2 weeks to live until i die then i met Love (part 1)

Fake Love - 2 weeks to live until I die then I met Love

I always knew I was alone… since I was born; I’ve always been left out… no one cares for me... I kept thinking, why did I exist? Why am I here? I have nothing to do here… nothing’s right for me here… until I knew I had this kind of sickness… a sickness that can’t be treated anymore… I told myself that this would end this painful journey of mine… I don’t know what the right feeling to feel, would I be happy? Would I feel hurt? I don’t know. I don’t care. I don’t care what happens to me. It’s alright for me to die. Take me, Painless, painless disease.

“I’m sorry ma’am, there’s nothing we can do… she has leukemia, she only has 2 weeks to live…” I heard the doctor say to my mum.

“I… I understand but… but please don’t tell Helen she only has 2 weeks to live… not yet…” my crying mother replied.

“I understand.”

There. Two weeks, Two weeks for me to live…  It’s fine, Fine. There’s nothing I can do is there? I ran to my room, thinking about my death. I was wondering who will I die? Will I die in the streets? In my room? Or maybe in the arms of my beloved? No, the last part can’t be true, impossible to happen. But, Can’t I try can I? Yeah, it’s fine… I’ll try to get a boyfriend just to past time till I die… it’s fine isn’t it? It’s fine.

I woke up in the winter morning, cold… freezing. As I stood up from my bed, I felt a sudden pierce in my stomach, maybe it’s from my illness? I don’t care. I flipped out my dark long hair to the sides since it was all over my pale face. I went to take a bath and brush my teeth. I went down the stairs wearing my long sleeved purple sweat shirt and my baggy-old black pants. I wore my steel-toed rubber shoes then went to the table to eat breakfast. My mum was sitting there, staring at me with curious eyes. I ignored them and then went to the opposite seat from her.

“Good morning dear” my mother said meekly, as if nothing happen last night.

“’morning mum” I said in a low voice.

“So?  How are you feeling? Feeling alright?”

“’sort of”

Then it was silent.

I was done eating breakfast. So then, I stood up from my seat, grabbed my jacket and my backpack then went out without saying anything.

I finally arrived school. It’s just a typical high school here in the neighborhood. There are popular people and there are geeky looking people. Well, I belong to the normal people. As I enter the campus, I saw a large group of people around a certain someone… it was him. The person I hate the most, Jack Thompson.  He bothers me a lot, I hate him… but luckily, I’m dying… so it’s fine, I could take two weeks of bearing his annoying face. Yeah, that right! I could ask him to be my boyfriend, so that I would die in more pain, I could take it. “Right.” I thought to myself. “I’ll ask him later” I thought once again. This is the right thing to do… maybe it would make my life more interesting until I die… it’s alright. It might be fun. So there, I went to my first period class, waiting for this day to end. Finally, the day reached It’s end. I remember clearly that I left a note on his locker saying:

 

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Please go to the park after class, I need to talk to you about something.

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That’s all that’s written, without my name, of course. So there, I rushed to the park and I saw him there, waiting. He really did come. I went closer to him and he looked really shocked like he’d seen a ghost.

“Hi there.” I started

“H-hi…” he replied, somewhat nervous.

“Don’t be so nervous, I’m absolutely not going to eat you, you know?”

“W-what do you want to talk about?” he sounded a little calm now.

“Well, I’ll ask you a favor, I’ll say it directly and only once, so please listen carefully.”

“Okay, I guess?”

Pathetic.

“So… now, I want you to be my boyfriend from now on.”

“What?” he was taken aback by my words.

“I told you I’ll say it once.”

“Oh. Well…”

“It’s just fake… just… don’t fall in love with me okay? And it’s just for two weeks.” I said, sarcastically.

“Well, then okay. It would come in-handy though, so that the girls would stop swarming me.”

What a boastful person, Annoying.

“Good.”

There, it’s the start of a new relationship. I just want to overcome this annoyance. Still, I don’t care what happens… that’s what I thought.

It was then, every morning, he would come to my house and pick me up so we’ll walk to school together, we would hold hands… but every time we see each other, I feel a lot of pain deep in my heart, I ignored it once but still couldn’t take it… it was painful, not painful physically, but emotionally. I was… I was already… in-love with him… that’s why it’s painful, it’s painful for me to lose him, to be not with him. Every minute of the day, ticking of a clock in every second, I felt more and more scared. Scared of dying. I couldn’t believe it. All these years, I’ve been waiting all my life was already right before me, death, death was the only way I could be free from all these… that’s what I thought. But now, no, I don’t want to die! I don’t want to! I can’t believe he opened me up. He gave warmth to my cold heart and somehow melted it. But wait. No. this isn’t right. What am I saying? This is just a fake relationship isn’t it? Why... why did I let myself taken from it? I would just suffer more… I hate it. I hate it. we were now at the park, still holding hands.

“….. Are you alright?” I heard him asked.

“Ye-yes I am.” I said, somehow nervous.

“Are you sure? I was just wondering… are on a diet or something?”

“No I’m not.”

“Why is it that you look more skinny than before? Your skin’s translucent… are you sure you’re okay? And you look paler too…”

Is that how I look like?

“Hey, is this relationship still… fake?” I asked, ignoring his question.

“Of course it is! Didn’t you say so yourself?”

I was taken aback. Aghast filled me. I don’t know what to do… then suddenly, tears flooded my eyes… why… why did I fall in-love with you? Why?

“Hey… it’s alright… don’t cry… it’s going to be okay… tomorrow, this relationship will end… so…”

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll DIE. 

“…you” I said in a low voice.

“What?” he’s still holding my hand.

“Please listen carefully because I’m going to say this once.”

“Okay”

I looked up to look him in the eyes, I know my eyes are already red from crying, I feel really chilly and dizzy, but I guess, with just this one chance, I’ll tell it to him clearly, so that before I’ll die, at least I told it to him.

“I lo….”

My vision then, faded.

I woke up, I saw a white ceiling, white floors, white walls, white bed and a… dextrose. I was in the hospital. I saw, beside me was not only dextrose, but also a pack of blood. I did blood transfusion didn’t I? as I brush my hair with my hand backward since it was on my face when I pulled out my hand, I saw a large number of my hair were taken off. I felt scared. It becomes worse and worse every minute, every hour and every day. That reminds me, where’s Jack? Did I tell him what I am supposed to tell him? Then suddenly, I heard little voices discussing something outside the door.  I went closer to the door to familiarize who those were…

“… She has already a severe Leukemia. She’ll going to die after 2 weeks.” A woman said. NO! it was… it was my mother! She…

“I didn’t know any of these…” it… it was Jack. NO. NO. NO. She’s all spilling it to Jack. NO.

“Didn’t she tell it to you?”

“That… That was why she said that I’ll be her boyfriend for Two weeks… That was why…” he almost wanted to cry. He’s… He’s worried about me…

That was enough for me… I could die now… it’s fine now… I heard him say that he’s worried about me, and I’m fine with that. I know, I’ll write him a letter… in that way, I’ll tell him all of my feelings…

My time has come… I’m happy now, I’m happy that my mother, my father is here… and also my beloved person, Jack. I’m so happy I could cry, but I can’t… it would be painful for me… I don’t want to see my beloved persons cry… but still, they cry. My mother is crying… I so want to tell her “please don’t cry my dear mother. I want you all to smile. Please, please smile for me.” I wanted to tell them so much. Then there, I was panting already, black was slowly taking over, it’s creeping through my vision till I’m blind already… I felt a scared once again. No! I don’t want to die yet !!!! NOO!!!!!

“JACK! WHERE ARE YOU?! WHERE ARE YOU?!” I shrieked in pain but still kept going.

“I’M RIGHT HERE! HEY! DON’T SLEEP OKAY!? OKAY?! YOU’LL NOT DIE! IT’LL BE ALRIGHT! I PROMISE YOU THAT I’LL ALWAYS BE HERE SO DON’T WORRY! JUST PLEASE, DON’T CLOSE YOUR EYES! DON’T LEAVE US! DON’T LEAVE ME…” he cried and held my hand tightly. His tight grasp was hurting me yet I was happy… He said he’ll always be there for me, I was then, once again, happy. I then smiled and said in all my energy “thank… you…”

*TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT*