Pondering my evil thoughts

A boy ponders his evil thoughts...

As I was sitting on the sharp, cold, damp rock I was pondering some of my deepest thoughts, digging deep into my broken soul, as I was being intoxicated by my evil thoughts, I could hear the soft rhythmic beat of horse's hooves pounding into the pure white snow.

I took a sharp turn around, but I could see nothing. Nothing. All I could see was the silvery trees waving at me in the zephyr winds, with their fake smiles, they were just visible, poking through the dense fog that was consuming the world around me. Then I saw him, he was on a tall horse, that was of a great height, it was a deep black colour, in the moonlight it had a tinge of azure to its swear-laden coat, on it was a man, with a serious disposition, it looked as if his face had never once managed to wrinkle a smile. His grey hair shone in the dimly lit star filled sky.

The man had dismounted the majestic beast, it had never moved since he had arrived; it was stood stationary, a lifeless robot. The man's footsteps crunched in the glowing snow as he wandered over to me. He stuttered, "Are you ok, young boy?" Then I clumsily replied, "I'm fine". He then slowly limped back to the horse, mounted and galloped off into the beautifully hopeless distance. Leaving me to ponder my evil thoughts once again...

Reviews

[Meeks]

"As I was sitting on the sharp, cold, damp rock I was pondering" - I would remove the 'As' in the beginning, and then replace 'I was' with a comma. Also, too much description of the rock.

"I could hear" - this should be a separate sentence. And try the unfiltered voice, describe the hoofbeats instead of describing how you hear them.

"but I could see nothing. Nothing." - unfiltered voice, 'but there was nothing there.' Also, the repetition of the word nothing is confusing, especially since you describe stuff that you see in the next sentence.

"Then I saw him, he was" - unfiltered voice, 'Then he appeared, sitting on'. Basically, just try to describe less what the hero sees than what is happening. The reader should be the character, not be inside the character's head.

"tall horse, that was of a great height" - either remove 'tall' or 'of a great height'.

"coat, on it was" - Turn the comma into a period. Separate sentence.

"He stuttered, " - is he stuttering though? Maybe a different verb?

Overall, interesting. This has a hint of a deeper meaning, though I can't grasp at it. Something about turning down people who help us? It's written in a style that speculative fiction uses, lack of plot, totally unrealistic setting, and raw ideas illustrated by words.
Good job,