Everything Wasnt Enough

If

i could see you again

i would punch you

i would kiss you

i would hate you

i would love you

i put all i am, all i ever was into you.

in return, i got home and a heart.

for the time being.

we were walking on a tightrope the whole time

only we didnt know.

we were too busy looking at the sky.

 

but that one night

changed it all.

and i still gave you my everything,

but not even everything could save you

now im broken

except this time,

i only have to pick up my own peices.

Author's Note

anyyyy thoughts are great, thank you!

Reviews

[Leboutaine]

Were the words in bold meant to be so in order to form their own independent meaning?

"If, we were too busy looking at the sky, only, my own."

Your own sky? Or maybe I missed the point. Who knows?

Your writing - and I've read all three of your poems - isn't exactly over the top, and neither is it too subtle. It's quite hard to pin point exactly what I feel from your submissions, but there are parts I really do like.

It's never a bad thing to be misunderstood or at least hard to read, especially in writing or expressing yourself. You wouldn't want everyone to know everything about how you work and what you feel about whatever you talk about, from just one conversation now would you?

Don't worry about trying to be different or trying to make a point out of anything that was awful or how you were wronged etc... just be raw and yourself. I think this one - out of the three - is definitely the most raw, and certainly feels more justified to be written about. It's unsettling and the rhythm never really seems to click, but that's why it's decent. I don't think a poem has to read well nor does it have to sound pretty or wonderful, but it has to sound like something. Something that is hard to describe? Well, that's never a bad thing now is it?

Get the people talking, even amongst themselves, and they'll read more. Tell them what they want to hear straight away? You'll lose before you even try to win.

Keep going how you are, from this one on. I like it.

[ANNA]

This is a very emotional and layed out piece. You are great with switching up the fonts and layouts..
Sad and heartwarming wirte my friend. Thank you for sharing!

i put all i am, all i ever was into you.
in return, i got home and a heart.

for the time being.
we were walking on a tightrope the whole time
only we didnt know.
we were too busy looking at the sky.

WOW love that part!
Much love n respect,
Anna