Echoes of You

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in the corners of our wrinkled sheets,

reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea;
it leaves me dripping remorse.
It appears death's formidable grip can trump a full hand
of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence
held me in perspective as one
too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders.

The scent of your demise, to me, seemed innocuous�"
fleeting and unable to bloom.

But flowers, I've discovered, are fragile things
that, in a short period of time,
will die from the slightest chill.

And I�"unbelievably�"
immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner�"
unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs�"
never noticed at all�"
your petals�"
falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.

Author's Note

Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

Many people do not realized or value what. They have until It.s. gone.
Nice Work

[Relic]

Thank you, Fran.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

As always. Your images are so depth filled and true. The wrinkled sheets - delicious phrasing! I love it when you can revisit and revise an older piece and finesse it with new thinking. Sometimes being able to see it with different eyes can bring the thing you felt was missing.

[Relic]

I agree, Jennie. Thanks for your thoughts.

[Chris Shaw]

Flowers need to be nurtured to get the best out of them. This poem can be read on several levels. It is written in a very poetic way, lovely lines and images. A feast for the eyes and other senses. It also carries a strong message, strong metaphors. A great piece of poetry. Flowers are like children, my children are my flowers.

[Relic]

Thank you for reading, Christine.

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome, and it was my pleasure.

[Chris Shaw]

Can't believe that it is a year since I read this poem Tim. Good to read again with its strong message. Nurture is the name of the game. Often not realised until it is too late.
Regrets come at a hard price.


Chris

[Chris Shaw]

And another read of this one Tim. Such a beautiful poem. Merry Christmas to you.

All the best.

Chris

[Relic]

You're very kind, Chris. Thanks and the same to you. :)

[Mrudula Rani]

This is a masterpiece, superb poetry in every sense. Regrets of a sensitive soul! Why Is hindsight 20/20?

[Relic]

Thank you, Mrudula.

[RW Erskine]

interesting indeed
kind of reminds of something Dylan might write if you get my meaning.

[Relic]

I do, thank you for stopping by.

[ZakLeonRamsey]

I am really sorry if this offends you, but what is this poem about? From the 'swimming naked in the guilt's sea' it makes me confused, but does that line refer to something she/he has done bad which means the protagonist doesn't like swimming in the sea of guilt?

[Relic]

He ignored the woman he loved. The lines you refer to are a metaphor.

[ZakLeonRamsey]

Ah, okay. I keep getting mixed up with these kinds of poems, in this style, format.

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

I think it’s just beautiful how you look back and in reflection you learn of the longing of your soul and can admit to weakness which are part of our growth and learnings- sometimes regret comes too late but life gives us more than one chance to make right- well let’s hope- everyone deserves a second chance- love the words the deep connecting with self and your honesty where having failed- well written 🌹

[Relic]

Thank you for your thoughts, thoughts. :)

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

My pleasure🌹

[conversations with her ..]

I really enjoyed this poem, and I’m looking forward to reading more of your pieces. I'm kind of new on here and it would be an honor if you can review my 4 new recent poems. (The world is ours, Nostalgia, Paradise, and You)

Thank you and Keep up the Good work!

[Fatima]

this is so good and meaningfull

[Relic]

Thank you, Fatima.

[...]

Begin of poem was great. I feel drifted into your poetic stream . But in middle this long words cannot take me in. I feel like something pushing away. Maybe cause my English is so bad. Or I except another progress of your poem. I am sure it's great poem but somehow i cannot relate it .I am sorry if my words hurt you. Just another opinion . For your note about reviews. I have actually opposite experiences.Mostly I get praises and sweet words without any analysis of my writing. Also is not just young writers but also quiet old and veterans writers. Yes is depending also how you say what's wrong with a poem. I think it will be great if here will be more honesty and kidnes

[Relic]

Thanks for your thoughts. :)