Blood

My first haiku poem

Blood covered your body.

Death steals your soul.

Now you pass away.

Author's Note

I think I did it right lol, it's my first.

Reviews

[Kat Plunkett]

i like it :)

[Loner]

Beautifull.

[Ruth]

Interesting, great work too:)
As always a sombre tone lol
Cool hon!
xx

[HorrorMaster]

lol damn oh well at least I tried. Dinish

Even though what I meant is like. Blood Covered your body: Meaning that you got killed by getting stab or shoot. That you about to die.
Death steal your soul: It means the grim reaper steal you soul to take you to heaven.
Now you pass away: It means you died and ready to be in a coffin.

[Dr.Who.LOVER]

Short and to the point! Nice

[FeliciaS (Poetic Prince..]

I like it

[Dinesh Sairam]

Yea, as Kanattas said, It's 645, do change it. As for the imagery, I'd say - don't repeat the inference; That is to say "Blood covered your body" already explains that something bad has happened (A bad wound, or death). "Death steals your soul" further elongates the very same meaning. "Now you pass away" - Now wasn't this inferred in the second line itself? Haikus are so very vibrant and inconsistent. You need to carefully choose your words and imagery. First for instance, try writing a Tanka (57577). I'm not being hard on you, everything is to make you all the more a great poet. Hope you understand. :) Keep writing.

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

nice message and i like it. but it's not a haiku. your pattern is 6-4-5 when it should be 5-7-5. great poem though

[Nicaushio Yamaki]

nice work hey horror master check out my new media player on my profile

[Poetic Beauty]

I don't know if you did it write for I don't write them but it is powerful in it's statement none-the-less. great job on writing a powerful statement here.