Echoes of You

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in the corners of our wrinkled sheets,

reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea;
it leaves me dripping remorse.
It appears death's formidable grip can trump a full hand
of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence
held me in perspective as one
too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders.

The scent of your demise, to me, seemed innocuous�"
fleeting and unable to bloom.

But flowers, I've discovered, are fragile things
that, in a short period of time,
will die from the slightest chill.

And I�"unbelievably�"
immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner�"
unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs�"
never noticed at all�"
your petals�"
falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.

Author's Note

Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

Reviews

[Patrick]

yep powefully instructive and your interpretation is equally as helpful. monumental writing

[Relic]

Thank you very much.

[Falling Leaf.]

I don't think I've ever reviewed your writing. This was quite the first impression.

[Relic]

Thanks for saying that. I appreciate your kind words.

[Falling Leaf.]

My pleasure.

[Falling Leaf.]

I don't even remember posting this review... Needless to say I enjoyed reading this... again!

[Relic]

Thanks. I never even noticed the date. haha. I thought you did it today. LOL

[Muse]

But flowers, I've discovered,
are fragile and brittle things,
wilting at the slightest chill.

and

ever noticed at all--
your petals falling one by one.

I think I've just now read some real poetry. So much emotion and self inflicted pain made of suffering and self awareness. It almost hurt to read you. Powerful stuff, one of your best.

[Relic]

Thanks so much Muse for your kind thoughts.

[Emma Ruth]

Very touching and inspiring - we should all remember not to take things for granted; even the strongest relationships need maintenance - thank you so much for sharing and for reminding everyone of that :)

[Mia]

What a wonderful poem, I can't imagine it being done any better! Fantastic!! Wow!

[Relic]

Thank you very much Mia.

[Mia]

You're very welcome!

[Soul Fire]

Great work! I loved it! I:)

[Relic]

Thank you very much.

[Soul Fire]

You're welcome :) Great work! Awesome job!

[Relic]

:)

[...]

What's not growing is dying. A love taken for granted is starving and you have captured it so well, dear poet.

[Relic]

I appreciate your review, thank you.

[lee von cleef]

well painted,the head strong life leaves a lot in its wake ,the life of take, take,take.
now I am to late, late, late.

[Relic]

ha, Thank you very much for your thoughts.

[Doreen]

Can I relate to this. I love the poetic way you've strung this together. I didn't find anything I didn't like about this.

[Relic]

Glad to hear that Doreen, thanks very much.

[Lily Mae]

This is painful in thought and yet I know it to be true.. I've seen it happen far too often.. So many things come into play in relationships anymore it makes me not believe in it at all.. xo..

[Relic]

Relationships can be tough it's true. I've seen them disintegrate then mend, then the cycle repeats. It takes a lot of work. Thanks for the review Lily.