Doll Shop

Enter if you dare: A poem about living dolls.

Come on in and enter in my doll shop.

You will see living dolls starring at you.

Their eyes will move side by side whenever you look around.

You won’t believe your eyes.

You will see them like a big surprise as they become alive.

My dolls can move everyday.

My dolls are made from little humans.

They will haunt you down like demons.

Dare to enter in my doll shop.

My dolls will love to play with you.

 

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems please

Reviews

[Bandgeek]

wow i love it. i kinda cant watch chuckie movies cuz it jsut freaks me out the idea of living dolls

[Eric Cox]

Whoa! Spooky. Cool job on this.

[Ruth]

Brrrrr, chilling! lol
You know, dolls are something that I never had a place for as a child and now, I know why! LMAO
Excellent love
xx

[Demetri J]

I understand the horror you are trying to convey but honestly, it doesn't really follow through well with your writing style. A tip for horror is that we as humans are scared more by our imagination than anything else. That's why the most legendary horror films and books have airy concepts and unexplained things, that leave your mind to wander. Play mind games with your audience, don't just come out and be blunt with it. For instance, if someone told you that you were going to die you would be alot more scared than someone holding up a knife and saying they would stab you.
"They will hunt you down" doesn't really build up fear that much. Leave some mystery, let our imaginations do the work.
If you don't understand what I mean look at the picture. When you said "My dolls will love to play with you." it's alot more eeire and ominous that showing the picture and saying "These things are gonna kill you, BE AFRAID!"
Just my advice, continue to elevate
-Demetri J

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

Good peom. LOL Its making me shiver a little bit...it is creepy...thanks for sharing. :D

[Sam Severn]

This s**t gave me the CHILLLLLLLLLLLS!!!!!!!!!! Awesome! ㋡

[Star Wolf]

Nice shivering and delightful horror! This has a high creep factor!

[Tina Kline]

Very spooky and so is the picture. A true horror poem, imagining those killer dolls
coming closer and closer! Creating some fantastic chills!

[Calypso]

Creepy. I'm not afraid of dolls, but they can be creepy.

[Sean M. Addams]

very creepy .. nice job on this one ...