is it still today or is it tomorrow already? I'm fookin confused as all hell now.

[Frieda P]

hahah you like that 'fookin' word eh? Myrna can go suck on pickle pancakes!

[DrD]

Get your time straight because Myrna invited you and Frieda to tea tomorrow at 3 p.m. The Midnight Blues Park, lot 32, her trailer is the chrome one with the rounded roof with the four pink flamingos in front.

[Relic]

haha

[DrD]

By the way, Courtney, concerning rule 15, will you marry me?

[†Tracey†]

You all kill me.. My bladder sling is now ruined and I blame WC for it all.. But I'm evil and so therefor art thou that is expected of me.. Now about the block thing.. what's bad is when "someone" blocked so many people they no longer were getting the cream cheese reviews...so humbly we get unblocked ....then the next day ...blocked again. I think I like being blocked..so if anyone wants to block me go ahead. I have the Tracey acct and she'll just blow some fluff my way lmao..xo Oh and I am guilty of Love it.. so I want you to know I love it and this is sensual lmao.. ;)

[†Tracey†]

Oh wait.. I am on the Tracey acct.. so I confuse myself...da*n it.. So scratch that and just know I always have Lily ... ;) lmao

[Relic]

I'll block you for a couple of minutes if you want Tracey.

[†Tracey†]

Ok.. but then can we have cyber sex during that time? Just sayin? lmao

[Relic]

Okay, I'll rub your bottom front. ha

[†Tracey†]

You have no idea what that does to me ...lol

[Frieda P]

OMG, wtf is going on, can't a girl even take a wee without all hell breaking loose around here? haa

[Relic]

Haha, I have an idea.

[†Tracey†]

We're done now it's ok...hahaha

[Relic]

Did you enjoy you wee?

[Frieda P]

DrD getting married, shenanigans going on, I have to figure out Mexican time...and I'm not missing out on those pink flamingo's again...

[Relic]

BTW Frieda, you can find Sylvia on my Palewriter account.

[Frieda P]

You in love with Sylvia too?

[Frieda P]

How do I get to palewriter, is that like WC?

[Relic]

Yup. and anne sexton too. You know I'll be reviewing your poem soon.

[Frieda P]

A Sylvia follower, hope I did her justice....

[Frieda P]

You Relic on that site also?

[Relic]

It should be writerscafe.org/palewriter If not, go to writers and put it in.

[DrD]

Hey, it's not official yet. I just sent the invitations to be printed but Courtney hasn't answered. I called but all I could hear was her laughing. Maybe she was watching cartoons or something. But when it's official, I want you guys to be the bridesmaids. With Myrna, that'll make four. Myrna's all excited and preparing things. Even braiding the hair under her arms.

[Relic]

No just this one. All the notification icons broke and my best poem was lost along with all the reviews (over 500)

[Relic]

hahahaha.

[Frieda P]

Are you having it catered? I don't want pickle pancakes, I'll make meat-a-balls...

[LA Lorena]

Uh Relic, I'd be mighty careful telling Freida to put anything in anywhere. Never know what you'll end up with.

[Frieda P]

OH cool, you have Sylvia's audio for Daddy, I won't listen now, I might go into convulsions and that ain't pretty...unless someone wants to give me mouth-2-mouth. :)

[LA Lorena]

I'm trained in CPR and am a health care professional, but Frieda honey? I have STANDARDS! ;)

[Relic]

Sure, I love giving that to woman. Should I ask Katerina 56 if she wants to make out? She's a new writer here to give business advice.

[Relic]

I'll take her place for her.

[DrD]

No, Myrna wants to cook. She's not very good at it but it's what she wants. She's in the kitchen now and has a question for you. The recipe says to separate two eggs. But it doesn't say how far.

[Frieda P]

you guys have me all discombobulated, posted in the wrong place!
& you don't have to fook me, just save my life for crying out loud!!

[Frieda P]

Depends if she's standing in a north or south facing window....

[Relic]

Okay.

[DrD]

I'll tell her . . . . thanks . . . . oh, can't. She took the bowl into the bathroom. Doesn't know when to stop working, that girl.

[Frieda P]

tell her not to bogart that thang ;)

[KAOlmsted]

You people are blowing up my live feed for f**k's sake!!!!

Oh. Or do I mean fook?
read moreYou people are blowing up my live feed for f**k's sake!!!!

Oh. Or do I mean fook?

Fek it, I don't know...

:-D

[Frieda P]

feck, fook fek it's all the same f**k a duck The kimmy

[Frieda P]

ooops, ...'er' lol

[Relic]

Whatever you do, don't tell Avy we're still on. If she finds out this thread will turn out to be the longest in WC history. haha

[KAOlmsted]

Never...never...call me kimmy, even with the The :-p

Meanwhile, Relic needs to compile the two lists and make one big list then we can all start fresh...God, what am I saying...

[Relic]

Yeah! What ARE you saying?

[Frieda P]

sorry k...i got excited by the bowl, lost my head...longest thread? do ya get a prize so?

[Relic]

They are still in the process of making a badge.

[Frieda P]

do b***s come with that? ;)

[DrD]

She's back, Frieda. Just checking, what color are pickles again?

[Frieda P]

they start with a P right? what color do you think they are? Purple, what else...unless you get the foreign ones, then their that new color 'edible'

[DrD]

Hey Myrna! Let me see that bowl. Frieda says there's no brown pickles!

[LA Lorena]

do b***s come with that? ;)

they should. cuz then, if you don't have time to read and review, you can just wear something low cut and bend over a lot, and they totally forget that you don't do reviews! Oh wait, that only works IRL. never mind.

[Frieda P]

ROFLMAO!

[Relic]

It does. ha

[Frieda P]

still waiting on the b***s and that 'other' rule....

[Relic]

What b***s and other rule? haha I don't even remember anymore.

[Frieda P]

hahaha was wondering why I got dragged back to this thread, forget it, I got my ow b***s ;-)

[Relic]

haha, this think is three miles long. That's tooooo long. Yes, you can have your b***s.

[Frieda P]

I know but it's probably the funniest one on here...& thanks (o) (o)

[Relic]

haha, it takes me a couple of days to get to you on it though. I'm going to PM you.

[Frieda P]

Oh fook, my b***s got separated! hahaha

[Relic]

haha, that's okay with me.

[Laminators Dubai]

Blah Blah Blah ,,,,,,,, thanks^^

[Relic]

And thank you glitch.

[Laminators Dubai]

haha
its cool....as usual ^^

[Toddy Zed]

I got blocked by that Tate Morgan fellow because I rated his poem 74/100. That's a "B"! Is that considered a low score? I even said that I enjoyed his poem.

[The Analog Kid]

You will find there are some on here that can't take any criticism.

[Relic]

Yeah, I don't know why Tate would do that but I'm sure he has his reasons. Did you tell him you gave him a 74/100? What poem was it?

[Toddy Zed]

He seemed to know somehow. It was one about an old jockey. I said I enjoyed the poem and gave what I thought was a pretty high score.

[Toddy Zed]

He said I down rated it.

[Relic]

Wow, that sounds weird. I'm wondering how he knew. I'll check out the poem and see if he deleted your review or not.

[Relic]

It seems he deleted it. Very odd, I'll have to look into it.

[The Analog Kid]

He actually sits there and monitors the scores of his poems so anything less than 100 is unacceptable...lol

[Relic]

haha

[icelandicblue]

I was drawn in by rule 16 and laughed at rule 19. I was gone for a week and had so many read requests it felt like homework that I had missed from some college course I forgot to attend, making me rethink sending out read requests of my own. I think it's better to stumble over work as I did this which made me smile, commiserate and grimace.

[Relic]

Thanks very much for reading and I'm glad you liked it.

[Marie]

I never make friend requests; never sentd out read requests.
#17. I don't advertise my own work; I don't have to.
#18. I am often guilty of plaing the "imagry" card when I can't think of anythng to say.
#20. I resent being asked to give an opiniion of a poem, and I will be brutally honest about it if such a request is made.
I have never blocked anyone.

[Relic]

Glad to hear all that Marie and thanks for reading.

[Colt 45 & 9/16]

Wow.! That's about right!! I do all that annoying stuff you mention!! And I though I was soooo unique!!! I reckon I better try a different angle eh. Thanks fer da in sight !!

[Nautili]

I am guilty of following a couple of these rules from time to time.....but that is what makes this so amusing, we are so very, very human, aren't we? But it has inspired me to review more and in a more meaningful way. I loved the irony of this piece. I mean imagery....lol.

[Relic]

I thank you for reviewing and have a happy new year.

[Muse]

This is not your niche...yes it drew attention to you. But you wrote this in a rant. Your talent is in poetry. It is a pissing contest when it comes to this place at times...but you were always one of the quiet ones...watching from the sidelines....minding your own business. Don't be like the rest of them. Stay honest...stay you.

I should also mention..that I agree with some of your points..but disagree with others...a writing such as this is a good way to stimulate conversation...but the motives are unclear.

[Relic]

Have no fear, this was written with a dose of humor and I've not left my original purpose behind for the spotlight of popularity. I enjoy the sidelines and will not be giving up my spot there anytime soon. It's okay to disagree with some of the points here. I didn't write this with any real seriousness so I didn't expect it to become as popular as it did.

I'm hoping to write more poetry sometime in 2013 but through the advise of a friend here (Giving you a wink) I'll be waiting a little longer before posting now. I want to take greater care in what I produce now. My habit has been to put out something prematurely. Something I've been doing since I started.

Thanks for the review.

[Muse]

Thank you for sharing that...I feel better now. I was concerned that your love of writing turned into a mission to feed a monster of an audience.
Can't wait for your return. xo

[Relic]

Kisses to you. My first love has always been music. All my avatars in the future will reflect that. I'm going to treat my writing as I do my playing--With care.

[Muse]

That is a testament...to a mature writer. We all know words read better when they can age like a fine wine. Reread...prefect...reread...correct. Then you share it to the world my friend.

[Relic]

Wise words, I'll remember that.

[Muse]

I wish more writers thought like you...it is about quality and not quantity. But I never felt you were like some of the others. The work you produced was always of quality...straight from the heart. It was the reader that was lost to your art.

[Relic]

Thank you for saying that. It's a struggle for me to get things right and I'm sure with the exception of a few poems I could probably revise bits of what I've written in the past. I may not though, I'm looking to future writing with more interest now.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

WOW! You really have your rules figured out. You have to be very observant to know this...and I mean really paying attention to the ins and outs (and to these behaviors). I think you could pass as the WC therapist here. :D

Great write my friend!

[Relic]

Haha, thank you Robbie. Perhaps I'll stick to sarcasm instead. Then again...:)

[MOON]

All true best is when they block you, slamming doors in your face how cool and well mannered is that , the higher self coming to the fore. Lovely thought provoking write.

[Relic]

Thank you Moon.

[quinfinn]

many good points illustrated in this write, and i have been on w/c for almost two years, so i am familiar with all the little subtleties which fill in our reviews. i personally try to encourage my friends to send me read requests for the writes they want attention for, however it is almost always a lopsided equation...i am personally proud to announce that my review to reviewed ratio is virtually equal. thanks for this write, it was needed.

[Relic]

Thank you for the review.