Echoes of You

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in the corners of our wrinkled sheets,

reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea;
it leaves me dripping remorse.
It appears death's formidable grip can trump a full hand
of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence
held me in perspective as one
too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders.

The scent of your demise, to me, seemed innocuous�"
fleeting and unable to bloom.

But flowers, I've discovered, are fragile things
that, in a short period of time,
will die from the slightest chill.

And I�"unbelievably�"
immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner�"
unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs�"
never noticed at all�"
your petals�"
falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.

Author's Note

Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

Reviews

[Cherrie Palmer]

Richard has a keen eye for polishing up a diamond, this poem is ad lovely as ever. Beautiful work my friend.

[Relic]

Thank you for reading, Cherrie. Merry X-mas.

[Delmar Cooper]

As you said "my most popular poem" and for a myriad of good reasons. Another could write this same poem, the same topic, and the result is something befitting a Hallmark Card. If your poem was sold on greeting cards none of us would be able to afford one. Thank you for sharing.

[Relic]

That's kind of you to say. Thank you, Delmar.

[Laconic Meraki]

What I saw when I read the first line was not sheets on a bed.
It was sheets of paper instead.

"Don't trade what you have for something better."

[Relic]

Good point, Christa. Thanks so much for reading.

[Laconic Meraki]

Thank you for writing such beautiful pictures with your words.

[Relic]

I'm glad you liked them.

[Laconic Meraki]

I meant painting such beautiful pictures with your words. 🙄🤷❤

[Relic]

haha, well I thank you again. :-)))

[Laconic Meraki]

Ditto.
Keep calm and write on 💜

[Cassie]

I always come back to read this poem, I am surprised I have never left a review. This poem speaks volumes

[Ted Kniffen]

There is not much to be said for this Relic ... except bravo ... you have produced a near perfect piece about the loss of love and regret at the loss and the role the protagonist has played in it and come to realize the mistake that was made.
Well done ... a good write

Take care be safe

[Relic]

Thanks so much, Ted. :)

[Neville]

I am almost lost for words... such a beautiful, insightful and understanding bit o poetry .. thoroughly enjoyed and so deserving of each of those 318 … yes three hundred & eighteen previous reviews.. and I'm sure there shall be many more.. All Good Things,

Neville

[Relic]

Thanks very much, Nev. :)

[Neville]

You are most welcome...

[Unspoken poet]

But, flowers - I've discovered - are fragile things
that in a short period of time
will die from the slightest chill.

This is so true, i love these lines so much. I can feel the emotions in this write. Very well written

[Relic]

Thanks for taking the time to read and review.

[T]

Oh this one hit home too much, which is exactly what makes it great. If only we could make someone see the gift that is before them and help them understand the need to cherish it while it is theirs. Regrets come after the loss, when we lift up our heads from our own selfish place and then see what was always before us. T

[barleygirl]

You brilliantly express many aspects of humanity using well-crafted imagery with intellect. I have often felt this way thru-out my younger life. I was (am) independent, but guys wanted to capture me & own me. I still hear all the time: "it's too bad someone as pretty as you never got married!" I love that you're calling out this ownership behavior . . . it seems archaic, but it still happens all the time! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[kentuck14]

RELIC,
Enjoyed the imagery in this piece. Regret seems the cancer of the soul, the 'if only' the self-inflicted stab into our heart. Your mentors helped you put out a fine poem.
Tom

[Relic]

Thanks very much, Tom.