Desert

This poem is about a lonely scared man in a hot desert.

 I stand alone in a deep sand.

The sun burning my skin.

It feels like I am in middle of nowhere.

I begin walking as fast as I can,

The sun burning my eyes.

I am surprised they cannot find me.

Ah god, my skin is peeling off from the heat,

It’s beating me to death.

I must get out of here.

I called out, "Help! Help!"

No one heard me.

Sand dust covered my legs.

My throat started to get dry,

I need water, so I can survive.

Now snakes jumped out of the sand.

They came near me,

as they started biting my legs.

I started to use my legs to push them out of the way.

I tried my best to run away from them.

   It feels like I am living in a hot coffin filled with sand.

The fear of my life will never be the same.

My day in this desert will never be forgotten.

                  

Author's Note

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The story of the desert is amazing. Thank you to the U.S Army. I spend years in the desert. Your story is true. The heat and the snakes/spiders are the enemies. Many a days we changed our path for the snakes have the right of way in the desert. A very good story.
Coyote

[Aline S. Iniestra]

Great poem! I guess more than trying to escape or survive the dessert situation, is more the chatracter's trying to survive his own desperatin and fear. I don't know. Anyway, it is a great poem, fast paced, short sentences that take the reader step by step into actions and thoughts =)

[FeliciaS (Poetic Prince..]

Thanks for the review on my poem. Yours is good as well.

[haley]

The image is quite contradictonary to the poem

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I thought this was interesting. I would love to try to survive in the desert one day. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Daniel Gardner]

Nice job describing the desparation of being in a situation like that. It would have to be terrifying. No shelter, no water, no relief from bugs or snakes. Good work.

[Bodhisattva]

very well written love it!

[Christina May Shanaberg]

I have, only, tiptoed around the edge of the desert in Arizona, but I know that it could not be pleasant beyond where I was. An endless sea of sand, void of life. Great poem and great writing, but I hope that you were never stranded out there!

[Desert Dreamer]

Great image of a hot deathly desert in your poem. I like everything in your poem except the snake image, it just doesn't fit my experience with real snakes. I have rattlesnakes and king snakes in my garden, and we live in harmony together. I can't imagine real snakes biting you in the desert as you described, snakes only bite if they feel threatened or cornered, snakes prefer to hide from us humans. If I imagine the snakes representing a symbol of the hot desert biting you as you hallucinate from dehyration, I can relate to the image but wish that you had used some imaginary creature, or the word serpent, since real snakes don't do this and I feel like I must defend the snake. Snakes as well as other unloved desert creatures such as scorpions and spiders and welcome creatures in a garden and in nature, they eat all the mice and insect pests and keep everthing in balance.
Don't get me wrong, I really love your poem. I feel the heat of the desert and know that anyone not used to the desert can easily die out there. You communicate that fact very clearly. Thank you for sharing this poem.

[Eric Cox]

Well done imagery in this. Cool poem. Extreme heat is very unpleasant, makes me think of hot summer days.

[WriderParker]

I liked how you were so detailed in your poem...Now the only desert i've experience I have was when we drove thru it and had to turn the Car's Ac off for a few mins lol. But this makes me feel like i'm their...and its to hot for me! XD jk but i'm more of a cold kinda guy...only one thing don't switch your tenses in the middle of stories or poem...Good work Dude!